User talk:S1312

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Welcome!

Hey, S1312, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thanks for making an account here. Hopefully, you'll like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

Roll out the red carpet! S1312 has joined Uncyclopedia!

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid - a helpful guide to help your writing

If you want your pages to last, those are good places to learn the basics of how to do it. With enough practice, your page (yes, yours) could even make it to the front page!

When on talkpages or forums, please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date so we know who said what.

To create a page, simply click here or make it in your userspage by clicking on this red link. Remember to put a {{WIP}} tag on your page if you make it in mainspace.

And finally, just have fun. It's why we're all here. Maintain a good attitude and you'll do well here. :)

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!   —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 01:19, 20 July 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to Italy.

We have pizza. The real stuff. It's Magically Fucking Delicious!!! 22:32,16August,2010

Thanks!

For helping to talk to and/or plummel the IP vandals. Some of them can become real good users and writers if they just decide to stay and play. Good to meet you! Nice work. Aleister 1:21 8 10

And thank you too for your vote on Disguise!!! Very appreciated. I've seen you working around the site and have waved, but you didn't see me in the crowd. Things are jumping 'round here. By the way, what does your page look like--does it have ads on the left side and a banner moving ad on the main page? Many new users are getting that. More soon, and thanks again. Aleister 00:31 22 10

Only welcoming users with edits

• Hey there. I think it's really great that you've taken the initiative to welcome new users. However, please do not welcome users who do not have any edits. Every day there are hundreds of new user accounts created, and only a few of them ever actually make edits. So please only welcome new users who are contributing to the site. Thanks, -- The Zombiebaron 20:00, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, I'll Try. --*-User:S1312-* (Yell At Me Here) 20:11, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

• I have banned you for two hours because of this. In the future if you wish to continue your work with The Wecloming Committee I suggest that you only welcome users who are making edits on Recent Changes and do not yet have a talkpage. Those are the users that will benefit from reading the Welcome template, not the guys you've been welcoming. Thanks! -- The Zombiebaron 21:34, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

Also...

Do you actually have a User:S1312/Welcome page you can template, or are you manually copy/pasting it? And also... consider getting the "Welcome Whore"-.js app, so it gets easier, if you're serious about being a member of the Welcoming Committee -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:18, 23 Oct

Now i do, thank you. --[(Sam DiSanto)] / Please Find The Link To My Talk Page. 21:20, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

And while you're at it, add yourself to the Welcoming Committee's Member page, too! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:23, 23 Oct

I Am now part of the welcome committee, thank you --[(Sam DiSanto)] / Please Find The Link To My Talk Page. 21:25, October 23, 2010 (UTC)

There is also a means of implementing some scripts that make welcoming easier than that, but tihs should get you started. -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 21:38, 23 Oct

Right mate

Stop welcoming users. You don't really know what you're doing and thus won't be able to help noobs when they ask you for help - which is the point of welcoming them. Want examples of what you're doing wrong? You're not leaving your signature behind when welcoming new users and they won't know who to talk with if they need something (not to mention that your signature is completely malformed) and you STILL welcome banned vandals even though you've been asked repeatedly to look at people's contributions before you do so. So again, until you're more experienced you'll be needing to stop welcoming users. ~ 12:59, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Ok. I Will Wait A While, (Please give me a time To start welcoming new users & feel free to set other boundries as well). Also I Like this, Nice work. Thank you --[(Sam DiSanto)] / Please Find The Link To My Talk Page / (twitter/Wiki) 13:19, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Your sig, and something about unicorns

Read this to help you set up your sig. Also, something about unicorns. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:25, November 21, 2010 (UTC)

Oh God, don't turn your back. The last time Modus talked about unicorns we had a sexual harrasment case like you would not believe. Whenever you hear the word unicorn here, get to a safe place. Your safe place, where it's all flowers and lambs jumping over other lambs. Aleister 19:56 22 11

Worse, PETA went crazy after the Uncyclopedia picnic, where we served unicorn on the cob. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:29, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Ohai.

Thanks for your vote on Protagonist. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101127 - 03:30 (UTC)

Massachusetts

You've added to the See Also of this page a link to invoke a Google search of all Uncyclopedia pages that contain "Massachusetts." The command to Google specifies Mozilla. Are you prepared to add such a link to all pages?

The right way to find all pages that have to do with Massachusetts is to look in Category:Massachusetts. Spıke ¬ 02:22 27-Feb-11

Sorry SPIKE, Unaware of The Category, I am using Firefox, maybe that's why the link had the Mozilla command to Google. I am not adding these kind of links to all pages. --[(Sam DiSanto)] / [(talk) 02:28, February 27, 2011 (UTC)

Well, that is the "right" way to see all members of a notable set, so I've made the change on the page. If you think there is a notable set of pages for which there is no Category, you can create it. Spıke ¬ 02:32 27-Feb-11

---

Now, I don't like this new diagram. It is huge--has to be, for the captions to be readable--and especially huge compared to the map just before it. And only to make the point that Western Mass. is relatively deserted (which was also made in the text) and that the towns around certain cities are essentially extensions of those cities--for which you have to read the text to find out "So what?" Spıke ¬ 16:42 27-Feb-11

Feel free to relocate the map on the page, please leave the image the same size if you can, the image is quite relevant. --[(Sam DiSanto)] / [(talk)] 18:01, February 27, 2011 (UTC)