User:Willy on wheels/Uncyclopedia:Here to build an Uncyclopedia
 | This is an essay. It is not an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia. You are perfectly allowed to ignore and disregard the mad ramblings of its writer. Or you could submit it as an Uncycloversity assignment in lieu of doing any actual work. |
 | This page is a work in progress |
 | This page in a nutshell: Uncyclopedians are here to build an Uncyclopedia, i.e., a biased, unreliable, private, content-free reference work on topics which may or may not be notable. Users whose behavior suggests that they are here for some other purpose risk being exiled to Wikipedia or Encyclopedia Dramatica, depending on what variety of tomfoolery they display. |
One of the five pliers of Uncyclopedia is that Uncyclopedia is an Uncyclopedia. Another one is to be civil, but this one is even less followed than the previous one. This means that editors aren't meant to be a dick, and write shit. Specifically, shit that they wrote themselves. Because of this, editors who seem to have ulterior motives will be subjected to several different righteous punishments.
The expression "here to build an Uncyclopedia" is something that the author of this page pulled out of their ass one day (see the page history for the person and day in question) and is defined above, but is generally meaningless. It has never really been used in anything, but who gives a shit?
Being here to build an Uncyclopedia[edit | edit source]
Signs that a user may be here to build an Uncyclopedia include:
Genuine moccasins and being uncared-for by George Bush
- Having genuine moccasins is obviously a sign of being a true Uncyclopedian, and it also shows that they are a true gangsta. While George Bush famously does not care about black people, in reality, George Bush really doesn't care about anyone. As such, not being cared for by George Bush is proof that one is a human.
Overuse of in-jokes
- As Oscar Wilde once said to Kanye West, "George Bush not caring about black people is the reason for Uncyclopedia's existence". Captain Obvious, who was, at the time, a young man from Nantucket, spread this truism. AAAAAAAAA was a common reaction, and many resorted to kitten huffing as they were unable to handle the truth. It was only 2005, after all, and Chronarion had just made Uncyclopedia on his Euroipod. Contrary to popular belief, a wizard did not create Uncyclopedia, but one did pilot the USS Asperger. However, Chronarion has done that before, and he will do it again, and he will fucking kill Anonymous Slashy. Unfortunately, BENSON did almost kill Chronarion. This did NOT lead to the cabal taking over Uncyclopedia, as there is no cabal. Alas, Chronarion was eventually brought to his end in 2007 by 4.252.99.182, who simply told him to eat shit, fuckers. After this, Donald Tusk took over Uncyclopedia for a few months, until he was attacked by a grue during his sojourn in nobody cares and died, giving Uncyclopedia to Lyrithya. This history must be acknowledged in every page.
A focus on Uncyclopedia building
- All true Uncyclopedians are fluent in patent nonsense, and exclusively contribute in said language. Building a giant tower out of moccasins to house the true king of Uncyclopedia also shows devotion. Only the truest Uncyclopedians wear only moccasins and speak in nothing but nonsense.
Ignoring admins and insubordination
- We are all anarchists. Anyone who follows the Uncyclopedia:Rules and ignorable policies risks being placed on UN:OFFICE, or, worse yet, UN:LSD, for their counter-revolutionary treason. When someone asks you to do something, do the opposite.
Clearly not here to build an Uncyclopedia[edit | edit source]
The following may indicate a user is not here to build an Uncyclopedia:
Witty humor and willingness to help others
- Uncyclopedia is written in exclusively nonsense. Random humor and whatever the fuck this is are both examples of Uncyclopedia's signature style of humor. Witty articles not only lack the random humor that this site is built on, but also lack the in-jokes that make Uncyclopedia articles what they are. In addition, helping others goes against what is natural, and so, those who help others can only be assumed to have ulterior motives.
Never vandalizing pages
As Category:Vandalism shows us, Uncyclopedia is built from vandalism. It is only obvious that a user who does not vandalize with every edit they make is anti-Uncyclopedia. While they may claim to help, their true intentions are to destroy the website.