Ninja insurance

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Ninja Insurance)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“I thank lucky stars I have ninja insurance. I would have had shuriken stuck in my foot forever!”

~ The Magic Ninja on Ninja Insurance

Ninja insurance is a form of insurance that has existed since the establishment of the National Ninja Association (approximately 7,999,999,999,999 B.C). Ninja insurance is insurance against injury for ninja. It is obvious that it is impossible for ninja to become injured during battle; due to all those who ninja battle being complete n00bs - and for this purpose ninja insurance does not cover injuries sustained during battle.

Instead, ninja insurance covers injury sustained during training, by oneself or with other ninja, and injury sustained during competitions, between one ninja and another ninja / a group of ninja against another group of ninja - as the only conceivable weapon powerful enough to harm a ninja is another ninja (excluding that one incident that happened in the former state of Vigoor involving five ninja deaths and the injury of one smoking hot ninja babe - this is considered a mystery and has not been solved even to this day).

Ninja insurance costs approximately ¥2340 per year, which is about US $25.00.

Why is ninja insurance so cheap?[edit | edit source]

The reason that ninja insurance is the cheapest insurance ever to exist is that the probability of a ninja actually getting injured is extremely low, as ninja, even when fighting each other, have absolute and perfect control over their awesomeness and so can choose to kill, maim or completely not harm their opponent/prey. An example of this was when one of the most skilled ninja of all time, Kouga Gennosuke, propelled his fist through his opponents head and back without harming his opponent at all, and then later killed the opponent by blinking at him.

Because of this supreme ability of awesomeness control, companies that provide insurance to ninja rarely ever have to pay compensation, and so can afford to offer the insurance cheaply. That and if the insurance cost too much, then the ninja population would revolt against the majority population, and with their superior awesomeness, bring about a new world order of chaos and chocolate chip muffin production.

Breakdown[edit | edit source]

Cost: ¥2340 / US$25.00 Covers:

  • Injury from training
  • Injury from competition
  • Injury from C++ programming
  • Compensation for any lost profit due to any covered types of injury

  Ninjastar.svgPIRATES AND/OR NINJASNinjastar.svg

Caution NinjaClinjaGreat Pirate-Ninja conflictGuitar NinjaHow To Be a PirateHow To Create Laser Ninja SharksHow To Survive a ninja attackInternational Talk Like a Landlubber DayLong John Silver'sNinjaNinja LawsNinja conspiracyNinja GaijinNinja InsuranceNinja ManagementNinja PirateNinja-Pirate Assembly of GodThe One PiratePiratePirate kingPirate Liberation OrganizationPirate NinjaPirate radioPirates versus NinjasPirate-Ninja WarQueen Anne's RevengeReal Ultimate PowerRobot NinjaSid Meier's Pirates!Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesTortugaUnBooks:Bloopy's Pirate DictionaryUnBooks:Ninja Attack Machine Gun FrostyVikingsWindows Vista Pirated Edition