Crazy foreigner down the street

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Your crazy neighbor, charged with 300 counts of belching at 3:00am
Shot your fuck up!

Crazy foreigner down the street on crack

Oh ho ho! Is funny 'cause that's not how American pronounce it!

Other crazy foreigner down the street on the previous quote

In Soviet Russia, Foreigner fears YOU!!

Russian Reversal on Crazy Foreigner down the street

The crazy foreigner down the street moved into the neighborhood recently. He lives in an old house where a nice old man who used live. That old man used to offer the boys on the street candy, but one day the police showed up at the old man's house and took him away for impromptuing, or something like that. You were just about to ask your mother where he went when a moving van pulled up and these people who were wearing their bedsheets started ordering the movers around. Your mother said they were from another country, and that you shouldn't try to talk to them or go near the house because the man of the house looked crazy. You asked her which country he was from, but your mom said she didn't know and go wash your hands before supper was ready.

The prick.

His Personality and Appearance[edit]

The crazy foreigner acts very strangely. He never seems to come out of his house wearing anything except a gross old stained Hanes underwear tee and a pair of boxer shorts. He has a lot of hair which never seems to be washed, an untrimmed mustache, and coarse, black hair all over his body. In the few times when you've been close to him, you've determined that he smells like the bathroom at school, especially after the fat kid has been in there on tuna salad day.

He mows his lawn every day even though there's no grass left on it, uses loud power tools all night long, and saws boards in half for no reason -- he's definitely not building anything.

Whenever you go near his house, you smell some kind of weird spice that burns your nose, but you've learned not to go near his house. If you do, he races out onto his porch in his stained underwear and screams a nonsensical combination of English and some other language at you. He knows all the English cursewords, but he can't use them right.

The Fourth of July Incident[edit]

The crazy foreigner's house, where he runs power tools all hours of the night and saws boards in half for no reason. It smells like a combination of curry and infant diarrhea.

Last year, on the Fourth of July, when you and your dad were setting off fireworks, he ran out his house and screamed, "Eat my fuck! You are bastard man, I getting to calling policia!" at the two of you. Your dad said he was going to make a call, and the next day a van showed up with the letters "INS" on it.

After that, the crazy foreigner guy disappeared for a few days, but then he came back. Whenever he sees you, he waves his circle saw at you menacingly and shouts, "Ha ha, I tricks you, you dumb cook!" Some of your other neighbors called the police on him, but you think the police might be in on it with him -- like they're from the same can't-speak-English country he's from. They just stand in the lawn and laugh and talk to him, all the while he's of course sawing boards in half for no reason.

Even though he doesn't have any living grass or flowers around his house, he always seems to come home with lots of fertilizer from the Home Depot. He doesn't keep it in his yard our around his house. Sometimes you wonder if he has a garden inside his house.

Keep an eye on your womans[edit]

Almost universally, the crazy foreigner up the street will take a special interest in the women in the neighborhood, who he refers to as "you woman", "you womans" and "your womans". In a situation where conversation with a female who lives on your street might occur, he begins all of his sentences with "In my country..."

Whenever he sees them out and working in their yards, he's been known to approach them from behind, drip some of his natural sweat on them to announce his arrival, and then state "In my country, you would be treated like one of my many princesses." He has also reportedly told one woman on your street that "In my country I could sell you for a water oxen and two goats for breeding."

When asked about his wife, who no one will ever see without her native dress on (making her appear like a lavender clad Cousin Itt), the foreigner has but one witty retort: "Ez none of yer beesness." This is especially true after first moving to the neighborhood he asked your father "What tree gives best branch for whipping your wife to use on her?"

What did Jew do?[edit]

For relaxation, crazy foreigner males are known to sit on the front porch and use a hookah, which really is an unsanitary thing for these guys to do. Its also ironic that while they have no qualms wrapping their lips around the same mouth piece, they would never consider wrapping their mouths around any part of their buddies bodies.

There is always an uneasy feeling when they’re out there, because of the way they look anyone else doing anything else, like cutting the lawn or hanging out. Its like their scoping everyone out to figure out which of the neighbors they could sell for three goats – two for breeding and one to make sweet love to.

They think everybody on your block is Jewish. They’re always making cracks like “Hey, Jew, geet off my landskepping,” and “Jew know what, I no like Jew.”



"Family members"
Parents and children: My mother - Your mother - My father - Your father - Parents - My daughter - Your daughter - My son - Your son

Siblings and half-siblings: My sister - Your sister - My brother - Your brother - My half-sister - Your half-sister - My half-brother - Your half-brother

Grandparents and grandchildren: My grandmother - Your grandmother - Your grandmother of underwear - My grandfather - Your grandfather - My granddaughter - Your granddaughter - My grandson - Your grandson

Too much ancestors and descendants: My great-grandmother - Your great-grandmother - My great-grandfather - Your great-grandfather - My great-granddaughter - Your great-granddaughter - My great-grandson - Your great-grandson - My great-great-grandmother - Your great-great-grandmother - My great-great-grandfather - Your great-great-grandfather - My great-great-granddaughter - Your great-great-granddaughter - My great-great-grandson - Your great-great-grandson - My great-great-great-grandmother - Your great-great-great-grandmother - My great-great-great-grandfather - Your great-great-great-grandfather - My great-great-great-granddaughter - Your great-great-great-granddaughter - My great-great-great-grandson - Your great-great-great-grandson

Collateral relatives: My aunt - Your aunt - My uncle - Your uncle - My niece - Your niece - My nephew - Your nephew - My grandaunt - Your grandaunt - My granduncle - Your granduncle - My grandniece - Your grandniece - My grandnephew - Your grandnephew - My great-grandaunt - Your great-grandaunt - My great-granduncle - Your great-granduncle - My great-grandniece - Your great-grandniece - My great-grandnephew - Your great-grandnephew - My great-great-grandaunt - Your great-great-grandaunt - My great-great-granduncle - Your great-great-granduncle - My great-great-grandniece - Your great-great-grandniece - My great-great-grandnephew - Your great-great-grandnephew - My half-aunt - Your half-aunt - My half-uncle - Your half-uncle - My half-niece - Your half-niece - My half-nephew - Your half-nephew - My half-grandaunt - Your half-grandaunt - My half-granduncle - Your half-granduncle - My half-grandniece - Your half-grandniece - My half-grandnephew - Your half-grandnephew

Friends: My friend - Your friend - My best friend - Your best friend

Members of the family who we have no opinion: My 1C1R - Your 1C1R - My 1C2R - Your 1C2R - My aunt-in-law - Your aunt-in-law - My uncle-in-law - Your uncle-in-law - My niece-in-law - Your niece-in-law - My nephew-in-law - Your nephew-in-law - My grandaunt-in-law - Your grandaunt-in-law - My granduncle-in-law - Your granduncle-in-law - My grandniece-in-law - Your grandniece-in-law - My grandnephew-in-law - Your grandnephew-in-law - My stepaunt - Your stepaunt - My stepuncle - Your stepuncle - My stepgrandaunt - Your stepgrandaunt - My stepgranduncle - Your stepgranduncle - My stepniece - Your stepniece - My stepnephew - Your stepnephew - My stepgrandniece - Your stepgrandniece - My stepgrandnephew - Your stepgrandnephew - My co-aunt-in-law - Your co-aunt-in-law - My co-uncle-in-law - Your co-uncle-in-law - My co-niece-in-law - Your co-niece-in-law - My co-nephew-in-law - Your co-nephew-in-law - My grandaunt-in-law - Your co-grandaunt-in-law - My co-granduncle-in-law - Your co-granduncle-in-law - My co-grandniece-in-law - Your co-grandniece-in-law - My co-grandnephew-in-law - Your co-grandnephew-in-law - My half-1C1R - Your half-1C1R - My sesqui-1C1R - Your sesqui-1C1R - My double-1C1R - Your double-1C1R - My 1C1R-in-law - Your 1C1R-in-law - My half-1C1R-in-law - Your half-1C1R-in-law - My sesqui-1C1R-in-law - Your sesqui-1C1R-in-law - My double-1C1R-in-law - Your double-1C1R-in-law - My co-1C1R-in-law - Your co-1C1R-in-law - My half-co-1C1R-in-law - Your half-co-1C1R-in-law - My sesqui-co-1C1R-in-law - Your sesqui-co-1C1R-in-law - My double-co-1C1R-in-law - Your double-co-1C1R-in-law - My stepaunt-in-law - Your stepaunt-in-law - My stepuncle-in-law - Your stepuncle-in-law - My stepgrandaunt-in-law - Your stepgrandaunt-in-law - My stepgranduncle-in-law - Your stepgranduncle-in-law - My stepniece-in-law - Your stepniece-in-law - My stepnephew-in-law - Your stepnephew-in-law - My stepgrandniece-in-law - Your stepgrandniece-in-law - My stepgrandnephew-in-law - Your stepgrandnephew-in-law - My co-stepaunt-in-law - Your co-stepaunt-in-law - My co-stepuncle-in-law - Your co-stepuncle-in-law - My co-stepgrandaunt-in-law - Your co-stepgrandaunt-in-law - My co-stepgranduncle-in-law - Your co-stepgranduncle-in-law - My co-stepniece-in-law - Your co-stepniece-in-law - My co-stepnephew-in-law - Your co-stepnephew-in-law - My co-stepgrandniece-in-law - Your co-stepgrandniece-in-law - My co-stepgrandnephew-in-law - Your co-stepgrandnephew-in-law - My 1C2R-in-law - Your 1C2R-in-law - My co-1C2R-in-law - Your co-1C2R-in-law - My 2C1R - Your 2C1R - My 2C1R-in-law - Your 2C1R-in-law - My co-2C1R-in-law - Your co-2C1R-in-law - My great-grandaunt-in-law - Your great-grandaunt-in-law - My great-granduncle-in-law - Your great-granduncle-in-law - My great-grandniece-in-law - Your great-grandniece-in-law - My great-grandnephew-in-law - Your great-grandnephew-in-law - My co-great-grandaunt-in-law - Your co-great-grandaunt-in-law - My co-great-granduncle-in-law - Your co-great-granduncle-in-law - My co-great-grandniece-in-law - Your co-great-grandniece-in-law - My co-great-grandnephew-in-law - Your co-great-grandnephew-in-law - My step-1C1R - Your step-1C1R - My step-1C1R-in-law - Your step-1C1R-in-law - My co-step-1C1R-in-law - Your first co-step-1C1R-in-law - My great-great-grandaunt-in-law - Your great-great-grandaunt-in-law - My great-great-granduncle-in-law - Your great-great-granduncle-in-law - My great-great-grandniece-in-law - Your great-great-grandniece-in-law - My great-great-grandnephew-in-law - Your great-great-grandnephew-in-law - My co-great-great-grandaunt-in-law - Your co-great-great-grandaunt-in-law - My co-great-great-granduncle-in-law - Your co-great-great-granduncle-in-law - My co-great-great-grandniece-in-law - Your co-great-great-grandniece-in-law - My co-great-great-grandnephew-in-law - Your co-great-great-grandnephew-in-law - My 1C3R - Your 1C3R - My 1C3R-in-law - Your 1C3R-in-law - My co-1C3R-in-law - Your co-1C3R-in-law - My 2C2R - Your 2C2R - My 2C2R-in-law - Your 2C2R-in-law - My co-2C2R-in-law - Your co-2C2R-in-law - My 3C1R - Your 3C1R - My 3C1R-in-law - Your 3C1R-in-law - My co-3C1R-in-law - Your co-3C1R-in-law

Members of the family for sexual bitching: My cousin - Your cousin - My girlfriend - Your girlfriend - My fiancée - Your fiancée - My wife - Your wife - Lover - Hook up - Affair - Crush - Boyfriend - Fiancé - Husband - My sister-in-law - Your sister-in-law - My brother-in-law - Your brother-in-law - My co-sister-in-law - Your co-sister-in-law - My co-brother-in-law - Your co-brother-in-law - My cousin-in-law - Your cousin-in-law - My co-cousin-in-law - Your co-cousin-in-law - My stepsister - Your stepsister - My stepbrother - Your stepbrother - My stepcousin - Your stepcousin - My 2C - My 2C - My secretary - Your secretary - My intern - Your intern - My stepsister-in-law - Your stepsister-in-law - My stepbrother-in-law - Your stepbrother-in-law - My co-stepsister-in-law - Your co-stepsister-in-law - My co-stepbrother-in-law - Your co-stepbrother-in-law - My half-cousin - Your half-cousin - My sesqui-cousin - Your sesqui-cousin - My double-cousin - Your double-cousin - My half-sister-in-law - Your half-sister-in-law - My half-brother-in-law - Your half-brother-in-law - My half-co-sister-in-law - Your half-co-sister-in-law - My half-co-brother-in-law - Your half-co-brother-in-law - My half-2C - Your half-2C - My sesqui-2C - Your sesqui-2C - My double-2C - Your double-2C - My sester-2C - Your sester-2C - My triple-2C - Your triple-2C - My sesqua-2C - Your sesqua-2C - My quadruple-2C - Your quadruple-2C - My 2C-in-law - Your 2C-in-law - My co-2C-in-law - Your co-2C-in-law - My stepcousin-in-law - Your stepcousin-in-law - My co-stepcousin-in-law - Your co-stepcousin-in-law - My half-cousin-in-law - Your half-cousin-in-law - My sesqui-cousin-in-law - Your sesqui-cousin-in-law - My double-cousin-in-law - Your double-cousin-in-law - My half-co-cousin-in-law - Your half-co-cousin-in-law - My sesqui-co-cousin-in-law - Your sesqui-co-cousin-in-law - My double-co-cousin-in-law - Your double-co-cousin-in-law - My step-2C - Your step-2C - My 3C - Your 3C - My 3C-in-law - Your 3C-in-law - My co-3C-in-law - Your co-3C-in-law - My step-2C-in-law - Your step-2C-in-law - My co-step-2C-in-law - Your co-step-2C-in-law - My 4C - Your 4C - My 4C-in-law - Your 4C-in-law - My co-4C-in-law - Your co-4C-in-law

Members of the family that came from hell: My mother-in-law - Your mother-in-law - My father-in-law - Your father-in-law - My stepmother - Your stepmother - My stepfather - Your stepfather - My co-mother-in-law - Your co-mother-in-law - My co-father-in-law - Your co-father-in-law - My daughter-in-law - Your daughter-in-law - My son-in-law - My son-in-law - My stepdaughter - Your stepdaughter - My stepson - Your stepson - My stepmother-in-law - Your stepmother-in-law - My stepfather-in-law - Your stepfather-in-law - My stepgrandmother - Your stepgrandmother - My stepgrandfather - Your stepgrandfather - My step-great-grandmother - Your step-great-grandmother - My step-great-grandfather - Your step-great-grandfather - My step-great-great-grandmother - Your step-great-great-grandmother - My step-great-great-grandfather - Your step-great-great-grandfather - My stepgranddaughter - Your stepgranddaughter - My stepgrandson - Your stepgrandson - My stepdaughter-in-law - Your stepdaughter-in-law - My stepson-in-law - Your stepson-in-law - My step-great-granddaughter - Your step-great-granddaughter - My step-great-grandson - Your step-great-grandson - My step-great-great-granddaughter - Your step-great-great-granddaughter - My step-great-great-grandson - Your step-great-great-grandson - My apartment manager - Your apartment manager - My neighbor - Your neighbor - My ex-girlfriend - Your ex-girlfriend - My ex-fiancée - Your ex-fiancée - My ex-wife - Your ex-wife - Ex-boyfriend - Ex-fiancé - Ex-husband - My enemy - Your enemy - Ex-love of current love - Current love of ex-love - My ex-friend - Your ex-friend - My boss - Your boss - My co-aunt - Your co-aunt - My co-uncle - Your co-uncle - My grandmother-in-law - Your grandmother-in-law - My grandfather-in-law - Your grandfather-in-law - My granddaughter-in-law - Your granddaughter-in-law - My grandson-in-law - Your grandson-in-law - My great-grandmother-in-law - Your great-grandmother-in-law - My great-grandfather-in-law - Your great-grandfather-in-law - My great-granddaughter-in-law - Your great-granddaughter-in-law - My great-grandson-in-law - Your great-grandson-in-law - My great-great-grandmother-in-law - Your great-great-grandmother-in-law - My great-great-grandfather-in-law - Your great-great-grandfather-in-law - My great-great-granddaughter-in-law - Your great-great-granddaughter-in-law - My great-great-grandson-in-law - Your great-great-grandson-in-law - My stepgrandmother-in-law - Your stepgrandmother-in-law - My stepgrandfather-in-law - Your stepgrandfather-in-law - My step-great-grandmother-in-law - Your step-great-grandmother-in-law - My step-great-grandfather-in-law - Your step-great-grandfather-in-law - My step-great-great-grandmother-in-law - Your step-great-great-grandmother-in-law - My step-great-great-grandfather-in-law - Your step-great-great-grandfather-in-law - My stepgranddaughter-in-law - Your stepgranddaughter-in-law - My stepgrandson-in-law - Your stepgrandson-in-law - My step-great-granddaughter-in-law - Your step-great-granddaughter-in-law - My step-great-grandson-in-law - Your step-great-grandson-in-law - My step-great-great-granddaughter-in-law - Your step-great-great-granddaughter-in-law - My step-great-great-grandson-in-law - Your step-great-great-grandson-in-law - My great-great-great-grandmother-in-law - Your great-great-great-grandmother-in-law - My great-great-great-grandfather-in-law - Your great-great-great-grandfather-in-law - My great-great-great-granddaughter-in-law - Your great-great-great-granddaughter-in-law - My great-great-great-grandson-in-law - Your great-great-great-grandson-in-law

Adopted members of the family: My adopted-mother - Your adopted-mother - My adopted-father - Your adopted-father - My adopted-sister - Your adopted-sister - My adopted-brother - Your adopted-brother - My adopted-daughter - Your adopted-daughter - My adopted-son - Your adopted-son

Other members of the family: My godmother - Your godmother - My godfather - Your godfather - My goddaughter - Your goddaughter - My godson - Your godson - My housekeeper - Your housekeeper - My teacher - Your teacher - My nanny - Your nanny - My coworker - Your coworker - My classmate - Your classmate - My lawyer - Your lawyer - My doctor - Your doctor

Pets: My dog - Your dog - My cat - Your cat - My parrot - Your parrot - My hamster - Your hamster - My turtle - Your turtle - My crocodile - Your crocodile - My snake - Your snake - My fish - Your fish

Relateds: You - I