Extreme Hide and Seek

“Haha, you still havent found me.”

~ Dr. Joseph Mengele on a postcard to Elie Wiesel

“Shit, you found me. OK, now you hide.”

~ Osama bin Laden, talking to Seal Team 6 member Jerry

“I am winning!”

~ Amelia Earnhart on Extreme Hide and Seek

“I don't like this game.”

~ Anne Frank on Extreme Hide and Seek

Extreme Hide and Seek (EHS) is an extreme sport in which people hide in an extreme or strange locations and wait to be sought. Locations include Belgium, Fridges, TV Cabinets, Wardrobes, nuclear plants and in a goat. Extreme Hide and Seekers take their sport extremely seriously.

The Seekmaster General

The Rules

• Agree on a time frame for one person to hide and for another to count and seek.
• Nominate a person to hide. They shall be known as The Fugitive.
• Nominate a person to seek. They shall be known as Seekmaster General.
• The Fugitive goes and hides in an obscure place, usually among the cast of MADtv.
• After the agreed time limit has been reached the Seekmaster General starts the seeking procedure.
• Once the Fugitive has been found the game is over.

How it all started

Hello? Elvis??

Extreme Hide and Seek was first played in Biblical times with Noah of Noah's Ark fame. Historians have proven that there wasn't a flood inundating the Earth, but rather a large wet game of Extreme Hide and Seek being played.

Moses was a keen Seekmaster General. Who can forget the now infamous Red Sea incident when hiding from Pharaoh?

EHS champion

Not counting Hide and Go Jesus, Waldo is the best. He is so good that the government regularly takes pictures of plaes where he is likely to go, like a zoo, or back in time. People then participate in finding Waldo. On the plus side, Waldo generated massive profits by selling the "Where's Waldo" books. When he is finally found scientists will explore other ways to keep the search going. See also: The 2011 book "Where's Waldo?: The path to Mental Health."

Famous Matches

Hide and Seek World Champion 1942-1944

• Eliot Ness v. Al Capone. Well played match ended with Ness' "tax dodge" gambit.

• "Iron Man" Joe Stalin v. "Girly Man" Adolph "Call me Al" Hitler. A textbook example of the "ten army divisions" maneuver.

• Stanley v. Dr. Livingston. One of the early "friendlies".

• Fox Mulder v. the Truth. The Split decision is out there.

• Vladimir and Estragon v. Godot. One of the few matches where the Fugitive may score an overwhelming victory. The match is still ongoing.

• George W. Bush/Barack Obama/Tony Blair v. Osama bin Laden. Found and then hid again. The clock has been reset.

• Gestapo v. Anne Frank. Found after a rollicking good chase.

• SETI v. E.T. Ongoing.

• Everyone v. Waldo. Undecided.

• U.S Government v. Amelia Earnhart. Ongoing, past the 70 year halftime mark

• Everyone v. Madeleine McCann. Ongoing.

E X T R E M E

Extreme Ball Association × Extreme Baseball × Extreme Bath Snorkeling × Extreme Beach Chess × Extreme Bingo × Extreme Deep Sea Sky Diving × Extreme Fishing × Extreme Golf × Extreme Hide and Seek × Extreme Hunting × Extreme Ironing × Extreme Jenga × Extreme mathematics × Extreme Olympics × Extreme Paranormal × Extreme Piano Playing × Extreme Ping-Pong × Extreme programming × Extreme Sarcasm × Extreme Stamp Licking × Extreme Surfing × Extreme Teabagging × Extreme Tiddley-Winks × Extreme Twister × Extreme Warfare Battleground × Extreme Water Polo