User talk:Americaman90
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Americaman90! I'm Zana Dark, and I've noticed some of your recent contributions. I do hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. I'm presuming you can read, of course. You can read, can't you? For more information about Uncyclopedia you can also try: About Uncyclopedia; The Five Pliers of Uncyclopedia; Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Uncyclopedia, But Were Afraid to Ask; Our In-Jokes Page in case you ever get confused; and the Help Pages for help with a specific issue. There is also the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob Program. It's a scheme that is designed to bring experienced editors straight to you. You can ask anyone from our list of available mentors if they'll adopt you on their talkpage. I happen to be one, so if you want, you could just ask me. When posting on forum pages, talk pages, etc., please sign your name by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button ( Writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express yourself. To get started, it's recommended that you create it in your userspace (for example, User:Americaman90/Articles) so you can edit at your leisure. If you decide to create articles in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above to avoid instant deletion, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. So once again, welcome to Uncyclopedia, and have a great time! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:07, 8 January 2010
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Cybernetic ghost of Christmas past from the future[edit source]
The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas past from the future, or as it will be referred to for the rest of the article as CGCPFTF, is a famous robot and ghost, who made his first appearance on Aqua Teen Hunger Force as someone who told elaborate stories of things that happened thousands of thousands of years ago.
How CGCPFTF got here[edit source]
Many years into the future the CGCPFTF, was created by Plutonians. However, they got annoyed of him telling elaborate stories of things that happened thousands and thousands of years ago, so they built a rocket ship to send him to Earth. CGCPFTF landed in a barren wasteland where he assembled a team of robots who would help him with his bidding. After several years, he got access to a video archive of the past, he searched it for other robot brethren. He soon came across a refrigerator box time machine which somehow got him to the past where he eventually obtained fame.
Thousands and Thousands of Years Ago[edit source]
Now I warn you <insert name here>, this story will take a long time, so you might want to get some snacks before it starts
Before the dawn of man as we know it, there was a great red ape who was known as Santa Claus. He ruled over ape minions and forced them to create toys, but due to the fact that they were apes and incredibly stupid, they just used old bones lying around to make toys. Due to the fact that there were no people to give the toys to, Santa Ape did the natural thing and threw them at predators and defecated upon them like the rest of the ape minions. He then transported to the year 9595, After finding Martian technology that enabled time travel and just randomly pressing button because, you know, he was just a dumb ape and didn't know anything. Once he knew he was somewhere different he tired to take over RoboFrance 29, which you know would be easy becuase even when the french are robots with lasers mounted on them, they're still a bunch of wimps. He then enslaved the entire robofrance population and forced them to make toys (These Toys were given recognizable names like trains and kites which Santa Ape sent back to his ape minions of the year thousands and thousands of years ago. Sadly becuase the apes were so stupid , the ape minions just used them to throw them at predators and defecated upon them many of the ape minions died, Christmas continued to suck in a big way. Then there was the uprising of the advanced robot Chickens of the Robofrance population, much to the Santa Ape's surprise they were actually spies from Robospain and came there at the wrong time.
Wait, you're just now getting a snack <insert name here>? I said you should've done that before i started. Ok where was I? oh yeah.
The uprising of the Spanish robochickens lasted for several days many of the ape minions and the robochickens were decimated. However becuase Santa ape didn't know where the north pole was he just set up shop here during the Ice age in which all these events took place. and now what is now your house is now a massive ape minion/robochicken graveyard and that is why your house is flowing with oil and blood and the only way to get rid of it is to give yourself up to the ghost of the Great Santa Ape.
Greetings[edit source]
I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. ~ 
18:57, 6 January 2012