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It's another sunny day in Cairo, an idle taxi driver standing by his car is approached by a good looking American female reporter..

Reporter: Hi

Egyptian: wa aleikom es-salam ya otta!

Reporter: Do you speak English?

Egyptian: Berfect!

Reporter: Do you mind if I interview you?

Egyptian: Interfiew?! (narrows eyes in distrust) you mukhabarat? I didn't do anysing! I am good Egybtian! I did not show za photo of za brezident wearing dress!

Reporter: ... Sir, I'm a reporter for--

Egpytian: Oh, you no mukhabarat? Nevar mind. Forget I say anysing about za brezident in dress. He is very man.

Reporter: (looking baffled) Name?

Egyptian: Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo.

Reporter: Sex?

Egyptian: Yes blease. You want to do in taxi? It's very nice. Nearly has air-condition and za chairs are camel lezar. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

*... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?

... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?

... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?

... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?

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In the news
Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
June 4: International Smack-A-Kid Day 1452 - Christopher Columbus outvoted on naming the Santa Maria, "The Shitbag". 1776 - Thomas Jefferson asks for first two-week extension on the Declaration of Independence. 1863 - Rain causes International Celebrate Yesterday day to be put off until next day; mass confusion results. 1900 - John Jefferson of Oak Ridge, Pennsylvania, awakes from forty-year sleep, dies of asphyxiation inside coffin. 1942 - The Battle of Midway begins with a surprise attack on Konami. 1980 - Every child abuse offender is released in Texas due to prison overcrowding and a decline in child abuse. 1989 - Chinese children are put in tanks and forced to run over screaming protesters in Tiananmen Square. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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The Klan's Halloween cross burnings are fun for the whole family!

Image credit: Zombiebaron
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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