Noun[edit | edit source]
1. Schlong (sve.), male reproductive organ, named after Arthur D. Clarke Schlong (1774–1843), who is unanimously agreed to be the inventor of the latter. Schlong was born in Sweden as the only child of a donkey breeder. He attended school in Gothenburg (or somewhere else) and [...] (that´s enough of that thank you!). See "Schlong Song" in Worst 100 Songs of All Time for modern vernacular usage.
2. Schlong (sve.), male reproductive organ, also known as the "Rolls-Royce" of reproductive organs. In its natural and normal state, the inflated and pressurized Schlong (referred to as a Schwing-Schlong) is approx. 2' (0.6096 meters) in length and 3" (7.62 cm) in diameter. Weight between 6 lb (2.72155422 kg) and 8 lb (3.62873896 kg). The average Schlong has an Ejaculatory Capacity (CEj) of up to 85,000 times during the normal male lifespan, the equivalent of a standard bucketload (1.0753654 hogsheads). Scientific investigations have proven that the daily male CEj increases exponentially with age, and a direct correlation exists between a decrease of CEj with age and amount of nipple hair.
Verb[edit | edit source]
3. Schlong (sve), to, verb, derived from the swedish "Slöngga" (to mow one´s lawn at great pace with extreme tenacity in a Stockholm-style pattern). First used by Leslie A. McGaffiter in the (June 5th) 1816 congregation of the Scottish National Parliament: "[...]now let´s all schlong together!". Correct grammatical declination (UK): I/You/We/They Schlong; He/She/It Schlongs etc... Colloquially used in the US as an expression of anguish over J.R.´s unforseen death in "Dallas" (see episode guide for more information). Used for something else in UK, but I´ve forgotten...
Pronoun[edit | edit source]
1. Schlongs, the, wacky Hungarian cartoon characters loosely based on the Smurfs. Also use similar type of verb-replacing vernacular, e.g. "Hey Papa Schlong, shall we schlong at the river? Or shall we just schlong here?", "I think I´ll just go and schlong with Schlongette. She likes schlonging, maybe she´ll schlong a little schlong with me."
Alternate usage[edit | edit source]
1. Horse Schlong, another name for a Chicago hotdog, eaten by strange Counter-Strike nerds who glow in the dark from their constant masturbation to the nuclear glow of their screen.
2. Military Schlong, also known as projecting power this amazing development typically results in malhorse operating room visits and is an essence that mean want decompression therapy. If it weren't this way and fell down on the grass it would just be a potential subject.
3. Schleung, an alternative version of Schlong used in the 1982 film Deadly Drifter.