User:Ben Grimm/James Madison
James Madison | |
|---|---|
 | |
| 4th President | |
| Vice President | Snoopy |
| Preceded by | Thomas Jefferson |
| Succeeded by | James Monroe |
| Personal details | |
| Born |
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| Nationality | american |
| Political party | Tastycrat-Fingerlican |
| Spouse | Dolly Madison |
James Madison was an American cartoonist and advertising whore, as well as the fourth President of the United States.
Early Rise to Fame[edit | edit source]
James Madison grew fat and lazy off of his wife Dolly's snack cake business. A giant of a man, standing nearly eight feet tall and weighing over two metric tons at the time of his death, Madison was eventually unable even to move under his own power. He owed his vast size to certain mutagenic properties in some of the ingredients that remain in his wife's recipes to this day.
Cartooning[edit | edit source]
In 1950, Madison created the hugely popular comic strip Cashews. He used his earnings from this strip to become one of the greatest advertising whores in American history. His advertising earnins allowed him to found a variety of companies, including Met Life, and invent Cheerios.
Presidency[edit | edit source]
Despite his freakish appearance, Madison was elected president of the United States after devouring his Federalist opponent Charles Pinckney whole during their second presidential debate. During his presidency, some stuff happened, but nothing really important.
Father of the Constitution[edit | edit source]
Madison is known as the "Father of the Constitution," primarily because most of the actual framers of the constitution were his illegitimate children by a variety of women.
| Preceded by: Thomas Jefferson |
President of the United States 1950-2000 AD |
Succeeded by: James Monroe |
| Mythical United States Presidents |
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1st Eris Discordia → George Washington Carver → Billie Jean → Ruby Tuesday → Escape Key → Spark Notes → Jayson Blair → Garfield → Elvis Presley → 10th Thomas Jefferson → Michael Jordan → Ronald McDonald → Doris Day → Ayn Rand → Kermit the Frog → Teddy Ruxpin → Aretha Franklin → King Kong → Barbie → 20th Escape Key (2) → Fillard Millmore → Grover Cleveland → Harper Lee → Grover Cleveland (2) → Beetle Bailey → Grover Cleveland (3) → Abraham Lincoln → Chevy Trailblazer → Elton John → 30th The Unknown Bassist → Satan → Nicole Ritchie → Billy Ocean → Calvin Coolidge → Tom Cruise → Charles Nelson Reilly → Bill Clinton → George W. Bush → 40th Dick Cheney → Saddam Hussein → Ashlee Simpson → Emmanuel Lewis → Calvin Klein → John Kerry → Lyndon Baines Johnson → Jerry Seinfeld → Oprah Harpo 5932 → Bill Clinton v 2.0 → 50th Zsa Zsa Gabor → Madonna → Me → Your mom → Jesus H. Christ → Teeth → 56th Bob |