User:Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
188 active editors • 40,977 articles in English

From today's featured article 

Sick Orchids.jpg

Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.

Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Drowning.jpg
  • ... that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (Pictured)
  • ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
  • ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
  • ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
  • ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
  • ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions?
  • ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?

In the news 

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity

On this day 

This is a dolphin not a fish, I demand a refund

March 23: Take Your Fish To Work Day

  • 139 AD - Roman historian Erraticus publishes the fourth version of Life of Trajan, this one portaying Trajan as an emperor and retracting the previous version's claims that Trajan was a talking donkey.
  • 1097 - St. Peter's Basilica was first used outside of the Vatican city during the first Crusades.
  • 1952 - Beloved British children's author Enid Blyton publishes her most famous work, The Three Golliwogs. Please don't google it.
  • 1956 - Pakistan declares itself to be an Islamic Republic, which is like the Old Republic except without the Jedi.
  • 1962 - Dozens of women march on Washington D.C. to politely request feminine rights, their husbands sit at home without their supper.
  • 1974 - The last dirty liberal is sent to serve in the Vietnam War, rendering America a perfect utopia of conservatives for nearly eighteen months.
  • 2026 - a Plane has love affair with A track, making the worlds first Plane-Firetruck hybrid.

Picture of the day

Mavis Beacon Teaches Stereotyping
 A powerful tool for stereotype reassignment.

Image credit: Rcmurphy
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Other areas of Uncyclopedia

Sister projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia languages

This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,977 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

> User:Main_Page/Page

> User:Main_Page/UnPod

Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=User:Main_Page&oldid=5638217"