User:Fish on skates/You should talk about Boston - A letter to Turb0-Sunrise

February 15, 2026,

Dear Mr. Sunrise,

It has come to my attention that you are the most chronically online Uncyclopedian running for the adminship. I want you to know, you have my support. Your plan to fix Uncyclopedia is ingenious. Your past experience as an ambassador to the Spoon during the SPIKE administration shows you are ready to deal with threats from admins far more readily than any other candidate. Plus, your experience as the UnSignpost everythinger shows you are the only person ready to deal with the upcoming crisis in this website.

I see almost no way you could possibly lose the upcoming VFS. That is, unless Gergdown decides to finally run for admin! But, come on, if he was ever fit for the mop, it would have been in 2025! No, I'm sure he'll never run. And that Fish on skates girl doesn't stand a chance against you. You've got this vote locked up. Trust me.

But, I have noticed you have neglected one crucial voting block in this country. Women. Don't worry, though. I have a foolproof way to lock up the female vote.

You should talk about Boston.

Even this random sports guy loves Boston. All women want to be this random sports guy. Or, they all want to make fun of his tattoo.

We all know that women love Boston. Just go and look at any six year old girl's Christmas list. What is the one thing you see each on each of them? No, not Barbies. Look closer. Not at the girls, at their Christmas lists! Now, tell me, what do you see? That's right. They all want to move to Boston. Even that little New Yorker girl. Not the one who has that dog. The one who lives across the street from the crazy foreigner. Yeah, that's the one!

Just think about that for a second. How many of them do you think will get to move to Boston? Six, maybe seven? This wish to move to Boston will stay with most women for their entire lives. They'd do anything to go to Boston. All you have to do is promise a Bostonian citizenship to every woman who votes for you. When you become admin, you can just claim that was just them imagining you said that. They'll forget after about a week or so, anyway.

Just think about it. Don't let Gergdown beat you to it. If he makes that promise, you'll be screwed. You gotta beat him to it. His ex-wives have all been exiled to Boston, for-Christ-sakes! You gotta make the promise first!

Hell, it'll help you secure the gay vote, too! Gay men love Boston!

Sincerely,

Fish on skates - Super-teen extraordinaire

*P.S. I heard you plan for your campaign rally call to be Yes we can. That's stupid. Don't use it.

**P.P.S. Women also tend to love guys with beards. Grey, scruffy ones! Also, they love it when men get a little chubby. It makes them feel better about themselves. You should do it. You know, just grow a grey beard and gain some weight. Trust me. You'll thank me later.

***P.P.P.S. I heard from someone that you're a sockpuppet of DaniPine3. I punched him in the nose. There's no WAY a guy named Turb0-Sunrise is a sock.

Turb0's response

Yes! YANKEES SUCK!