HowTo:Build A Better Career Today

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Be your own boss
Special pamphlet containing information on working from home

Work at home
Make 10, 50, even 100 Thousand dollars a month

Call now[edit | edit source]

Call now, and we'll send you out a special pamphlet containing information on working from home and taking orders from no one - but yourself!

“After just three months, I was making up to $7,000 dollars a week, all working from home!”

~ American genius on Buying this book

Call now[edit | edit source]

All you have to do is call RIGHT NOW, in the next 50 seconds, and we'll ship you out a free copy of our thick book, full of tips on being your own boss and working from home. What exactly do you do? Well, we couldn't tell you that right here, they'd be beating a path to my door if they found out. Let's just say anything! If that doesn't help, send us $19.99, and we'll send you our free CD-rom for more tips and information. You're certaintly not going to be gambling on the real estate market, if that's what you were thinking. We're well above that!

How would you like to make 10, 50, even 100 Thousand dollars a month?[edit | edit source]

Be a boss[edit | edit source]

If I hear this commercial one more time...

Tired of falling behind in your mortgage and dues? Tired of your rich friends being douchebags? Tired of these goddamn commercials coming on so much? Now's the time to take our online computer-training course to improve your career, today! In just a few courses online or at our special training facility near your home, you can become literate in this year's world of computers! Train enough, and you could be your own boss!

How would you like to be your own boss?[edit | edit source]

Call now[edit | edit source]

Call now, and we'll send you out a special pamphlet containing information on working from home and taking orders from no one - but yourself!

“After just three months, I was making up to $7,000 dollars a week, all working from home!”

~ American genius on Buying this book

Call now[edit | edit source]

All you have to do is call RIGHT NOW, in the next 50 seconds, and we'll ship you out a free copy of our thick book, full of tips on being your own boss and working from home. What exactly do you do? Well, we couldn't tell you that right here, they'd be beating a path to my door if they found out. Let's just say anything! If that doesn't help, send us $19.99, and we'll send you our free CD-rom for more tips and information. You're certaintly not going to be gambling on the real estate market, if that's what you were thinking. We're well above that!

Be your own boss[edit | edit source]

Call now. Call RIGHT NOW. Operators are standing by. Call FAST learn FAST live FAST die FAST. Operators are standing by. Some operators are standing by the wall, others are standing by the door. One is standing by the sink. Some are sitting. Some are slowly being absorbed into the carpeting and wallpaper. All are standing by.

Bonus tip: be your own boss.

Work at home[edit | edit source]

Be your own boss[edit | edit source]

Work at home. Be your own boss. Be someone else's boss. Boss other people around: go up to random strangers and tell them "don't walk like that, walk like this". Soon you'll be making 10, 20, even 30 dollars. Go to your stinking job and work all day and then when you get home, work some more. Do the dishes, feed that cat. If you pick up your room we will give you 20 dollars. Operators are standing by. Tell your boss "You are not my boss. I am my own boss". This will earn you 10 dollars. Soon you will be working at home. Call now.

Call now[edit | edit source]

Call now. Make one, even two dollars. Find a 20 dollar bill on the sidewalk; give us half -- you have now made 10 dollars. Operators are standing by. Buy us a sandwich. This offer will not be repeated.

Call soon![edit | edit source]

Do not be your own boss. Be our boss. Tell us what to do! We are standing by. Should we take the 47 bus or pick a scab? Should we invest in dog coupons or walk like Ted Nugent? Should we teach our neighbors to speak Turkish or obsess about a rock we saw in 1987? We don't know! Boss us around! We like it! Call us a stupid bitch! Please call soon. You never call. Why don't you call? Call soon! Call within the next 800 years and receive this FREE bonus tip: be your own boss!



“My career starts today!”

~ Captain Sarcasm on How to build a better career today




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