User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/61
Episode #61: A Dying Man[edit | edit source]
(Episode starts at a hospital near the Baron's home. Benson is lying down on a hospital bed, bleeding and nearly dead.)
Benson: EVEN...NEAR...DEATH...I...SHALL...STILL...YELL!
Engelsfair: For the love of Communism, STOP YELLING!
(Doctor smacks Engelsfair)
Adam: DONUTS!
(Adam points to an OuroborosDonuts stand)
Dizberg: Yay!
Han: HOW CAN YOU THINK OF DONUTS AT A TIME LIKE THIS???
Nikita: Because they are yummy.
Priest: Because it is the will of God.
Engelsfair: Because it is communism.
(Han punches Engelsfair and knocks him out.)
(Everybody but Han and Benson eats donuts)
(Scene to waiting room. Keira is crying, Braycat conforts her. Emmzeed is smashing his head on the wall. Dr. Supwealuhop arrives on the scene.)
Emmzeed: What's the news?
Keira: Benson, he was a good man, and I have become a Bensonist, but Benson is dying.
Emmzeed: And that is why I am smashing my head against the wall.
Supwealuhop: His condition is stable, but I do not have the curry powder to heal him.
Braycat: There is a spice stand outside.
Engelsfair: A Communist Spice Stand!
(At the spice stand...)
Store owner: I CONTROLS THE SPICE, I CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE.
Braycat: Dunecat, Shoshone brother, we need Curry powder.
Nikita: Are you a Bensonist?
Dunecat: YES. ALSO I CANNOT FINDS THE CURRY POWDER. I HAVE TO WAITS FOR THE CLIPPER DUES IN A FEW MINUTES. WILL MELANGE WORK?
Nikita: Oh no. Rene. Will. Be. Here.
Engelsfair: Are you a communist?
Dunecat: NOES.
(A clipper ship arrives on the scene with a crew and several crates of spices.)
Corsaire: We've got your, how do you say, shipment fresh from French Indochina! Plus, I annex this land to France!
Han: Oh, come on, we fired a torpedo into your ship!
Bystander: Hey! You ran over my house!
Supwealuhop: I've got a patient with deep need for curry powder. Please hurry!
Shamus: I'll be wringing yar li'le French pencil neck if you don't speed up!
Corsaire: For you, I cannot. Troops at maximum capacity.
Dunecat: THE CURRYS IS RIGHT HERE.
Supwealuhop: How much?
Dunecat: ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS.
Supwealuhop: We...we don't have that much money.
Dunecat: EITHER THAT OR A LOAD OF DONUTS!
Sup: Yes! Dizberg! Adam! Come here!
(Shamus shoots Corsaire)
Corsaire: Argh.
Han: I have uhhh, 2 republic credits?
Dunecat: THAT WILL NOT WORKS.
Dizberg: What do you need?
Dunecat: DONUTS. LOTS OF DONUTS.
Emmzed: I can sell the pirate ship I stole!
Dunecat: JUST JOKING ABOUT THE DONUTS.
Priest: It is God's will that Benson is healed.
Healing Grue: MMM!
Priest: Dammit!
(A man in a Hawaiian shirt walks up.)
Brad A. Pacer: Hey guys, I'm lost. Could you tell me where Historical Baron Von Dizberg's mansion is?
Dizberg: WHAT?
Brad: You know, the place where that old Baron supposedly disappeared.
Dizberg: I am Baron Von Dizberg. (shows ID)
Brad: Great. You are under arrest. (shows badge)
Dizberg: For what?
Braycat: It...it can't be! My long lost brother Brad A. Pacer! He had long gone, to live at the village of a White Tribe.
Adam: You will never get Dizberg!
Brad: Actually, you are all under arrest for working with the Mafia and because I don't like you.
(Credits roll)
This script is an episode of
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NOTE: Guest episodes have absolutely no relavance the the plot of TYATU.