User:Void Raven/Catamite
Catamites - What are They?
A catamite plays the woman in the popular role-playing game known as Sodomy.
Catamites are classically under age boys whose lack of bodily hair and high pitched voices are deliberate so that the guy who is doing the buggering can pretend that he is in fact having intercourse with a woman.
Nobody knows why catamites are preferred over actual women by pedophiles, but it is mooted that the reason is usually because the pedophile is not adept at forming adult relationships and would not be able to function at all in one.
Who Uses Catamites?
The buggerer of catamites will usually be an older man who is a pedophile and will have met the catamite on facebook, pretending that he is a 12 year old boy himself that likes to play mario cart. The reality is that he is a fat 45 year old truck driver named Bruno, but that won't matter at all when he brings his chosen catamite some candy and a video game.
Catamites are also found in church choirs; every choir boy upon joining a choir will have signed a contract which leases his ass to rent. In these cases, the priest will role play the man in the game of Sodomy.
The most famous user of catamites was Oscar Wilde, although this bought him a jail sentance and will likely buy any other user of catamites outside of the church one too.
The History of Catamites[edit | edit source]
In days gone by, catamites were far more common and accepted in society. As a matter of fact, it was actually encouraged to bugger young boys in civilizations such as ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome.
The term for this activity in ancient civilizations is known as 'Pederasty'; or the art of pedophilia.
Luring the Catamite
The young boys were lured by promises to see the pyramid builders (Egypt), the Olympic games (Greece), or to watch the gladiators kill each other in the arena (Rome). Of course, the young boys could not resist the invitations being naive due to their being under age, and went back with the pedophile to learn about an entirely different kind of sport.
Another popular method of getting a catamite back in ancient times, was to join a cult of pedophiles which sought young boys and had them initiated by means of sodomy into their ranks. These catamites could then be shared by all of the members of that cult.
Why under age boys were popular
During the days of those ancient civilizations, women lived exclusively in kitchens and were hardly ever seen except at meal times when they brought out the food that they had cooked, and whenever the man of the house wanted sex. Women therefore only existed to cook, clean and fulfil her husband's demands. She would occasionally also give birth and look after these children which the husband would have nothing to do with.
This meant that unmarried men never even saw a woman apart from maybe their mother, and yet they needed servicing; so they chose catamites. Married men also used catamites when away on business.
It is also a fact that Zeus himself, the king of Greek gods was also a pedophile. The evidence remains to this day in ancient relics such as statues, mosaics and paintings.
Choir boys[edit | edit source]
Choir boys are the only socially accepted form of catamites in modern society. They are an ancient tradition dating as far back as the medieval church. And because God approves of the buggering of choir boys, it is not regarded as sexual abuse.
The reason that they exist, apart from in historical times to fill in the roles of women singers (who were far too busy in kitchens back then to become involved in choirs) is to pleasure priests who have taken a vow of celibacy. This vow prohibits them from engaging in sexual encounters with women, so therefore choir boys became a perfectly acceptable substitute.
The most well known choir boy was the Welsh catamite Aled Jones. He was most famous for starring in some badly made cartoon called the Snowman that was shown repeatedly on British TV every single xmas during the 1980s and 1990s. He sang just like a little girl and this singing was used as a soundtrack for that cartoon. The cartoon was actually about a little boy that gets lured out of his bedroom in his pyjamas to join a fat, middle aged snowman in flying over rooftops and the like. Fortunately Aled Jones grew up so nobody cares about him these days.
Pop Music[edit | edit source]
Another permitted use of catamites is in the popular music industry. Here are a few that made it into the public ear:
Michael Jackson started out his career as a catamite in the Jackson five. Older males in his family took turns to bugger him, which made his singing even more high pitched. Unfortunately, as he grew up, he learned from these older family members that having catamites was a good idea, so he began to lure young boys himself, and became the buggerer.
The Osmonds were a lesser known group of catamites in the 1970s. More under age boys that knew the meaning of the phrase, 'bend over'.
Hanson A 1990s group of catamites, much along the same lines as the above. Also fell into obscurity when they grew up.
Justin Bieber A modern catamite who may or may not be about to grow up. Apparently he takes hormones to stop puberty from affecting him. He may well be a eunuch; nobody knows for certain unless he dissapears from the public eye
Child Actors[edit | edit source]
All under age boys in the film industry are shared between the directors, the cameramen and the make-up artists. It is simply a part of their contract.
One famous catamite in the 1990s was Macaulay Culkin, who starred in the blockbuster Home Alone series; but he grew up and became of no further use in the making of movies.
When hiring a child actor, the role is normally given to the kid that performs his off-screen role the best.
There are many under age male actors, all sworn to a vow of secrecy not to tell the media for fear of losing their career. Any catamite that tells such a tale in public, either to Jerry Springer or any other chat show host, will be directly removed from the public eye and sacrificed to Zeus in a cannibalistic ritual.
Public School Boys[edit | edit source]
Much like the ancient Greek cults, rich kids that attend boarding schools become initiated into the cult of public school boys by becoming catamites. They will be shared between the headmaster/principle and all of the teachers in turn.
All of the men in the British Royal family and anyone else that can afford the insane tuition fees attend Eton, a very notorious and expensive public school, where ancient rites and traditions are strictly maintained.
But it is not just in such expensive schools. Morrissey, when in the band 'The Smiths' wrote a song called the 'Headmaster Ritual' which describes a gym teacher using a catamite, most probably a juvenile Morrissey himself, in Madchester;
"..He grabs and devours kicks me in the showers..."
The act of sodomy is carried out in a room known as the 'Headmaster's / principle's office' or alternately in the showers, and is accepted by all members of the upper classes. As a matter of fact, having been a public school boy will guarantee you a place in another cult known as the masons later in life.