User:Snafugauche
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Snafugauche: The Name[edit | edit source]
Snafugauche is an "editor" on Uncyclopedia who looked upped a Thesaurus to form his name. He is known to the Spanish community as Carlo K. Si. One day he wanted to become a member of Uncyclopdeia to have fun with it. Little did he know he needed a name to get pass the high tech de-fence system, which was in place of the coded "Berlin Wall" system, to do so, he went directly to the Thesaurus. While reading, he randomly found the perfect word, "gauche", which basically translates to a stupid left handed person "crude" or "obscene".[1] As stupid as he was, Snafugauche then needed a to make his name longer for reasons known to him, but to protect himself and his family from the Portuguese Mafia, won't write about "that" that would not be discovered any time soon. So he stumbled upon the acronym, "snafu" which mean in it's [[Wikipeidia[2] form all f--- up]] polite form: "all fouled up". Snafugauche finally found thecalling card name he would use on Uncyclopdeia, reatching his everlasting goal to have fun with it. But who is the man behind that computer you ask. No one really cares knows, but theories have been put out there.
Early Life: The Gang Years[edit | edit source]
Immediately after his birth, Snafugauche's father disowned him, and was {not included into the family. (People have also parallel this to the "Wolf leaves his cub to die" phenomenon, or the "Donald Trump Syndrome"). Living off the streets of Santa Rosa, California, Snafugauche eventually rose to power at age 5, to became the youngest leader of the gang known as the "Snip'ars"}. (Snafugauche at a later date went on to say that he changed the name from the "Panda Killers" to the "Snip'ars" because he disliked the idea of rival gangs thinking that they actually have killed one of those cute, cuddly fur balls.
After several years on top as the alpha gang leader, a man by the name of Tybaltus came along to challenge Snafugauche to a duel. Snafugauche and Tybaltus had "demanded satisfaction" from each other. What happened was that at age 8, (he was now 10) Snafugauche had insulted Tybaltus at one of his parties. Snafugauche wasn't invited and soon became drunk. He started to sing along to the music, (which was playing Cher at the time), and made racial slurs at all the guest. Tybaltus, insulted by Snafugauche kicked him in the face and threw him out of the party, (This also explains why Snafugauche demanded satisfaction). Once the duel started, all Snafugauche said was "Hey isn't that Michael Moore? Get him!" A distracted Tybaltus got stab in the back by Snafugauche's Katana. This part of the event is disputed by most historians since Snafugauche was only 4 foot 7 at the time to Tybaltus' 6 foot 2.
End of the Tweens[edit | edit source]
So after the great defeat, Snafugauche realized that he has getting old for his tween years, he was turning into a teenager.
To prevent this(he hope)he would have to do one of two things:
- Make himself stay back a grade
- Kill'em self
Neither would work because he was too smart to stay back a grade, and he could barley take off a band aid without it hurting. So Snafugauche, being a gang leader/wimp at the same time needed a quick fix, being lazy, he turned the T.V on one day and and watched "Maury". Nothing came to him and he quickly turned 13, since that day was one day before his birthday.
Start of the Teens[edit | edit source]
At age 13 years old, Snafugauche was kicked out of the gang he semi-created for being too old. Since he was going to High school early, as with Middle school, he couldn't care less. All he did in response to his "departure" was burn down the their houses and erase there Myspace pages. On his way to High School at age 13, Snafugauche started to hate idiots. He hated them so much, he couldn't sit in his Political Science class for more than 15 minutes in his 1 hour class. He got so pissed off at idiots that he said he needed to "end it all", so he watched Hello Kitty for 15 hours straight. He eventually got over this slum by making the idiots look smart, something he wouldn't do until later in his life.
Most of Snafugauche's High school life was not important. "lost". He probably burned them to less incriminate himself. Most likely someone was paid to burn the evidence, but this has lead to arguments saying he was too stupid poor to do so. What we do know was that before he went to college, he was part of the stupidest biggest prank pulled at his High school. What happened was that people put Mentos and Diet Coke together, "explosive" by most scientists, and stuffed 1000 of them into each of the school's lockers. The next day the school smelt like toothpaste soda and fresh breath. The janitors had to work over paid summer to clean it up. The sad part was that Snafugauche didn't get to see his creation, he had other jobs to attend to on the last day of school. Sadly those are parts that were "lost" in a "fire".
College[edit | edit source]
Not being the partying type, Snafugauche didn't have the most "fun" time in college, so he instead became a head janitor at UC Merced, a top school in the UC system. Since he was a smart guy who liked the screw with people, and the janitor, he could have too much fun to handle. He recounts:
"Once in college, being the jackass I was, I took the whole lot of trashcans and dumped it on one of the freshmen dorms, it smelt soo bad, that, after I put all the trashcans back in there places, around 6:30am, the freshmen were wondering why none of the doors would open. Soon, they would realize where that awful smell was coming from, too, Their front lawns! My God, if I could see their faces, I would laugh soo, hard, not that I didn't when I pulled the prank. It took the trash department 2 months to get all the trash out, and 6 months for the smell to float off the buildings. When I look back on it now, I screwed myself over, so yeah, that was the worst part of College."
Present[edit | edit source]
As of present, Snafugauche is someone people look down to rather than up. He really didn't accomblish much and why he is a member of this site is still unknown. Basically, he just sits at home wondering when he can go back to school and pull more pranks. He lives in a no-name town and has to pay rent to a guy who's a janitor at a Janitor's Union, so he's not on the best of times. Anyway, if one was to find out about his really name then he might as well be screwed. (He worked for a top secret organization which experimented on chinchillas to see if they would succumb to peer pressure after one would offer another a slip. The problem was that since the cute fur-balls would off and on attack the tester, must of them would half to be killed. One day a kid went to a local pet shop and found a sack full of tiny hearts and ears of the animal, the pet owner pointed across the street and the corporation was later disposed of. Ironically the owner of the pet store was later found behind an adoption center. So basically stay away from this person, he can't deal with anymore crap in is life, he even got an operation to make sure he couldn't #2, that's how much he hated crap.
What's Next[edit | edit source]
Death basically. He can't wait for it. He was even in that documentary about people who tried to jump off the Golden Gate. So, yeah he's "next" in death's line up.