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From today's featured article 

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Ah, to disguise oneself! One of life's little pleasures. If someone doesn't like who they are, they can just turn around, click their heels three times, and become anybody! Movie stars, presidents, queens, kings, and rabbits, all within the reach of any lad or lass who can shuffle in off the street, throw down a little cash on the counter of their local costume shop, and with a gleam in their eye and confidence in their voice say, "Remake me, motherplugger!"

Disguises (a.k.a. costumes, masks, and cosmetics) have a long history and a longer psychological profile. They come out when you least expect it, and they wander the streets riding on top of children when you most expect it (a.k.a. Halloween). Disguises parade, flirt, and intoxicate themselves at carnivale, Mardi Gras, and costume parties. And disguises always emerge triumphant, bless their hearts, before going back to live in their box or closet to patiently await their next mischievous and free-spirited adventure. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
  • ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
  • ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
  • ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
  • ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
  • ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?

In the news 

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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Any hopes for a KISS reunion

Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs

On this day 

Evil villains are instantly recognisable by their top hats and outrageous moustaches.

October 24: Evil Villian Appreciation Day, National Put The Ramones On at Full Volume And Piss Off The Neighbors Day

  • 1867 - After mass revolt by the Australian and New Zealand governments, Harry becomes Guardian of UCT
  • 1889 - First recorded use of pure hearted maiden, strapped to railroad tracks, to attract a ransom; the deed, while dastardly, merely attracts Royal Canadian Mounted Police who save the girl and thwart the plan.
  • 1931 - Polish schoolboy Joseph Ratzinger is arrested for arson, rape and general troublemaking. The Pope declares this day an International catholic holiday.
  • 1941 - Hitler writes the lyrics of "Blitzkrieg Bop". Later becomes a hit song by The Ramones.
  • 1943 - Morrocco becomes capital of evil villains; they are simply fed up to "here" with Hitler's needy personality
  • 1969 - Your second-grade teacher, mean old Miss Masters takes away your favorite doll and holds it ransom; demands that you earn an "A" on your spelling test or "Dolly gets it"
  • 1977 - Habitat for Humanity contemplates rebuilding the Big Bad Wolf's house for charity. Instead decides on Euthanasia as a more cost-sensitive option.
  • 1984 - A science teacher from Great Yarmouth sends his class zipwiring down pylon wires, claiming a man who looked a spitting image of Osama Bin Laden told him to do so. It turned out to be the janitor. Incredibly, no-one was even injured and everyone cleared the zipline.
  • 2005 - Dick Cheney gets a dozen roses.
  • 2006 - George Bush holds Ramone concert; all of Canada kept awake until 3am
  • 2007 - Harry Potter 7 comes out -SPOILER: Voldemort idealised as upstanding being, wins Hermione's heart. In desperation Harry becomes gay.

Picture of the day

Kafka's Metamorphosis
 Franz Kafka started his career as a newspaper cartoonist, before being sued by Gary Larson in the court of his own mind.

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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