User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/97
Episode 97: Bathroom (Un)Humour[edit | edit source]
(The episode begins just as the last had ended - sickle fighters surrounding the ship, with everyone in the ship cramped into a tiny bathroom compartment (it dosen's smell like flowers in there...), forced into there by The Doppelganger, disguised as Aquarii.)
Braycat: The scent is strong. The buffalo come.
Dizberg: You're kidding me, right?
(Scene to the cabin. Aquarii: is talking to Darth Communist on radio. Argon File pirates the signal.)
Argon: I'M BURNING CARPS!
Aquarii: Who the hell are you?
Argon: Call me Argon, and as long as you threaten Capitalism I shall burn random objects!
(Scene to the bathroom.)
Adam: It stinks in here!
Everybody inside: WE KNOW!
Froggy: Ew, ribbit.
Shamus: We're going to get out of here.
Nikita: How?
(Shamus rips out the septic tank from underneath where the toilet used to be and places it near the door.)
Shamus: Okay, everyone! Get your asses to the back of the room!
(Everyone but Shamus compacts to the back of the room. Shamus takes a match and lights the top of the septic tank on fire. The door blasts open, though everyone is covered in sewage and shrapnel. Aquarii. hears the explosion)
Aquarii.: Look. Something just happened. I'm going to have to deal with you a little later!
Argon: Just you wait! You don't come back here in five seconds and I will burn Lenin's Mausoleum!
(Aquarii. runs to the scene )
(Everybody is pointing either a rifle, a bow, or a machine gun at Aquarii. Aquarii. sniffs.)
Aquarii: Jesus Christ are you covered in sewage?
Han: No. The sewage is released of the Transport
Aquarri.: Good. I placed Benson and Aquarii in there.
Argon: I'M BURNING ROME!
Aqaurii.: Who cares?
(Shamus butts Aquarii.'s stomach with the blunt end of his rifle. Aquarii. falls to the ground in pain.)
Aquarii.: What are you going to do to me? Send me off into space?
Shamus: I think I'll just send you into that trash compacter.
Aquarii.: Dude, that's a kitchen appliance.
Adam: Yeah, I bought it off Buy mode in Strangetown.
(Shamus stuffs Aquarii. into the trash compacter and launches him on an intercept course with Jupiter)
Aquarii.: This isn't the last time I'll pester you!!!!
Dizberg: Now all we have to do is find Benson and Aquarii...
(Scene to Strangetown commie HQ)
Benson: VILLAIN!
(Aquarii spits at Darth. All of a sudden the door busts open and Argon comes in with a flamethrower on full blast. A trail of flames and dead guards leats behind him)
Argon: I'M BURNING DOWN THE COMMIE BASE!
Darth: Guards! Seize him!
(The guards are burnt to a crisp.)
Argon: I BURN STUFF!
(Argon starts burning chloroform gas canisters in the corner of the room)
Aquarii: Last time on 24!
(Aquarii explodes the only light bulb in the room)
Benson: WHAT KIND OF ACTION MOVE IS THAT?!
(Darth uses the force to puncture a hole in Argon's gas canister)
Argon: No fun!
Darth: Ohhh... There's plenty more where that came from Pyro boy! <Force chokes Argon>
Argon: (Gasping for air)
(Imperial March plays)
Darth: Haha...hahahah-
(The light socket crashes down onto Darth starting to eletrecute him.)
(Switch scenes back to the transport, now in communication with the Peace Corps aboard Corsaire's star destroyer.)
Emmzed: Sickle fighters, three o'clock... and six o'clock... and nine o'clock...
(A communist star cruiser hyperspaces into the area)
Han: Shit. It looks like we've got some bigger problems right now...
(Han closes the connection and gets into his X-Wing. Dizberg and Emmzed man the cannons. A commie fighter with bent sickles comes into view and tails Han.)
Darth: I have you now.
(Darth shoots, credits roll.)
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away...
This script is an episode of
Episodes:
54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60 - 61 - 62 - 63 - 64 - 65 - 66 - 67 - 69 - 70 - 71 - 72 - 73 - 75 - 76 - 77 - 78 - 79 - 80 - 81 - 82 - 83 - 84 - 85 - 86 - 87 - 88 - 89 - 90 - 91 - 95 - 97 - 100 - 102 - 104 - 105 - 106 - 107 - 108 - 109 - 110
Episode lists and summary - List of characters
Spinoffs:
TYATU Guest Episodes:
NOTE: Guest episodes have absolutely no relavance the the plot of TYATU.