User talk:English peasant

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Welcome!

Hey, English peasant, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. Thanks for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here's some stuff you should probably read before editing:

I would read those links if I were you...it'll make you look much better around here.

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If you wanna start an article, it's a good idea to start it in your userspace (for example, User:English peasant/Article about stuff) so you can edit it without fear of it being huffed. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, try to make it funny and not just stupid; and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well. With some practice I'm sure you can become a great writer here!

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—Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦

 

Ahaha

Oh, my bad dude. Haha. --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 00:23, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Wibbly Pig

Yeah, I see what you're doing there, and having nephews of that age, I quite like it. But can we not create a category for it? Thanks. --UU - natter 10:01, Mar 30

I created one but it got huffed ("fucking pointless category"). English peasant 10:03, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, that was me - sorry I was a little harsh, I get bugged by category spam, and I'd assumed that was your intention, leaping effortlessly to the wrong conclusion with all the grace of a hippo. --UU - natter 10:13, Mar 30

What about Category:Articles about a subject written in the style of fans of the subject? Puppy Tuesday, 21:09, Mar 30 2010 UTC

Good suggestion, I put it on the category to avoid ruining the narrative of the piece. English peasant 21:55, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

While I'm here...

Love as a mental disorder was a previous angle for that article, and one that was written out of the article with that rewrite. I don't know that {{Mental}} really fits there any more. How would you feel about my removing that? Puppy Tuesday, 21:13, Mar 30 2010 UTC

Not too bothered about Love, as long as you don't remove Homosexuality, many of my friends are poofs and if they couldn't see the funny side I'd have to give them a lot of shit about being pissy over-sensitive queers. Where I come from, if its not offensive its not funny. English peasant 21:21, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, English peasant, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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UnNews UnFunnies

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This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Your mum

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER – Preceding unsigned comment added by 92.2.113.25 (talk • contribs)

Well thank you for sharing your witty remarks with us. Well done English peasant 20:49, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Looks like you have a new fan. ;) —Pelozurian (talk) 04:07, 28 April 2010 (UTC)

Your mum

YOUR MOTHER IS KNOWN FOR HER UNCONTROLLABLE, VORACIOUS SEXUAL APPETITE AND IS CURRENTLY IN THERAPY FOR HER SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER. I HOPE SHE GETS WELL AND BEST OF WISHES MOTHERFUCKER– Preceding unsigned comment added by MsuCarencro (talk • contribs)

Her serious psychological disorder (singular), why that's the kindest thing I think anyone has ever said about her. English peasant 22:27, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Your mum

YOUR MOTHER WHO SUCKS COCKS IN HELL ALSO WEARS A STUPID HAT WHICH IS ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL LOOKING – Preceding unsigned comment added by Aleister in Chains (talk • contribs)

Read the instructions on my userpage. Abusive comments should go there not here. Thank you. English peasant 00:12, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

Your mom

YOUR MOTHER IS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO CONTINUE A MEME THAT IS SO DEAD IT HAS BEEN BURNED BURIED AND THEN EXHUMED AND MIXED WITH LIME DUST AND ADDED TO AN AIR CANNON THAT IS LET OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A TROPICAL CYCLONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A SOUTH PACIFIC ISLAND WHICH HAS THEN BEEN USED AS A NUCLEAR TEST SITE BY A COUNTRY THAT IS NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE AS IT WAS PREVIOUSLY PART OF A COMMUNIST REGIME THAT EVENTUALLY GOT EATEN UP BY A DICTATORIAL REPUBLIC MOTHERFUCKER. – Preceding unsigned comment added by PuppyOnTheRadio (talk • contribs)

[applause] —Pelozurian (talk) 01:35, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

Your dad

NO ONE REALLY LIKES TO TALK ABOUT HIM MOTHERFUCKER. – Preceding unsigned comment added by MsuCarencro (talk • contribs)

My Dad bummed your Dad English peasant 17:45, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

Come to Daddy

I can't help noticing that you appear to be an Aphex Twin fan. Well done! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 17:59, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Haiz

Long time no see!

– Preceding unsigned comment added by MsuCarencro (talk • contribs)

Bin busy

– Preceding unsigned comment added by English peasant (talk • contribs)

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Stanley Unwin, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

Late dance part 1

My computer was down yesterday =(, so i'm giving out 2 dances today.

Now i'm off to give out "Late dance part 2" Dancing dude

English Peasant?

In Yorkshire? How did you survive Peasant Shooting Season? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I moved to Ibiza before the season started. English peasant 09:09, December 3, 2010 (UTC)