User:High Gen. Grue/TYATU/71
Episode 71: The Pentagon Goes BOOM![edit | edit source]
(The episode starts out on a Taepodong missile.)
Engelsfair: Thanks to COMMUNISM, we'll get to Baron Von Dizberg's mansion in no time!
(Suddenly, a clipper crashes through the missile.)
Corsaire: I hereby annex this missle for the French monarchy!
Han: You fool, now we'll crash and asplode! To death!
Engelsfair: This is a dud missle.
Han: No, it is not.
Rene: Er, oops?
Engelsfair: Er, the enemies have launched a nuke at us.
(Switch scenes to Pentagon)
Person: Robert, I don't think you should have launched a nuke.
Robert: I didn't...there is a traitor here.
(Back to the missile)
Engelsfair: Using COMMUNISM, I can steer this away from the nuke.
(Engelsfair uses communist pamphlets to steer the missile, avoiding the nuke, which goes in space. Han immediately punches Engelsfair.)
Engelsfair and Ronalds: Lets have a COMMUNIST PARTY!
Han: That pun is horrid!
(Han punches Ronalds and Engelsfair)
(Froggy shifts his eyes from left to right)
Froggy: Ribbit...
(Back to the pentagon)
Person: Kim Jong-Il is not responding to our messages.
Robert: Try again, dammit! We've got an international crisis on our front lawn!
Person: Should we alert the UN?
Robert: They're already alerted. We need to scapegoat this whole situation on one person.
Person: But who?
Robert: Bush! Noone will care if we pin it on him. Call for a press conference!
Person: Yessir.
Operator: Mwa ha ha!
Robert: We have a scapegoat!
(Back to the missle. The commies are singing about communism. Han has been painted red with hammers and sickles)
Han: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGHHHH!!!
Rene: I annex COMMUNISM to the Monarchy!
Nikita: Boy, we do have a lot of COMMUNISM!
Engelsfair: Look, we're approaching our final destination!
Han: I'M FUCKING PAINTED IN HAMMERS AND SICKLES!
(Engelsfair punches Han)
Adam: How about some Communist Donuts!?!
Everyone but Han: YEAH COMMUNISM!
(Back at the Pentagon. Blaning and Starnes are attacking. A few dead people are around.)
Guard: We have a problem her...
(Guard shot by Blaning)
(Brad comes in)
Brad: You are under arrest!
Starnes: Yeah right.
(Starnes shoots Brad, nearly killing him)
(Starnes grabs computers. Robert Gates shoots Starnes and Blaning.)
Robert: Over my dead body you're getting my porn collection!
(Blaning shoots Robert, nearly killing him, Starnes grabs computers, and Blaning kills some people.)
Starnes: This is turning out to be a good partnership. I lack in fighting ability and the ability to come back to life, you lack in stealing ability, but together we make up for our flaws.
Blaning: Yep.
(Blaning shoots a cop who came in. Scene is now the Oval Office.)
Bush: I say the country should now be put in Red Alert because of the terrorist attack on the Pentasquare, and because I am the Decider!
(Scene switches to the Pentagon.)
(Shamus shows up, wielding two machine guns and a crazed look.)
Shamus: So, you've decided to reveal yourself, Starnes. Welcome to the motherfuckin' jungle, and now you're gonna DIE!!!
(Shamus screams and opens fire. Blaning is shot in the neck and dies, but mysteriously doesn't come back to life. Starnes is shot in the chest and lies on the ground, bleeding. The screaming sound of the missile starts to get louder and louder. Credits roll while a giant explosion is heard.)
This script is an episode of
Episodes:
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Episode lists and summary - List of characters
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NOTE: Guest episodes have absolutely no relavance the the plot of TYATU.