Portal:Art

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from History of art)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Art Portal
Art for art's sake is an empty phrase

Art (from the German arsch, translating loosely to "sexy ginger") might be the expression of amazing talent and possibly not stupidity or lack of imagination. Art may be generally considered purely a middle/upper class pursuit. However, some examples may have practical applications, meaning that they might also be enjoyed by the working classes.

Art is commonly understood as the act of making love to things that look like nothing much like people and which have no meaning beyond simple description. While art is often indistinguishable from mockery and pointless hobby activities, this boundary can at times be hard to define, as if anyone cares. The term creative arts denotes a collection of disciplines whose principal purpose is the output of material for the viewer or audience to ignore.

Today's Featured Images
Charles Grodin Thinker.png
Yes, the Grodin Museum. The only art museum in the world showcasing works inspired by actor Charles Grodin, star of such timeless classics as Beethoven and Clifford.
Image by PF4Eva
Featured Art-icle
Focal Point.jpg

Girl with a Pearl Earring is a painting by the renowned cubist Johannes Vermeer. Many have said it resembles a girl with a cloth wrapped around her hair. Just as the name implies, if you form a triangle between the girl's "eyes" and the tiny white dot just below the "cheek" area, and rotate the triangle 135 degrees counterclockwise about the "left eye," a focal point is formed where the white dot lands. When the image is magnified on a computer, tiny squares of color can be seen. Each square is approximately 100 square micrometers in area, further emphasizing the preciseness of Vermeer's cubism.

Featured Biography
Rohe.jpg

Ludwig Mies "Vander" Rohe (German for Ludwig Evil Of The Brutality) (March 27, 1886 – August 17, 1969) was a German (or possibly Austrian) fellow who reinvented architecture in the early-to-mid-20th century by creating buildings that looked like big glass cereal boxes.

Rohe grew up in a small suburban town in the southwest of Germany (or possibly Denmark). His father, Emilio Rohe, is widely credited with inventing the elevator call button: before him, people had to shout what floor they wanted very loud and hope that someone already inside the elevator would come down to get them. His mother, Mikembe Rohe, died in a tragic blimp accident when Ludwig was three. As a result, Rohe was raised believing that he was pooped out by a pterodactyl on the Rohe family's front lawn, as is the customary child's tale in Germany (or possibly Belgium).

Did You Know?
  • ... that milk left in the sun for three hours will have more culture than Australia?
  • ... that Hitler painted using only brushes made from hairs plucked from the beards of rabbis?
  • ... that Samuel Taylor Coleridge was straight edge?
  • ... that all Wal★Mart stores built since 1990 have been awarded the Pritzker Award for Excellence in Architecture?
  • ... that most cats are excellent architectural engineers?
  • ... that Marge Simpson is the sexiest woman ever depicted in art?
Arts in the News
Pollock defaced.png
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.
Retrieved from "https://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Portal:Art&oldid=6403177"