User:Tagstit/Howto:Tell if Your in a Scary Movie
You're in a mansion and run into a guy who is hiding behind his bed in his room.
Hey, you’re here too, okay great safety in numbers right? Safety from what you ask?
He looks over the bed and back at you.
Oh well I hate to break it to you but I think we are in a scary movie.
You get up.
No no no no don't leave! I have watched a million scary movies and can tell you what to look out for in certain situations besides, usually the one who tries to escape is the one that dies.
You sit back down.
In fact, it is all written on this page, keep it with you at all times alright?
A footstep is heard.
CRAP did you hear that? I think they got into the mansion. Whose they? I don't know yet, but we will find out.
Looks over the bed and doesn't see anything, but from the roof you see a pair of hands reaching down but it's too dark to tell whose they are. They reach down and grab the man and pull him up. You hear a loud scream and blood showers over you. On the floor is the page he left, you pick it up, it reads:
Get Moving[edit | edit source]
If your reading this I am probably dead, but you still have hope. Before you read this be warned that if you are not a hot girl between the ages of 18-26, you most likely are going to die. And if your black, just forget about it. He is for some reason always the first one to go. But one thing you DON'T want to do is stay put, because then if you were hiding the whole time the people watching the movie would be very bored.
So get up and walk down a long hallway and into the front of the house. The long walk down the hallway has to be slow and quiet. DON'T look behind you. There is a big man with an axe behind you and with every step he is getting closer but be strong. Slow steps and you'll be doing fine. Eventually, the man with an axe will step on a crack. That’s when you quickly look behind you! But when you do so he disappears.
Don't Answer It![edit | edit source]
Now just walk down to the front of your house. You will hear a loud knock at your door. DON'T ANSWER IT! Get your hand off the knob! Good. Jiminy Christmas! I think she said something. Don't believe her its not your girlfriend coming over to visit you! Just stay quiet and she will eventually go away...
...Ok she is gone! Well now you're rather bored just standing there aren't you. So now what your going to have to do is…crap…was that the phone? Oh, you missed it. Oh hamburgers! It rang again! Don't answer it! Just let it ring...
The Room You Never Knew About[edit | edit source]
...Okay you're good. Now you know something is fishy going on. People normally don't want to call YOU and talk to you. It would be best to go down and hide in the basement. So go there and walk very slowly down. Do it very slowly. Now your in you're basement, nice and safe. What's that? The basement door opened! Uh oh! Go run to the back of the basement. You're trapped! You hear footsteps! Oh no! You're done for! Wait, whats that poking you in the back? Ohh its a door knob! Quick open it! Now go in, shut it, and lock it.
It is very dark in here but there is a lantern right by your feet. Turn it on and look around. You have never seen this room before. There are many old family historic items here and you'll learn alot about your history by looking around. Apparantly every member of your family died here in this house because of a curse! You can learn more about this later.
A Little Girl[edit | edit source]
For now, you need to go back up! The audience is getting awefully bored of watching you read HOW people die instead of actually dying yourself. So you're going to need to open the door. Do it very slowly and poke your head out. Look around and make sure everything is safe. All clear? Okay step out and close the door and take a few steps. Slowly walk through your basement towards the stairs...easy does it.
AHH LIGHTNING! Shit! Did you see that? You didn't? Watch when the lightning strikes again. Right in front of that pile of paper! THERE it did it again! Every time lightning strikes a little black haired girl is standing there! But when the lightning fades she is gone! I don't know why but that right there has to be the creepiest shit I have ever seen! Well go upstairs quick! When you're back your going to need to...HOLY MOLIE! The lights just went out! Be calm. It just means they are about to really come after you. Quick go to the kitchen!
To the Kitchen![edit | edit source]
Go slowly to your hallway and walk down it! The storm outside is really picking up! The lightning is going crazy now! It is striking every three seconds! Are you in your hallway now? Okay good now take a few steps down! AH! There's the girl again! Everytime the lightning strikes she is there! And what's worst is she is walking right towards you! Uh oh! She isn't stopping! She is getting closer! Closer! CLOSER! She is right at your toes and is looking up at you! She looks like she is about to cry! AHHHHHH!...What's that? The storm stopped? Thank goodness.
Walk slowly down the hallway and into the kitchen. Is that a quarter on the floor? Don't go down to get it! NO! Don't! OH GOD NO! Ok you went down to get it but don’t stand up because when you look up something REALLY scary will be there! NO! Don’t!!!!
The Surprise![edit | edit source]
Wtf...Casper…seriously…Casper…wow…im done. I set this whole thing up and the scariest thing the movie gives is Fucking Casper the Fuckin Friendly Ghost…ok…done…bye.
Oh by the way that was your girlfriend at the door, you invited her over remember? And she is pissed so she called you and said she is breaking up with you. The second call was the electrician, saying that they are turning off your electricity until you talk to them about why you didn't pay your bill this month. That's why your lights are off. Oh and how did I die? Your pet monkey got me. Yup, that’s it. Fuck you Casper!