Subconscious

Some things are best locked up.

Your subconscious is a prison where all images forgotten by your conscious mind are stored. Your unrepentant sins, your darkest fears, and your sickest fantasies all have tea together in your subconscious, just waiting for you to have a breakdown so they can escape. Cowardice, failure, and your inability to cook a decent meal are there too. Prowling the hallways of your subconscious they wait for a moment of panic to seize control of your puppet-like body. Woke up with an unpleasant (or an occasional pleasant) wetness? Started laughing for no reason? Wanted to ACTUALLY watch MTV? Pulled the trigger but you're not sure why? That’s your subconscious trying to tell you something.

What is it trying to tell me?

I’m glad you asked. It’s constantly feeding you information about spiders on the ceiling just above you, what excatly the fire is saying to you, your spouse cheating on you, and that guy at the grocery store who has been following you home. Sadly, you’re not listening. You want vocalization, and that’s not the job of your subconscious. That’s your conscience. Your subconscious is there to keep any and all mistakes you blank out. That time you had your pants pulled down on the school bus? Oh it remembers it vividly, and will play it back for the benefit of your next nightmare.

Magritte's subconscious, yeah it's pretty sweet.

Isn't there a bright side to this thing?

Yes! Your subconscious keeps track of everything, that means once in a while, when your girlfriend/boyfriend is trying to pull a fast one on you concerning what you did or didn't do for them in the past five years, you will catch it. You will recall with clarity this or that watch you purchased, this or that girl/guy you didn't sleep with, and that time you let them reach climax while getting nothing in return. It keeps track of things that your conscious mind would get bored repeating out loud. How to eat with silverware, the house to skip while trick or treating on Elm street, and control of lower GI functions. All of these things are kept track of by your subconscious.

Editor in Chief?

That’s right, when you're lying on the hood of your car with all that windshield safety glass embedded in your face, it’s your subconscious that decides it’s time to play your whole life back before your bloodied eyes. Maybe you wanted to see your second girlfriend/boyfriend again, sorry, they were cut for artistic reasons. Your Labrador Retriever or your cat Pepper? They’re non-union, and they wouldn’t sign a waiver for this picture. Calm down, it’s not rated PG or anything, you will get to see yourself lose your virginity again (for guys that’s good, for girls, again - sorry). Although occasionally it will add other people's memories to the mix for fun. Your birth always ends it, that’s a commonality that must be emphasized before everyone reaches purgatory. Thank you for the show subconscious - roll credits please!

Subconsciousness = Biden

For the fact that the subconsciousness play tricks on you all the time, you should be aware that it is for your own good. The mere fact that you visited this article is your subconsciousness acting, because something is not right. As you'll be able to see, being subconsicous is a state of existence, and as such it's extremely normal to roam around sometimes, as the internet is a very good place for you to be by any chance, because you're probably looking for something that would help you improve, but get to know that it is due to some bloody crisis taking over your life, you know that, don't you?