Josh Staines
The MI6 agent Josh Staines, better known as Josef Stalin, was a British spy made-up by the fashit British King George VI to destroy the true commieism. Idiots that follow Stalin, a fake and a spy serving the British Crown, are real turds. Monarchists laugh seeing millions of stalinist goats thinking that Vissarionovič Džugašvili is the commieist light. WELL DONE, douchebags! Joe is a malicious MI6 agent: open your eyes before it's too late!
Proofs that Stalin is the MI6 agent Josh Staines[edit | edit source]
- Stalin killed a saint, prophet, great leader and hope for the humanity (TROTSKY) with a pickaxe: only a British pervert could kill somebody with a pickaxe!
- Stalin's mother said: "So, you become the new CSAR?" He said "YES" and no one British lies to his mom. So, he restored the monarchy and confirmed it to his mummy!
- Stalin used to eat people with hair grease as sauce. British cuisine is shit, only Brits can eat their britmade poop cuisine and survive.
- Stalin's (fake) birth country was Georgia. A clear tribute to King George VI.
- So, Stalin was from Georgia on my mind, huh. Georgia is a US state, USA is the British favourite kid.
- Stalin recognized Mussolini's fashit government: only him and Churchill. A case? We don't think so!
- Stalin expanded USSR after an agreement with Hitler. Only George VI, the Brithis king, loved Hitler! A case? We don't think so!
- Stalin wasn't a gentleman with women, but a true serial killer. The British are well known worldwide to be the falsest gentlemen of mankind history. Don't think so? Ask to British colonies as the Chagos Islands, ask about the Chagossian Holocaust.
- Stalin expanded his colonial empire. What was the largest colonial empire in that period? The BRITISH one!
- Stalin, from the late 20s to the 50s, governed in Moscow. You can think we are talkin' bout the Russian capital, but its name is Москва, at least Moskva. It is only a Moscow on Earth, and is a village in India. And what was India during Stalin's government? a British colony! A case? We don't think so! And... after Stalin's death, India "casually" gained independence.
- Stalin's (fake) birthplace was the town of Gori. If you write Gori in Georgian (გორი), in Russian (Гори), and mix 'em up, you'll read Гგоოрრиი: a cryptic transcription for Stalin's real birthplace: Middlesbrough! And Middlesbro is in England!
- As said above, Stalin's birthplace was Gori. Take a look to Gori's flag: a clear piece of the Union Jack, with a key too!
- Stalin created the Leninade: passed off as a revolutionary socialist drink, it was actually a typical English soft and shitty drink. To burp better and make armchair hooliganism, enjoy Leninade!
In British Russia, you pish-posh Stalin[edit | edit source]
How was the life in British USSR? Mr. Staines, to bear the distance from his motherland (UK), transformed the Soviet Union into the Great Britain:
- He changed the anthem from "The Internationale" to "Soyuz Neurushimi", a martial march saying Rule Sovetska, Armija rule the wawes! Russians never will be slaves!
- He built the Moscow Metro: only a city in the world had a subway in the 30s: London!
- To have a little taste of Norn Iron, he invented the Kaliningrad Oblast: a piece of detached Russian land clearly part of the SSR Lithuania but... So Nornish Ironish as a detached piece of Russia.
- He filled the entire USSR with Pobeda-something parks, avenues, monuments, trains, towns, cars. Победа, meaning "victory" in Russian, is a clear reference to the Queen Victoria and to Churchill's V sign.
- In the 30s, he spread British cuisine throughout the whole country... So, that's why lots of Russians died in the 30s.
- He changed capital city name from Москва to Moscow, a typical English toponym, as Wigan or Barrow.
- He tried to restore Leningrad's old name, Petersburg, a clear reference to Peterborough. While he was thinking how to do it, the city was besieged by nazi turds.
Back in the USSR? No, in the UK[edit | edit source]
In 1953 Stalin/Staines, in the apex of homesickness, simulated his death to come back to England, using a KGB-made false passport. He used the fake name of William Campbell, an anonymous policeman of Canadian origin, but... Accustomed to the orgy of power and to the mesmerized crowds, in 1967 he cut his moustaches, killed Paul McCartney and took his place.
Some years later, following his atavistic instinct of alpha male and serial killer, did the same thing he did against Trotsky. He hired a mercenary, not Ramón Mercader but Mark David Chapman, and assassinated the new commieist hope and his direct and brightest competitor: John Lennon. In 2001 he poisoned George Harrison, meanwhile he promoted Ringo Starr to Head of the NKVD (saying nothing to him).
As witnessed by Linda McCartney, just a week before her mysterious death: Paul was a weird man. For example, he happily joined PETA with me, but he was pesuaded to have joined the "People for Ethnocleansing Treatment of Anybody". So, nowadays, when you see or listen Paul McCartney, you know he's the 140 years old and immortal Josh "Stalin" Staines, tyrant of all the Soviet Russias.
Referenced proofs[edit | edit source]
- Mulder, Fox: The Truth Is Out There. Lone Gunmen Press, Arlington, VA. ISBN 666-999
See the proofs[edit | edit source]
External proofs[edit | edit source]
- Josh Staines article on Wikipedia