User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

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Today's featured article You have two cows is the ultimate philosophical truth. All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedians. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity: $Moo\cdot \left(\sin \left(Cow_{A}\right)+\cos \left(Cow_{B}\right)\right)\,\!=2\cdot {Cows}$ This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity: $\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{A}\right)}+\log _{moo}{\left(Cow_{B}\right)}\,\!=\log _{\left(2\,Cow\right)}{\left(Moo\right)}$ Where Moo is the universal moometric constant. A longstanding tradition of mathematics is discovering new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 are known. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries June 9: Moose Conservation Day (Canada) 1920 - First solar-powered air balloon launched at night. 1926 - First refrigerator invented, used to kill people slowly and coldly, scientists decide it is better to use a refrigerator to keep food cold instead. 1940 - The team of scientists at Los Alamos construct the world's first nuclear weapons after the US government's promise to only use them for peaceful nuclear bombings. 1969 - Sex is created, scientists do not think it will be a big hit. 1988 - The VHS video entitled Steal This Movie becomes the world's most widely stolen merchandise. Politicians baffled. 1993 - The case of Pot v. Kettle goes to the Supreme Court. 2003 - Open-Heart Surgery for Dummies notches its record breaking 500th lawsuit. 2005 - On this Moose Conservation Day, nothing moose-related is mentioned. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day [[ yo-yo]] Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here.." Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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