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Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 19

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FOR THE KING

August 19: Battle of Knockdoe Day

  • 1501 - The de Burghs and Fitzgeralds agree to have a glorious battle in Knockdoe next year.
  • 1502 - Ulick Burke too hung over to remember what day it is; Gerald Fitzgerald "super pissed" that he didn't show up.
  • 1503 - Gerald Fitzgerald too hung over to attend the battle; Ulick Burke calls him a damn hypocrite.
  • 1504 - The Battle of Knockdoe: a bunch of Normans and Irish chop each other to pieces, probably forever altering English history or something.
  • 1919 - Afghanistan gains independence from the United Kingdom, bringing an end to the Second Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1952 - Jonathan Frakes, actor who portrayed William Riker, born in order to commemorate the 448th anniversary of the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1991 - Collapse of the Soviet Union: Mikhail Gorbachev placed under house arrest while watching docudrama about the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 2005 - Lonely tourist kisses the Blarney Stone, ends up in extended makeout session.
  • 2010 - The parish of Lackagh, former site of the Battle of Knockdoe, found to be infested with stinking drunken Irishmen.