User:Bad Motherfucker/sandbox
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D. B Cooper[edit | edit source]
D. B. Cooper was a badass who hijacked Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 305. Cooper boarded the flight with a suitcase full of nuclear fission, announced to everybody on board that he has a portable nuke, to which nobody cared. Feeling ignored and frustrated, Cooper opened the emergency exit and shoved a flight attendant out of the plane, that got everyone's attention, and Cooper demanded $250,000 (equivalent to one trillion dollars in 2023).
Trump vs. Biden[edit | edit source]
 Promotional poster | |||||||||||||||||||
| Date | November 6, 2020 | ||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Venue | White House, Washington D. C. | ||||||||||||||||||
| Title(s) on the line | POTUS | ||||||||||||||||||
| Tale of the tape | |||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||
| Result | |||||||||||||||||||
| Joe Biden wins via 10th-round knockout | |||||||||||||||||||
Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden, billed as Capitol Punishment was an undisputed president-elect championship boxing match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden, that took place on Tuesday, November 6, 2020, on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, D.C. The South Lawn was briefly renamed the "Presidential Lawn," for the fight. It sounds fancier.
The fight is often regarded as the biggest moment in American politics history, and arguably the most publicized sporting event of all time. It's estimated that the total viewership for this fight was 3.7 billion. It was the first time two presidents ever fought each other with their fists and not their words.
The bout was highly anticipated by many people all over the globe, including American citizens that were non-sports fans and also weren't into politics.
Biden won in 6 rounds by knockout. Trump had to deal with the backlash that came from getting his ass beat by his opponent.
Background[edit | edit source]
Biden, who had been undisputed vice president from 2009 - 2017, was looking to succeed Barack Obama after Obama's term limit was up, and become the undisputed president of the United States by defeating Trump. Trump, who had been the reigning undisputed president, was looking to defend his title from the top contender Joe Biden.
Ringside seats were priced in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, and famous celebrities and world leaders attended the fight. In addition to the billions of people watching on television and streaming services, the area surrounding the White House was extremely packed and caused heavy congestion.
While both men were training for the fight, Biden's team claimed he had an outstanding jab that was quick and powerful. Trump's team claimed that he had a powerful left hook and reportedly dropped many sparring partners.
Fight[edit | edit source]
On the day of the match, Washington D. C. had a circus-like atmosphere, with police and the National Guard surrounding the White House, as well as other places in D. C. in an effort to keep everything peaceful. Countless celebrities were at the fight. Queen Elizabeth II had a ringside seat. O. J. Simpson was the color commentator for the fight, Simpson faced backlash for his commentating performance because at random points during the broadcast because he would say, "I didn't do it." The Jackass crew reunited to perform stunts in the White House, which included Steve-O defecating on the chair in the Oval Office.
The fight exceeded many people's expectations, as people were picturing a very slow and dull match between two old people. However, this was not the case as instead the fight was full of action and resembled a professional boxing match.
Biden dominated the first three rounds by peppering Trump with his jab. Trump would try to close in on Biden but was kept at bay with the jab.
In the fourth round, Trump started using his footwork to get Biden into the ring corner. Trump would throw uppercuts and show off his left hook. Trump dropped Biden with a nice left hook that landed right on the jaw. Biden rose back up before the ten count and was saved by the bell.
From the fourth round to the seventh round, Trump was dominating the fight. His left hook was causing some damage to Biden, which opened up a cut on his eyebrow in the fifth round, and was also causing swelling in Biden's right eye. However, these constant power punches starting tiring Trump, who was starting to become more visibly tired after the seventh round. Biden started targeting Trump's body. Using quick jabs and crosses to Trump's body to counter his high guard, Trump was gradually worn down by Biden's body shots and went down in the ninth round. Trump barely managed to beat the ten count. Going into the tenth round, it seemed Trump was absolutely gassed out. Biden kept working the body and eventually caught Trump with a powerful uppercut that landed on his chin. Trump dropped to the ground and attempted to get back up, but only managed to get on one knee by the time the referee counted to ten.
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
Riots immediately broke out after Biden's victory. A chair was thrown into the ring after the knockout, which hit Biden in the head and required stitches. Queen Elizabeth was trampled and was hospitalized for a month. Secret Service escorted Biden out of the area and to a hospital for his head wound. People upset at the outcome stormed the White House and started vandalizing the building and started assaulting Secret Service agents, guards, officers and National Guardsmen. A group of people broke into the Oval Office and stole the desk, the Grandfather clock, and the chair, still covered in Steve-O's shit. Paintings were taken off the wall and afterwards the entire office looked bare bones. The police and National Guard were given permission to use deadly force.
Presidential Football Classic[edit | edit source]
We Weren't Soldiers[edit | edit source]
I'd Like to Make a Withdrawal[edit | edit source]
fake heist movie filled with cliches i want to make - directed by quentin tarantino
DOG:
Mitt Romney vs. Evander Holyfield[edit | edit source]
actual fight that happened
Cassius Clay vs. Muhammad Ali[edit | edit source]
Cassius Clay vs. Muhammad Ali (billed as
Full Metal Jackin'[edit | edit source]
PVT. PYLE: Hey Joker, wanna see a magic trick?
PVT. JOKER: Sure. What is it, Leonard?
PVT. JOKER: *laughs* That's a good one, Pyle!
VIET FUCKIN' NAM![edit | edit source]
Pulp-Free Fiction[edit | edit source]
VINCENT VEGA: You know what they call a Royale with Cheese in Europe?
JULES WINNFIELD: Nah, what?
VINCENT VEGA: Quarter pounder with cheese.
JULES WINNFIELD: Quarter pounder with cheese, heh. What do they call a Le Big Mac?
VINCENT VEGA: Le Big Mac's a Le Big Mac, but over there they call it Big Mac.
JULES WINNFIELD: Big Mac, huh. What do they call a Whopper?
VINCENT VEGA: I dunno, I didn't go into a KFC. But, you know what they put on french fries in Holland?
JULES WINNFIELD: What's that?
VINCENT VEGA: Ketchup.
JULES WINNFIELD: Goddamn!
VINCENT VEGA: I seen 'em do it, man! They fuckin' drown it in that shit!
JULES WINNFIELD: That's some nasty shit, man.
VINCENT VEGA: That's what I'm say-
JULES WINNFIELD: Ah man, I hit somebody with the car.
VINCENT VEGA: Why the fuck did you do that?
JULES WINNFIELD: I probably hit a bump, or the brakes failed or something!
VINCENT VEGA: The car didn't hit no motherfuckin' bump! I seen some crazy ass shit in my time, but this...
(They discover that the man they hit is their boss, MARSELLUS WALLACE. JULES and VINCENT run off.)
FLASHBACK[edit | edit source]
MARSELLUS WALLACE: Take a dive in your next fight.
BUTCH COOLIDGE: Are you kidding me? That might derail my career!
MARSELLUS WALLACE: Maybe this will change your mind...
(MARSELLUS opens a briefcase, which is filled with porno magazines, BUTCH starts drooling)
BUTCH COOLIDGE: You got yourself a damn deal.
(MARSELLUS smiles)
MARSELLUS WALLACE: Here's a little something else, too.
(MARSELLUS hands BUTCH a box of Viagra)
MARSELLUS WALLACE: If boners last for more than four hours, call more ladies!
(BUTCH and MARSELLUS stand up and shake hands, with BUTCH's boner visible. BUTCH immediately pops a Viagra and sprints off with the briefcase)
BUTCH'S FIGHT[edit | edit source]
BUTCH COOLIDGE: Coach, I don't think I can go out there...
BUTCH's COACH: What? Why the hell not? What's the matter?
(BUTCH stands up to reveal what might possibly be the world's biggest boner. Ever.)
BUTCH's COACH: Is that a boner in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
BUTCH COOLIDGE: What?
BUTCH's COACH: What?
BUTCH COOLIDGE: What the fuck am I gonna do?
BUTCH's COACH: There's only one option... we have to cut it off..
Louisiana Hacksaw Bloodbath[edit | edit source]
texas chainsaw massacre rewrite
Operation Payback[edit | edit source]
Operation Payback was a United States led operation during the War on Terror, which took place on November 9, 2001 (11/9). The main purpose of the operation was to kill as many Osama bin Laden lookalikes as possible. It involved flying Boeing 767s into buildings everywhere in the Middle East.
Colonel Sanders[edit | edit source]
| Harland David Sanders | |
|---|---|
 Colonel Sanders after bombing a small Vietnamese village. | |
| Nickname | Fat Boy, Lard Ass, Fat Cunt, Wide Load, Ham Butt |
| Allegiance | Kentucky |
| Service/branch | Kentucky Fried Chicken |
| Years of service | Possibly infinite |
| Rank | Colonel |
| Unit | 69th Chicken Division |
| Battles/wars | All of them |
| Awards | Medal of Honor (19x) |
Colonel Harland David Sanders (???? - ????) was an officer in the United States Army who served in World War I, World War II, World War III, Korean War, Vietnam War, Gulf War, War in Afghanistan, War on Christmas, War on Humour, War on Tourism, War on Drugs, War on Microsoft, and the War on some drugs.
Debejiah[edit | edit source]
(meth manufacturer, gambler, criminal, race car driver, drug dealer, bank robber|remove when article is done) Debejiah (1942 - 1974) was an Amish man who was a pioneer of extreme horse and buggy racing, as well as a part-time criminal who committed many violent acts. Debejiah was also one of the founding members of NASCAR. At fourteen years old, he started illegally racing horse and buggies with other mischievous youth. Eventually, Debejiah and others began gambling on the races.
Early life[edit | edit source]
When Debejiah was seven years old, he made his first
Waco (video game)[edit | edit source]
Waco is a first person shooter RPG game, developed by David Branch. It was originally released on October 17, 2012 for the Xbox 360, and eventually ported to the PC. However, due to high demand and popularity, it was also remastered for the Xbox One and PlayStation 5 on the 28th anniversary of the Waco siege. The game has received critical acclaim for its realism and gameplay, and was nominated and won several gaming awards. It has since been regarded as a cult classic. No pun intended.
The game is obviously set at Mount Carmel Center in Waco, Texas. Gamers can choose single-player, co-op, multiplayer, or survival mode.
Single-player[edit | edit source]
If the player chooses to play single-player, they will play the campaign mode. It starts out on the first day of the siege, and players can choose to play as David Koresh or an ATF agent. The game is split into 51 chapters, each representing the amount of days the siege lasted for. However, for a successful completion of the campaign, the player can not die a single time, or else all of their progress will reset and a death scene will play. A newspaper and news story will show on the screen, with multiple possibilities regarding the content, depending on which day the player died, and how they died.
Co-op[edit | edit source]
Players can create a team of up to four people and either play as the Branch Davidians, or as the ATF.
Multiplayer[edit | edit source]
Survival mode[edit | edit source]
Survival mode can either be played by one person or up to a group of ten people. You will always play as the Branch Davidians and gain points for completing certain objectives and surviving days. Once a player dies, they will not be brought back until the game has ended and it restarts. If the player gets past day 51 the difficulty will increase by each day after 51.
Waco Siege Chatlogs[edit | edit source]
david1959 has joined the game
Koreshfan110: holy shit! is that actually david?
david1959: yeah it's me. where's our base at?
Koreshfan100 teleports david1959 to Mount Carmel
david1959: sick.
carmelenjoyer334: oh my god is that david
david1959: ya heard?
Koreshfan110 has given david1959 Automatic Weapons!
sammy: seriously? yah i'm telling cause you can't have those
sammy has left the game
david1959: fuck.
alphabetagency has joined the game
alphabetagency: ok so we've heard about people having banned weapons in the gam. you can't use those until you're level 25
david1959: fuck off
alphabetagency: yeah so me and my friends have administrator power, i wouldn't use that type of language
david1959: fuck off
alphabetagency has left the game
Koreshfan110: fucking admins bro.
alphabetagency has joined the game
alphabetagency uses Search Warrant!
david1959: can you just like leave us alone dude
alphabetagency uses Request Backup!
DaFeds have joined the game
david1959: bro?
davidian22: fuck this
davidian22 has left the game
david1959 shoots alphabetagency!
alphabetagency: haha
alphabetagency shoots Koreshfan110!
david1959: hell no!
Johnny B. Goode[edit | edit source]
| |
|---|---|
| Born |
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Johnny B. Goode was born deep down in Louisiana, close to New Orleans. Way back up in the woods among the evergreens in a log cabin made of earth and wood. Known as a country boy who could never read or write so well, although he could play a guitar just like ringing a bell.
Early life[edit | edit source]
When Johnny was a young child, the locals would frequently see him carrying around his guitar in a gunny sack, where he would go sit beneath a tree by a railroad track. The train engineers would see him sitting in the shade, where they noticed he'd strum with the rhythm that the drivers made. The people passing by would stop and say, "Oh my what that little country boy could play."
Red Ryder BB Gun[edit | edit source]
The Red Ryder BB Gun is a firearm developed in the United States
Could Abraham Lincoln say the n-word?[edit | edit source]
Legendary Football Game at Eric's Birthday Party in '04[edit | edit source]
Way back in '04, at Eric's backyard, the greatest football game to ever be played occurred.
My team[edit | edit source]
| Position | Name |
|---|---|
| QB | Me |
| RB | Sam |
| WR1 | Chad |
| WR2 | Aaron |
| TE | Johnny |
| OL/DL | Louis |
| OL/DL | Fat Ass Kid I Didn't Know |
| OL/DL | Tommy |
| C | Jack |
Eric's team[edit | edit source]
| Position | Name |
|---|---|
| QB | Eric |
| RB | Michael |
| WR1 | Jacob |
| WR2 | Ricky |
| TE | Brian |
| OL/DL | Oscar |
| OL/DL | Carlos |
| OL/DL | Donald |
| C | Gary |
1st Quarter[edit | edit source]
Coin toss. I called heads. The quarter lands on heads. I elect to receive.
Saw[edit | edit source]
story rewrite
Big League Baseball[edit | edit source]
dead celebrities and musicians
Jimi Hendrix[edit | edit source]
James Marshall "Jimi" Hendrix (born Fender Stratocaster Master; November 27, 1942 - September 18, 1970) was an American guitarist, songwriter, singer, and LSD user. Hendrix is considered by many to be the best guitarist of all time.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Hendrix was born on November 27, 1942 in Seattle. While his mother was giving birth, instead of a newborn popping out, a Fender Stratocaster appeared instead. About 30 seconds later a newborn Hendrix arrived. He grabbed the guitar and proceeded to play his famous song, "Purple Haze".