You Are in Hell

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You Are in Hell

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You, <insert name here> (???? – 2024) were born several years ago and now you are in Hell.

Hell Hell Hell.

You can whine and bitch about it, but it won't do any good. Because you are in Hell.

You at least want some questions answered?
Well, get used to suffering for eternity, sinner boy.

And that also goes for the smart bitch right there that just said "I'm not a boy". You're in Hell too, so be quiet.

Welcome to Hell

Satan has been waiting for your arrival...

In your first and final venture into Hell, you may notice how the weather is burning hot, and how there are no rainy days or sunny days. Or more specifically, you may have noticed how the "weather" is designed to be painful. Be very alarmed. In fact, you may find in Hell that 100% of the painful sensations you felt before going to Hell are still here, and 0% of the good sensations you felt before going to Hell are still here.

Perhaps you have noticed a light shining way up in the distance. That is Heaven. Unfortunately for you, you can't go there. Because you sinned. Just think about all those happy people up there praising God for all eternity. But you can't go there. Because you're in Hell. As for any friends or family you had on Earth, they're probably glad you're gone.

Things to do while in Hell

You Are in Hell FAQ

The road to hell is paved with good intentions... or so they say

• Q: I did good deeds sometimes in my life; when I wasn't raping people, murdering kids, starting cults, and sacrificing humans. Where do I cash in on this?
• A: This is Hell. You can't cash in on it. But you can cash in on your bad deeds.

• Q: How do I cash in on my bad deeds?
• A: Go to Satan and ask for a reward. He'll give you some time off being tortured.

• Q: How come the bad person gets a reward, but I don't?
• A: You are a bad person. Otherwise, you wouldn't be in Hell.

• Q: If I hadn't read this article, would I still be on Earth?
• A: Yes, but you would still go to Hell eventually.

• Q: Can I be a zombie?
• A: Now, no. But eventually, on Doomsday, when you'll be able to go back to Earth in the form of a zombie, yes.

• Q: What about a ghost?
• A: Ghosthood is only for the dead people that have unfinished business. Or for the dead people that need to right some wrongs.

• Q: What about me? Why can't I just right my wrongs instead of going to Hell?
• A: Because Life Death isn't fair.

• Q: Vampire?
• A: No.

• Q: Werewolf?
• A: What do you think?

• Q: Animated skeleton?
• A: Shut up.

Bye

Have a good time in Hell!