UnNews:Mr. Potato Head completes gender transition
March 2, 2021
LOS ANGELES, CA — A spokesperson for Mr. Potato Head announced that the famed movie star has just completed a gender transition and will now be called Ms. Potato Head. Ms. Potato Head reportedly began taking estrogen over a year ago, and on Monday, March 1 she underwent gender reassignment surgery to remove her iconic mustache. The procedure was performed by celebrity doctor Andrew Wakefield and was completed in just over four hours. Ms. Potato Head's spokesperson said that her recovery is going swimmingly and she should be able to return home from the hospital by the end of the week.
Many other trans celebrities have offered their praise and support, including actor Elliot Page, Olympic racecar driver Caitlyn Jenner, and parking spot enthusiast Alec Baldwin. Baldwin tweeted, "Ms. Potato Head has always been a woman, regardless of whether or not she had hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery, which are still both totally important and necessary."
Ms. Potato Head's family has also been very supportive of her transition. Her wife, Mrs. Potato Head, released the following statement:
“Well, it would be completely transphobic of me to stop loving my spouse just for being who she is. So, yeah, I'm on board. Let's get freaky! This might be kinda fun!”
Ms. and Mrs. Potato Head's son, Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield, also expressed his support, saying "She taught me how to throw a football and take a knee and do my own eyeliner, I'll always love my father."
Ms. Potato Head's agent has said that the actress is looking forward to getting back to work, and several of her frequent collaborators have said that they're excited to get back on the set with her. Director Zack Snyder told UnNews, "Ms. Potato Head's greatest strength has always been her versatility and the wide range of characters she's capable of playing. I've always admired her passionate devotion to her roles, often temporarily altering her body to get the look for the part just right. I’m sure that her transition, which doesn’t change anything, will have no impact on her acting skills and marketability, and I already have several ideas for involving her in my next project, a black-and-white silent film adaptation of Teletubbies."
Ms. Potato Head's agent said that the actress is also planning on branching out into other fields, including cooking, sewing, and competitive sports. Ms. Potato Head is reportedly very eager to try her hand at wrestling, boxing, and mixed martial arts. Unfortunately, not everyone has been so supportive of this endeavor. Outspoken transphobe women's rights activist J.K. Rowling tweeted, "If that spud, with his XY chromosomes and his visibly throbbing masculinity, is allowed to compete in women’s sports, the lived reality of women globally is erased." Rowling is facing hefty backlash for her tweet. Trans rights activists have criticized her for not recognizing trans women as women, and tuber rights activists have criticized her use of the pejorative "spud".
While Rowling's comments are considered by many to be insensitive, they have undoubtedly sparked greater interest in the perhaps important discussion about whether or not trans women should be allowed to play sports. Thomas Bach, the president of the International Olympic Committee, said, "We intend to settle this ridiculous debate once and for all. We will allow Ms. Potato Head to compete in the women's flyweight boxing competition this summer in Tokyo, and if she fails to win even a bronze medal, then that will definitively prove that trans women have no advantage in sports.”
Sources[edit | edit source]
- MrX, "Mr. Potato Head drops the mister, sort of" Associated Press, February 25, 2021
