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Mexico is a Latin American country that pairs total social dysfunction with a population that never asks why nothing works but patiently waits for things to be different later.

Mexico is bordered to the north by the United States, though the border is vague and moving further north; and to the south by several even scarier places such as El Humidor, with which the border doesn't matter. Mexico comprises 21 states, two territories aptly referred to as "Taco.C.", and three districts: a Federal District that is like Washington, D.C. but even smoggier, and the districts of Cancún and Acapulco, except that they are districts of the United States.

Mexico was originally populated by a special breed of human beings, namely the Aztecs and Mayans. They perfected the ritual killing of youngsters, long before the invention of the automobile, and predicted that the world would end soon. They were conquered by the Spaniards, who preached that the world would never end. In 1821 Mexico declared its independence, and modern Mexicans wonder why it is taking so long for the world to end.

Among American Presidents, Barack Obama surely thought he was in Mexico when he promised Americans that things would be different if they would only "hope" for "change". And, ¡ay, Chihuahua! he got away with it. And George W. Bush surely meant Mexico when he referred to the people who "are only doing the jobs that Americans won't do (at least, at the shabby wages we want to pay them)". These jobs include serving spicy meals that induce pain the next day, blowing off court dates, and making snap decisions to leave the expressway despite cruising in the fast lane. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

*... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?

... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?

... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?

... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?

... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?

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On this day...
June 6: Happy Birthday Satan! 666 BC - Lucifer feels the need to throw an extra special party this year, if only to show God how many friends he really has. 6 BC - Computer geeks start worrying about the transition to two-digit years, doomsayers proclaim the beginning of the end times. 1670 - Creepy child with glowing red eyes is born in a small village in rural Sweden. Turns out it's just a condition, and he inherits his father's moose skinning business. 1789 - The Bastille is stormed, the French immediately surrender to themselves. 1966 - Twenty-three people visit a McDonald's in Clearwater, Michigan, only to find it replaced by a Wendy's. 1978 - My bitch ex-wife born on this day, coincidence? Biased family court loves stupid bitches who won't let me see my kids! I never touched them! 2006 - Christians worry that babies born this day will turn into the Antichrist, so they neglect them and compare them unfavorably to their baby sister. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's fattiest picture

Hunted almost to extinction for their magnificent plumage, the booby population has exploded thanks to careful protection by ornithologists of the final breeding pair. Two boobies, in the vernacular of birdwatching, are known as "a pair of tits".

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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