Grand Theft Auto: Television City
Grand Theft Auto: Television City is the newest installment of the Grand Theft Auto series. This game takes place in and around CBS Television City in Los Angeles. You play as game show deity Bob Barker in a quest for respect, animal rights and game show superiority. You are helped along the way by trusty sidekicks Rich Fields, Roger Dobkowitz and Kathy "Fingers" Greco as you take on Pat Sajak, Alex Trebek, Happy Gilmore, Samoan contestants and everyone else who stands in the way of your goals.
Introduction[edit | edit source]
It's not easy being on top. Bob Barker certainly knows this. As the World's Greatest Master of Ceremonies, everyone wants a piece of Bob and his greatness.
Rival game show hosts seek to conquer him and the ratings.
People opposed to animal rights want to abuse him the same way they abuse animals.
A crazy hockey player-turned-golfer wants revenge for being defeated at Bob's hands.
Bob decides it's time to chew bubblegum and kick ass... except he's all out of bubblegum.
Take control of the television legend as you seek to strengthen your hold, wipe out your enemies, and acquire more money and Barker's Beauties.
Fight rival gangs and work with your trusted allies to take over the game show industry once and for all, and prove to those who dare to oppose you that while the price may be right, their price is wrong... BITCH!
The Price Gang[edit | edit source]
Bob Barker[edit | edit source]
Superhuman game show legend, and head of the Price gang. Bob hosts the timeless game show The Price Is Right by day, and uses the staff and studio as a base for his operations for game show supremecy and to wipe out his enemies.
While Bob seems warm and lovable on TV, he is a dangerous man when crossed. He has been known to break people in two, thanks to the karate skills taught to him by Chuck Norris.
Tired of the love and praise heaped upon rival game show hosts, Happy Gilmore's golf success, and people who refuse to spay and neuter their pets, Bob begins a rampage to make the world a better place for pets... and the Price gang.
As this game is a realistic portrayal of the almighty Bob, Bob is indestructable. Cars - and even tanks - explode if they run into him. Bullets bounce off him. And punching him will only piss him off even worse.
(Note: If you wish to play this game unrealistically, and make Bob mortal, you must enter the cheat code "THEPRICEISWRONGBITCH". However, Bob is watching, and will punish you someday by throwing angry cats that are in heat on you when your sleeping.)
Bob is also famous for shouting out "The price is right, bitch!", "Now you've had enough, bitch!", "What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" and "Yippie kay-yay, motherfucker!" after wasting his enemies.
Rich Fields[edit | edit source]
Bob's announcer, and new protege. Bob is teaching Rich everything he knows so he can take over the Price gang some day - so that Bob can finally retire in about a decade.
Rich attainted his current position after assassinating Rod Roddy, as revenge for Rod's assassination of Rich's hero Johnny Olson.
Rich, like Johnny, is unfailingly loyal to Bob, and is more than happy to learn from the master until he is given his oppotunity to run the Price gang.
Rich accompanies Bob on some missions, and helps run Bob's car-boosting ring - where they keep the cars they like, and give the rest away on The Price Is Right.
Roger "The Dob" Dobkowitz[edit | edit source]
Bob's right-hand man, and producer of The Price Is Right. Roger is the second most powerful member of the Price gang - despite that, he too is faithful to Bob and no threat to try to overthrow him.
The Dob is the mastermind behind some of Bob's plans, and some of the most evil pricing game setups you'll ever see on the show. Most of his plans are fool-proof, which has inspired fans and enemies alike to shout out "Can't stop The Dob!" after yet another success.
Roger also gives Bob some of his side-missions.
Kathy "Fingers" Greco[edit | edit source]
Assistant to Roger (both on the show and in the crime family), and perhaps the most ruthless and psychotic member of the Price gang.
"Fingers" is rumored to have earned her nickname by chopping the fingers off of people who are captured by Bob (according to the rumors, she has thousands of fingers hanging on her walls), and her favorite hobby is feeding people to gators while she dances. She also enjoys torturing people after chaining them to a secret X.
"Fingers", as well as aiding Roger, also provides weapons to Bob through the game.
Marty Wagner[edit | edit source]
Longtime CBS cameraman and an expert on what's going down in the scene. He gives Bob rampages to complete during the game.
Barker's Beauties[edit | edit source]
Bob's personal harem. Bob got his start pimping them out, but now that's he rich and powerful, he refuses to share them with anyone, and has vowed to destroy anyone who tries to touch them.
Bob declares war later in the game after another game show host tries to help himself to them.
Chuck Dukas[edit | edit source]
Head of the CBS Page gang (who are loyal allies to the Price gang). Chuck and his pages help defend the turf around Television City, and collect protection money from the nearby businesses.
Chuck accompanies Bob on a few missions.
CBS Interns[edit | edit source]
These guys are the peons, they walk around in their red suit jackets hoping to get the chance to even speak to Bob. You can waste as many as possible and take their money, because they just keep on appearing.
Enemies[edit | edit source]
Anti-PETA (aka ATEP)[edit | edit source]
A rival gang that encourages eating meat, wearing leather and furs, and using animals for research. Bob quickly declares war on them, vowing to give them all a hole in one (or two).
Samoans[edit | edit source]
A minor gang who merely annoy Bob by picking him up every chance they get. Bob finally snaps and takes them on after a Samoan picks him up and knocks two hairs out of place.
Pat Sajak[edit | edit source]
Host of Wheel Of Fortune, and head of the Wheel Watchers gang. Earned a place on Bob's shit list after he became successful and stole Vanna White from his harem. Bob and his Big Wheel eventually square off with Sajak in a bloody showdown.
Alex Trebek[edit | edit source]
Host of Jeopardy!, and head of the Daily Double gang. He, too, is targeted by Bob. Eventually, Bob kicks Trebek in his daily doubles and gives him a punishment far worse than death - an eternity on Celebrity Jeopardy! with Sean Connery.
Howie Mandel[edit | edit source]
Host of Deal Or No Deal who tries to horn in on Bob's business by starting his own harem. Dumb enough decision. But, quickly draws the ire of Bob by trying to steal some of his Beauties for his harem. Bob and Howie eventually battle to the death.
Regis Philbin[edit | edit source]
Arch enemy and host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Bob declares war on him after Regis tells a contestant "I've never heard the name Bob Barker before."
David Letterman[edit | edit source]
Host of the Late Show with David Letterman
Paul Shaffer[edit | edit source]
Band Leader of the Paul Shaffer Orchestra on the Late Show with David Letterman
Alan Kalter[edit | edit source]
Announcer of the Late Show with David Letterman
Katie Couric[edit | edit source]
A reporter for CBS News. She replaced Dan Rather in September 2006 after he was fired in November 2004. She loves to interrupt The Price is Right with "CBS News Special Reports" so much that Bob suspects her to be a bitch of...
George W. Bush[edit | edit source]
Currently the President of the United States. For whatever reason, he just loves to hold press conferences at 11:00 A.M. on the White House's Rose Garden, causing preemptions of The Price is Right in the Eastern and Central time zones. He is the head of the NeoCon Gang, and his understudies include Katie Couric, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O' Reilly, and Ann Coulter, as well as his staff. It is unknown why he likes 11:00 A.M. or what Bob Barker ever did to him (if anything) to deserve having TPIR preempted so much, but it does piss Bob off so much that he and Dubya eventually square off just before the final battle against...
Eldrick "Happy" Gilmore[edit | edit source]
World-class golfer, and Bob's archenemy. Bob once destroyed Happy in a fight. Happy, instead of seeking immediate and direct revenge, devotes himself to becoming a golf legend.
After claiming the gold, green, white, black and fuschia jackets, Happy then launched his plans. Using his fame, influence and Nike money, Happy devotes the majority of his time and money to destroying Bob Barker. Happy creates the Gilmore's Goons gang - a collection of hockey wannabes and crazed golf fanatics. Happy has also funded a series of attempted terrorist attacks against Bob and his Television City headquarters. He is also rumored by some to be behind ATEP, and may have even helped Howie Mandel get his start.
Bob battles Happy and his gang throughout the game, and the two bitter enemies finally battle it out one final time in the game's last mission.
Almighty Game Guy[edit | edit source]
Originally planned to be the games deuteragonist during game devolvement, he suddenly turned into them games antagonist after finding out the player had stole his chocolate Hershey’s bar and had been having sexual intercourse with his baby mama as well as his mama. He is extremely dangerous and carries his genital with him at all times. He uses his genital as a shotgun. Two cocks and its ready to go! He eventually dies at the end because game developers decided he was too much of an ass so they made the player make Almighty fall into the snowy Alps. He then survives and rejoins with Captain America, who attempted to do suicide in the movie but failed, leaving game developers astonished. There story was then cut and added as downloadable content for Jimmy Loses His Virginity, A crime thriller in which the player must find out who is Jimmy lost his virginity too. It is the prequel to Grand Theft Auto: Television City.
Locations[edit | edit source]
The Bob Barker Studio[edit | edit source]
The home studio of The Price Is Right, and the main base of operations for the Price gang. Bob can store his weapons and hundreds of vehicles here.
Bob's Mansion[edit | edit source]
An impressive, fortress-like mansion. Declared a historical landmark simply because it's Bob's home. He keeps a great deal of his money and his Beauties here. Almighty Game Guy once stepped foot on the mansion but was then sued by Bob himself.
Sony Pictures Studio[edit | edit source]
Main base of operations for both Alex Trebek and Pat Sajak, and their respective gangs.
Culver Studios[edit | edit source]
Home of Deal Or No Deal and base of Howie Mandel's pathetic pimping operations.
New York City[edit | edit source]
Home of Regis Philbin. Bob travels here for his missions to wipe out Millionaire and cutoff Regis' lifelines.
Ed Sullivan Theater[edit | edit source]
Home to the Late Show with David Letterman., Bob travels here for adding segments borrowed for the Late Show.
Washington D.C.[edit | edit source]
Home of the White House, Bob travels here to fight George W. Bush and his gang. There are also a few other minor missions he does here, too, like an interview for The Washington Post.
Happy Gilmore's Grandmother's House[edit | edit source]
Home base for Happy's sinister plots. The final missions of the game take place here.
Bitch Jack OFF Palace[edit | edit source]
The main base of AGG Operations (AGG as in Almighty Game Guy). Bob travels here to obliterate the drug compound but is unsuccessful and instead murders a high official of AGG Operations. The compound serves many fronts including illegal weapons trade, human trafficking, murder, extortion, alcohol, drugs, gambling, counterfeit and illegal farting on dead corpse (a.k.a. T-BAG MUTA FUCKER).
Nevada[edit | edit source]
It's where Las Vegas, so why the fuck would you not go here? All these heists offer some pretty good cash rewards, but watch out where you're going, since someone can rape you pretty hard down these streets. Fuck it, the rape could be at least 50 bucks, or a penny, thanks to fucking Howie Mandel's maneuvers.
Vehicles[edit | edit source]
While Bob is powerful and can get around on foot as fast as by car, he does occasionally need to ride in luxury - or transport people and weapons on his missions. For these purposes, here are some of the vehicles available.
- Chevy Aveo: Basic form of transportation. Bob and Rich have thousands of these, and desperately try to get rid of them on The Price Is Right.
- Chevy Cobalt: Somewhat similar to the Aveo, but more cobaltish.
- Ford Focus: Slightly better than the Aveo, and almost as common.
- Ford Mustang: Somewhat sportier car, and another frequent prize on The Price Is Right. For some reason, contestants think they cost more than they are really worth.
- Lincoln Town Car: Once was Bob's favorite car, and he'll still gladly drive one if its the best choice available.
- Dodge Viper: Fastest car in the game, but unable to carry very much. Bob rarely allows any of them from his private stash to be offered on the show.
- Lexus LS: Bob's official ride. Stylish, luxurious and capable of carrying four other gang members. Bob often goes cruising in it when looking for new Beauties. Created the "no foreign cars" policy on The Price Is Right so he'd have an excuse to never give any of his away.
- 1974 Dodge Monaco: It's got a cop motor - a 440 cubic inch plant. It's got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters, so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile, or what?
- Tour Bus: Bob and Rich have boosted some of the tour buses used to bring large groups to the show. While slow and rather dull looking, they can transport dozens of gang members and tons of weapons, making them very useful on some missions.
- Air Force One: The President's airplane. You gain this by defeating George W. Bush. Almost essential if you travel back and forth between the East Coast and the Bob Barker Studio frequently. Like the bus, it can transport lots of gang members and weapons, but it's much faster and can help you evade the police better than the other vehicles. Also, for some odd reason, people cheer for you a lot when you're in this plane. Perhaps maybe they think you're the President or something...
You usually get an Air Force escort as well.
- Jack OFF Dick: Almighty Game Guys personal Bat-Mobile Lamborghini. It is gained by the player after you steal Almighty’s chocolate bar. Inside the car is a secret message from game developers which is “.,.,.,./,.,.,/’;,;,/,/,” which, decoded, translates into “Yo, wazup my nigga. Wat u doin fridey night? I be at tat bar pimpin them bitches” which translates into “Easter Egg”.
Weapons[edit | edit source]
While GTA: Television City offers the usual assortment of guns and other destructive weapons, Bob most often prefers to pummel his enemies with his bare hands, his Hole In One putter, or the most lethal weapon of them all: His trusty Plinko stick.
While it appears to be an ordinary stick, don't be fooled. One stab at a car's engine or fuel tank will destroy it instantly. And Bob can impale or decapitate people with ease with this ultimate weapon.
Oh yeah, and you can also pick up TVs & hit people with 'em. You can also get a TV launcher to launch them even further.
Soundtrack[edit | edit source]
- The Price Is Right Theme - Sheila Cole
- Come On Down - Crystal Waters
- Get The Party Started - Pink
- Dig We Must (Showcase Showdown music) - Score Productions
- Big Banana (The Price Is Right Prize Cue) - Score Productions
- Splendido (Showcase Music) - Score Productions
- Bhen (TPIR Cue) - Score Productions
- Starcrossed (Showcase Cue) - Score Productions
- Thru Train (Chain Reaction Theme) - Bob Cobert
- Late Show with David Letterman Theme - Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra
- How High The Moon - Ella Fitzgerald
- Streets Of New York - Duke Ellington
- The Game - Motorhead
- The King Of Kings - Motorhead
- Like A Virgin - Madonna
- Erotica - Madonna
- Material Girl - Madonna
- Hail to the Chief
- The Star-Spangled Banner - Francis Scott Key
- Stars and Stripes Forever
- Music from CBS News
- Victory's Pursuit - Craig Palmer
- Barbie Girl - Danish-Norwegian dance-pop group Aqua
- I Just Had Sex - The Lonely Island ft. Akon
- I'm on a Boat - The Lonely Island ft. T-Pain
- If I Were a Boy - Beyoncé Knowles
- Nigga, What the Fuck I Said Bout That Bitch - AGG Operations
- Damn Nigga! Shut the Fuck Up Cause you Got Stank Breath - AGG Operations
- Why is Your Pants Brown?! You Took a Shit on Yourself?! - Beyoncé Man
- I'm an Alabama Nigger (Kinda Clean Edition) - Johnny Rebel
Sequel[edit | edit source]
It was announced by Rockstar Games on September 11th, 2001, that there shall be a sequel to the original Grand Theft Auto: Television City. The sequel is called Jimmy Loses His Virginity, in which players are forced into a third person shooter, open world, crime thriller to find who stole Jimmy’s virginity. The game features new characters and some from Television City such as Almighty Game Guy (deuteragonist), Bob Barker (cameo) and Madonna (what?). The game involves sex and elements of film noir, and also the ability to change the settings to Caucasian-and-African (black-and-white). The games protagonist is yet to be released.