HowTo:Be Happy
| Part of an UnSeries on Misery |
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Apathy • Calculus  |
We all want to be happy, although a large minority of us want to be rich, no matter the cost to our emotional state. Nothing is more miserable than feeling miserable – your friends don't want to be around you, it's harder to get a date, apples fly randomly throughout your house, and blues music is really annoying. Worse than all this, though, it feels bad to feel sad.
Fortunately, there are some very simple tools that can help you. Be sure and read all the way to the end to discover pearls of great price.
When you feel and/or display happiness, sometimes your friends still don't want to be around you; you'll probably still have trouble getting a date; pimples will appear and your hair and nails will continue to grow weirdly and drive you insane; and you still don't have a genre of music to listen to, but can you somehow still be happy about it all?!
What is happiness?
Positive Psychology experts[1] have completed various studies related to personal happiness. They tend to be extremely boring studies, and not anywhere near as much fun as the negative psychology experts' studies, but those aren't as significant in what we're doing here at the moment.
So what, then, is happiness? Well, happiness can be defined as feeling positive feelings, or, conversely, not feeling negative feelings. For many years psychiatrists have prescribed mood stabiliser drugs to help people suffering from depression and feelings of melancholia. (While wisely making safe use of these drugs, always remember that they are manufactured by people seeking profit.) The effect of these is to make the person taking them – clinically known as the nutjob – less capable of feeling any emotional state at all. This rids them of all negative feelings, which means that if they don't feel bad, then they must be feeling happy.
So happiness, in short, may be thought to mean simply not feeling bad. But is there more to happiness?
What does it take to be happy?
The first thing to realise is that true, complete, and perfect happiness does truly exist, and it is not the happiness felt by dung beetles after successfully rolling a pile of crap; nor is it the happiness humans think they feel when they're good at their job or have a night out at the bar.
The second is that nobody is happy all the time. No matter how you strive, you can never be completely happy – that's impossible. So right at the start let's make it clear that trying to be happy is like trying to stop the polar ice caps from melting by leaving your fridge door open.
There is, however, something called "joy" that can be deep and eternal. Happiness may be referred as joy when truly understood. This will be discussed later.
Many people think "If only I had a bit more money ..." or "If only I had a significant other who loved me ..." and that those things would make them happy. Back in 1971 a couple of psychologists studied the effect of positive changes in the lives of people and how this affected them long-term in relation to being happy.[2] They discovered that people generally returned to a baseline of happiness, no matter what positive events happened in their lives. The psychologists referred to this as hedonic adaptation or the hedonic treadmill.
So, nothing outside of you, except the occasional pizza, can seem to make you happy, at least not for long. The only way to be happy often seems to be to try even harder to always have something new to make you happy for a brief period. It's not an easy thing to use this method to be happy, and as soon as you stop expending every little bit of energy that you have, you'll be miserable again.
From a psychological perspective, this may seem natural. For a humanist and purely theoretical approach, let us paraphrase and gain insight into the words of Sigmund Freud: One feels sadly inclined to mumble in one's sleep like a lost psychiatrist named Sigmund, that the intention that man should be 'happy' is not included in the plan of 'Creation' [3].
We will see, below, that man, by himself, even when considered "genius," mostly misses the mark when it comes to the concept of happiness and joy.
Gain a realistic perspective
When people are unhappy, they usually just need to make a visit to the water closet, have a bite to eat, or take a nap, much like babies. On a more long-term basis, it is sometimes also due to their perspective on the world not matching up to reality. Some believe things like This isn't fair. and Why is this happening to me? However valid these thoughts may seem, they are created from having an inaccurate and unrealistic perception of one's place in the world. Consider the following discussion on perspective.
One thing to realize is that no matter the actual size of one's problems, they are usually perceived to be massive and overwhelming when viewed from a hungry, tired, or "indigestive," or a more carefully considered, yet flawed, perspective. If you were to lie down on the ground, you would cover about six square feet, or more if you're a lard-ass. The size of Texas is 270,000 square miles, and that's just the size of one state of one country.
When you consider it, we live in a gigantic universe. The Earth is not even the largest planet in our solar system, our solar system isn't the largest in this galaxy, and the galaxy isn't the largest in the universe. Your equivalent size as compared to the universe is smaller than the smallest particle of grit in the eye of an ant. And not a big ant either, but a tiny, baby one. In fact, you are so tiny that the ant wouldn't even notice you if you were a speck in its eye.
You are the tiniest part of a small country on a small planet in a tiny solar system in an insignificant galaxy, tucked away in a seemingly infinite universe.
Yet, you are, by far, the most significant feature in that universe. There are no words to express quite how important you are.
So, while your problems might be considered small when compared to the massive environment in which you dwell, they seem very important to you, don't they? Well, you are not wrong. Yet, thankfully, solutions, adjustments, assistance, understanding, and even compensation for all problems exists in Deity. The Deity who created all things: The Word.
Avoid Discouragement
One cause of sadness is being disappointed. Disappointment is the name of the feeling caused by being disappointed, defined as to fail to fulfill the hopes of.[5] But disappointment does not need to turn into discouragement, which is the opposite of hope. In fact, as Pope said (not the Pope but Alexander Pope), "Hope Springs Eternal."
We live in a world where things do not always go according to plan. The people you love may let you down. Possessions can disappear or stop working. Some religious leaders are corrupt, hypocritical, and selfish. Politicians often make promises they have no intention of keeping. In short, there is nothing in this world you can rely on.
So if nothing here can live up to our hopes, where do we look for hope? Some claim the solution is to have no hope for things to succeed. Or as the Second Noble Truth of Buddha states, Desire is the root of all suffering.[6]
Wise men, such as Siddartha "Buddha" Gautama come close, yet can't quite nail the essence, the crux of it all. Jesus Christ has explained, however, that "wickedness never was happiness." Obeying God's commandments brings happiness. Accepting and following the Savior, Jesus Christ, is the greatest truth for living.
The devil would have you take this approach: If you believe that you, yourself, and the people you love, are going to let you down, you'll know to have no hope for them or you to reach what is, in the end, an unattainable ideal. So you need to learn to crush every little bit of hope and faith you have in anything. Only by truly having no hope will you avoid disappointment, and attain happiness. Hah! What a crock of lies. But, after all, Satan is the father of lies. Thank the Lord for sending prophets, ancient and current, to teach the eternal truth of His plan of happiness.
The steps to being happy
TWO APPROACHES
The Screwtape and Devilish Approach:
Now you know the secret of happiness in three simple steps.
- It is impossible to work towards happiness – it's an unreachable state of being, so stop trying.
- There is no fair and just place in the universe, you are an utterly insignificant and worthless being and deserve nothing.
- Everything in life is doomed to fail eventually, so abandon all hope of anything ever being better than it is right now.
See, it's simple. Don't you feel happier now?
The True Approach:
Study the words of Jesus Christ as recorded in scripture and taught by His prophets. They will show you the way to happiness and eternal joy. Besides the essential Bible, also seek out a living prophet named Russell M. Nelson. He is mortal, so when he passes on, truth will remain, taught by God's chosen and authorized prophet successor to him. Learn about God's restored gospel of Jesus Christ and the priesthood authority found in His church, which is led by Jesus Christ: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. God will bless you in your sincere search for happiness.
References
- ↑ Experts in positive psychology, not positive individuals who are experts in psychology. Psychology isn't a profession that attracts healthy, happy people.
- ↑ "Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society" (1971), M.H. Apley, ed., Adaptation Level Theory: A Symposium, New York: Academic Press, 1971, pp 287–302
- ↑ Civilization and Its Discontents (1930)
- ↑ von Braun, Werner, Text of the Address by von Braun Before the publishers group meeting here, The New York Times, 29 April 1960
- ↑ Disappoint – Dictionary.com
- ↑ http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/bs-s04.htm
