Guilty Gear

Guilty Gear is a series of combat simulators designed to appeal to anime fans and metalheads as well as combat the popular Street Fighter franchise. The first game released on the Playstation in 1998, but people were too busy spamming hadouken to notice it. Due to the lack of attention it received it only became a cult-hit, much like Kool Aid.

Guilty Gear throughout the years

Guilty Gear not borrowing from Mortal Kombat

Guilty Gear initially released on the Playstation in 1998, but many people passed on the game due to its difficulty and intriguing aesthetics. The graphics stayed true to the largely popular 2D format, but it gave a heavy metal twist to certain design aspects such as the stages and character designs. One character who displays these atypical traits is Axl Low, a time-traveling vocalist. His attacks revolve around the utilization of unbearably high-pitched vocals. The game had a rather convoluted story line, which required many means of elaboration. The Guilty Gear story line however has surfaced and clarified due to accompanying merchandise such as novels, sequels, drama CDs, and blankets. The sequel (Guilty Gear X) released in 2000 on the Sega Dreamcast, and is widely regarded as a vast improvement in story line and gameplay. Furthermore, some believe that it rivals popular fighting games such as Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and Pokemon. However, the developers decided that one X was not enough, so they released Guilty Gear XX on the Playstation 2. Despite being a new release, the game had some slight differences from its predecessor. A notable addition is a cheat that gives you thirty lives (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start). Also, a few more characters joined the fight including Akuma, Sub-Zero, and Martin Luther King Jr. Lastly, the characters no longer beat up on one another, but instead partake in rap battles. Spin-offs have come and gone (including an RPG and a First-person shooter), but there have been no significant titles in the fighting game series since XX.

Gameplay in the first two games

An example of the super combo in Guilty Gear

The gameplay throughout the series is original and similar to no other fighting games of the time. The player selects a character and enters a sequence of battles, eventually arriving at a boss battle. The fight set-up is three rounds, where the victor of two wins the match. During the fight, one fills a "tension gauge" to perform chaos attacks. Another maneuver that aids in injuring the opponent is an aerial combo, a feature that was never in Marvel Vs. Capcom... ever. The last significant type of move is a destroy attack, which effectively ends the battle in a dramatic way when used.

Gameplay in Guilty Gear XX

Instead of performing combos, the characters fill a "serve meter" as they rap. The first to fill the "serve meter" wins the battle. XX has received some updates akin to the Street Fighter II series, which only received enough updates and new editions to fill a garage. Some of the updates include an additional bonus stage in which you shoot up a car until it is rendered useless.

Story

Guilty Gear

The first game takes place in the year 20XX. In 20XX, the United Nations is scrambling to bring peace and stability to a world facing an apocalyptic threat. Japan has been destroyed by a giant robot named Justice. The members of the U.N. eventually decide that holding a tournament of fighters is a better course of action than placing a collective military attack on the rebels, Testament and Justice (both carry the power to destroy the world and all of its puppies). Eventually a Walmart cashier by the name Sol Blackguy defeats the two insurgents when he accidentally points the handheld scanner at them, causing them to explode and release candy for the children. He later finds out Justice and Testament were created by a mysterious figure only known as "Dat Nigga", who had them blow up Japan to rid the world of anime, including Blackguy's favorite show, Naruto. He swears to find and kill Dat Nigga and avenge Naruto.

Guilty Gear X

Blackguy heading to work during a cutscene

Guilty Gear X progresses the story after Blackguy's heroic effort. Just when the world begins to settle from the last two villains, an evil commander named Dizzy enters the picture. She does not desire pointless killing and war, but Kofi Annan in all of his wisdom decides to place a $500,000 reward on her death, or a reward of bubble gum and a pat on the back for her injury. One night, Dizzy is in the process of brushing her teeth when she realizes that she has no more toothpaste. Her decision is clear mostly due to the fact that no store aside from walmart is open past 10:00pm: she has to make a run to Wally World. She proceeds to find a bottle of Crest Whitening Gel and then makes her way to the nearest cash register. The only person on a register (due to Walmart's extreme overstaffing) is Sol Blackguy, and he is tired from working a twenty-four hour shift. After hours of waiting, Dizzy finally makes it to the register. The scanning process goes fine, but the toothpaste rings up a dollar more than the listed price. So as to avoid any conflict he decides to override it to the listed price. However, he somehow divides by zero in the process of changing the price. When his register finds a way to divide by zero, it fires a laser as a result. This supercharged laser blasts Dizzy into an unknown dimension while failing to cause any other destruction. Kofi Annan then decides afterward that being sent into another dimension qualifies as death, so he awards Badguy the $500,000.

Guilty Gear XX

A screenshot of the gameplay in Guilty Gear XX

Sol Blackguy decides to do what every African American would do with $500,000: he starts a record company in Brooklyn. However, he is at a loss about who his main rapper will be: Tupac and Biggie are taking a hiatus in Djibouti, Jay-Z is too busy pursuing Foxy Cleopatra, and Miley Cyrus is in the midst of an identity crisis. While throwing some beats, he realizes what he must do to find the best rapper: hold a rap battle tournament. Many partake in the battle, but the final showdown comes between Akuma and Martin Luther King Jr. Akuma starts off strong, spamming hado-urmoms, but Martin Luther King stands his ground. ML-Keezy then responds with a lyrical version of his wet dream involving all of Akuma's ancestors and how he went about realizing it. ML-Keezy emerges as the victor by a hair, and is immediately pronounced the face of the record label. However, ML-Keezy's first record Chillin on the Motel Balcony does not sell well, and thus prompts Blackguy to join ML-Keezy in the creation of his music. They then decide that they should name the band, and with the help of the Sizzurperfriends they decided the name should be "De La Sol."

Gameplay Footage from Guilty Gear XX

Unfortunately this doesn't last long, as ML-Keezy is assassinated by Zako-One on the US government's orders. He then gets consumed by the shadow and starts slowly dying. His ex girlfriend Millia finishes him off. Venom tries to stop her but he is unable since he can't see.

After ML-Keezy's funeral, Sol begins searching for Dat Nigga. He finds out his bottom bitch U-No has been framing random Japanese people for crimes such as bombing Pearl Harbor, possessing loli hentai, and jaywalking. He tracks them down and defeats U-No, but Dat Nigga escapes into another dimension.

Blazblue

One day the developers got it into their head that not making any more installments, and releasing a new series with crappier versions of the characters from the previous series, as well as removing the content for Metalheads, was a good idea, and would totally not drive fans away. Low and behold, Blazblue was released, and some Guilty Gear fans are still mad.

Guilty Gear 2: Electric Boogaloo

After a gas leak at ArcSys HQ, the developers forgot Guilty Gear is a fighting game, and instead made an action/RTS hybrid. They also forgot that they were making the fourth game in the series, not the second.

The story begins a few years later with the UN holding a raffle to select the next king of France after the entire royal family was eaten by hippos while on a safari. Ky Quiche wins, but shortly into his reign France is invaded by an army of goths. Ky calls Sol to help him fight them off. After arriving in Paris, Sol is jumped by the goths, who overpower him but he is saved by Kanye West. The two record a song together about being African-Americans in Paris. At Ky's castle, Sol learns that Ky went into Dizzy's dimension a few years ago to get with her after realizing she had no access to shaving products in there. Their son Sin got kidnapped by the goths because he can open a cube that can alter reality in a their dimension or some shit. They go into that dimension and Sol fights the leader of the goths, Valentine, who looks just like his high school girlfriend who died of a peanut allergy. Fortunately he packed a PB&J sandwich for lunch, which he throws at her and kills her. Dat Nigga shows up, Sol tries to fight him but can't damage him at all, so he settles for challenging him to a rap battle instead. As they return to their home dimension Dat Nigga warns Sol that the goths were just the beginning, as the real enemy is... the Juggalos.

List of significant Guilty Gear characters

• Sol Blackguy (first appearance: Guilty Gear)-A Walmart employee that saves the world multiple times through his valiant performance as a cashier.

• Ky Quiche (first appearance: Guilty Gear)- A French asshole that keeps picking fights with Sol at his Walmart. In Guilty Gear 2 he becomes king of France.
• Axl Rose (first appearance:Guilty Gear)- A time traveling vocalist who seeks to be the best fighter, the best there ever was using the power of his shrill voice. He can effectively stun his enemies with notes previously thought unreachable. He later suffers of "timeskips" Faust discovers that its just memory loss due to braindamage caused by drugs. Assumed to be Axl Rose's mentally-deificient third cousin.

• May (first appearance:Guilty Gear)- She is a pirate who wields the strength to carry the Titanic's anchor while being ten times smaller than it. Also, she is loosely tied with the Bikini Bottoms Brigade (a movement to purge Bikini Bottoms of all anthropomorphic beings) Picking her will get you in jail for using minors.

• Testament (first appearance:Guilty Gear)- As one of the final bosses of the original Guilty Gear, he is a far more detailed version of Sephiroth who wields an axe rather than a katana. He also happens to carry the ability to destroy the world at his whim. Disappears from the series for 20 years until returning in Strive, where he stopped being evil after taking estrogen pills and getting into Gundam.

• Justice (first appearance: Guilty Gear)- Justice is the other final boss of the original. She is a female decepticon who much like her co-villain wields the slight ability to destroy Earth and all of mankind, probably one of the few female with a giant metal dick.

• Dr. Baldhead (first appearance: Guilty Gear)- Yes, Dr. Baldhead, putting a paper bag over your head wont fool anyone >:(

• Chipp Zanuff (first appearance: Guilty Gear)- The junkie ninja president of South Africa. Yes, really.
• Zako One... Sorry, I meant Zeto One... Or was it Taco One? Eddie (first appearance: Guilty Gear)- A freak who has psychotic problems with his shadow. Very strange one, that Zako. Is dead.
• Zako Two (first appearance: Guilty Gear Xrded)- An autistic clone of Zako One created by the illuminati so that the 4 people who liked playing as the original could still play as him.
• Venom (first appearance: Guilty Gear X)- A pool player who is massively gay for Zako. Since Zako is a major racist, Venom has to hide the fact that he is black by growing out his bangs to cover his entire face. He fights with billiards and a cue, but since he can't see through all the hair in his face he is terrible at playing pool. In Xrded, he starts dating a robot and randomly develops godlike magical abilities that he uses to murder a coma patient.
• Dizzy (first appearance: Guilty Gear X)- Justice's daughter and Ky's wife. Despite her appearance, she is only eight years old.
• Slaver (first appearance: Guilty Gear XX)- a Scottish vampire lord who operates a child slave ring that trains orphans to murder people for him, but he got bored of it and married an immortal woman who he can suck off as much as he wants.
• Dat Nigga (first appearance: Guilty Gear XX)- Sol Blackguy's mysterious nemesis. He created Justice and the other gears to blow up Japan and rid the world of anime. No one knows his face but he has the deep voice of a black man, until the big plot twist at the end of Xrded where he is revealed to be a white catboy named Oskar Kraut.
• U-No (first appearance: Guilty Gear XX)- Dat Nigga's bottom bitch, a time traveling guitarist witch.
• Sin Quiche (first appearance: Guilty Gear 2)- Ky and Dizzy's son and the world's buffest 3 year old. They named him "Sin" because he was born out of wedlock. He lost his eye in a freak Nerf gun accident.
• Valentine (first appearance: Guilty Gear 2)- a goth clone of Sol's high school girlfriend who died of a peanut allergy. Created by the Juggalo Pope.
• Ariel aka Juggalo Pope (first appearance: Guilty Gear Xrded)- The first female pope, and more importantly, the first Juggalo pope. She tried to wipe out all non-Juggalos, but was stopped by Sol Blackguy.
• Bedjamin B. Bedman (first appearance: Guilty Gear Xrded)- A psychic coma patient with Freddy Krueger powers. The Juggalo Pope built him a mechanized bed and convinced him that he can get away with murder for shits and giggles. Dies after his fight with Venom after Ariel tells him that the people he killed won't just get better.
• Anji Mito (first appearance: Guilty Gear X)- The local homosexual.

See also

• Street Fighter
• Mortal Kombat
• Original
• Rap
• Soul Calibur
• Duke Nukem