Ella Fitzgerald

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“Skit skat skiddly-doo bop bidee bop shibby.”

~ Ella Fitzgerald on the deficit spending ratio's effect on interstate commerce

Ella Jane Fitzgerald (April 25, 1917 – June 15, 1996), also known as the "Spito skit spito doo Queen" and (posthumously)[1] "Lady Edmond",[2][3] was an American jazz vocalist.

Early career[edit | edit source]

Nasta stoh pop bido dit dat-doogity do fantuh noosh shop shi-boobidy BIM-BUM anna kiDOW dum di dee do di don duh tok ticka shinoop wop doo wop wap wiggity wee bum pinoosh sho shee reggidy be bum di stoppa tat ting diggy to tap tuh tog yot yambalaboomba pitata fa ta-ta-ta-ta daggle di boop bop!

World War II[edit | edit source]

Te tottlidoo dom duh deedle ih du BOM bamma-di tot toh ye-tiddle ye too bum snaffa sni-snoo soh be bobbity boop tuh ICH EICH UNE YERGH GREIBENSTATZ STRUBEN ESTRAUSSEN DOCH YUN ALBGELEITET VON DER PEJORATIVEN KURZBEZEICHNUNG BENUTZTEN DIE zap zibby shi boop bop poppity pow wow snick snackity snow wow gi di duh donk tat skit skat nack a dingle-a-doo bop tet taddle snackitydoo di duh donka kitta kow wow pinowow ALS DIE HERKUNFTSWORTER UND WIRD AUCH ZUR BEZEICHNUNG DER DAMALIGEN boop!

Transmutation into Cyborg (2.0)[edit | edit source]

Beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop skat!

Stuttering affliction (1958)[edit | edit source]

T...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t... t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t... t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t... t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t...t

Vow of silence (1963)[edit | edit source]

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Doowopbidow!

Skat Fest (1966)[edit | edit source]

Skittlee doo bop bideeble tittatkitow tantici dee dooby shooby wooby nidi tattli pow tow CANNA CI DOO DOOWOP SHIBIDI BI IBOO BOP NANA TAT TOT DIDDLY WUB WIB AWAMMAL SHIN AFANNA KIT KAT KIDOODLE DEWOOP SHWOP POP DIBOP TOP BIDOP POODLIE DOODLY DOODLY WOODLY SHNICK SHNACK BICRACKLE KIDOWWOW BOOM plop.

Sinking (1975)[edit | edit source]

Ella Fitzgerald sank in Lake Superior in November, 1975, carrying a shipment of iron ore. Her final words were "Doowop Doowop Doowop Doowop Doowop Doowaaaaaahhh!"[4]

Since (1989)[edit | edit source]

Witnesses report a zombified Fitzgerald swooning East Germans into bashing down the Berlin wall, leading to the end of communism. Critics claim Louis Armstrong was also at the scene.

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. Knotes.jpg
  2. sic (not to mention the bastard)
  3. or stepchildren
  4. the names of someone's wives' sons and a daughter