User:Administrator/Dawn (Pokemon)
Dawn (known in Japan as Hikari) is a character/actress on the fourty-eighth season of Pokemon. She is also in various fancomics, games, cameos, and other things. Currently, she is writing a book detailing her experiences.
Origins
Dawn was born in the very large and well-known city of Twinleaf Town. She grew up with a very famous mother, who inspired her to become the most famous actress ever. She began her training at the age of five, when she learned how to make "Poffins," small cookies which, when used properly, are highly effective bribes. Later on she branched off and learned other things, including but not limited to: how to look beautiful without having boobs, how to use Pokemon properly, and, most importantly, how to be on Pokemon and not wear the same outfit every day.
As a Character/Actress on Pokemon
Dawn plays a character almost identical to herself, except her character wants to be a Pokemon Coordinator, not an actress, and hails from a Twinleaf Town that is actually the size of a town. Her starter Pokemon is Piplup, a Drown/Heartbreaker type that is the most powerful of all of the Pokemon that have appeared thus far in the history of the show, including Metapod "the Terminator" MacPherson and Magikarp "Fish of Death" Gyaradosson, and all of the fan-created Pokemon. Unfortunately, Piplup is not obtainable in the video games as it is "just too damn powerful for anyone who is not in the anime to use, just like having more than four moves at a time."
Cameo Appearances
- Dawn has appeared several times on Digimon, for no apparent reason, in various disguises. This has inspired
a complete idiot obsessed fan psychoone of Dawn's fanboys to give his account the name Digimon in afutileeffort to get closer to his obsession.
- Dawn once sat in the audience of Jeopardy to cheer one of her friends. Unfortunately, she was discovered five minutes in and had to leave in order to avoid getting swamped by obsessed fans.
- The Simpsons also have requested Dawn guest star in an episode for 2008. No word yet on whether Dawn will accept or not. Chances are that she won't, due to the Robot Chicken incident.
- In the upcoming Bill Engvall Show, Dawn will star in a few episodes as herself...except in the plot, she is still in high school and is a superhero. However, unlike all the other shows just like that, she is actually cool.
- Family Guy has asked Dawn to guest-star in an upcoming episode, but as of now, there is no word on if Dawn will accept.
Role on Show
Dawn's addition to the show did three things. First, it made the show actually popular. Second, it made the show actually viewable without people having to ram their heads against a brick wall repeatedly every five minutes. Third, it gave Dawn's career the boost she needed to become the most-known actress across all of Uncyclopedia (and a few fansites). She is also the first person in the history of the show to take pity on Team Rocket and actually not hit them with the force of several dozen sticks of TNT.
Dawn is without a doubt the only character keeping Pokemon from being cancelled. She has extremely good fashion sense, especially compared to the rest of the cast. (I mean, they wear the SAME DAMN THING EVERY DAY, for God's sake!) Her spark has brought the life back into the show. For example, her cheerleader outfit is not only the most amazing spectacle of such an outfit ever seen, but it is now the mandatory uniform for several Japanese and American high school and college cheerleading squads.
Dawn is the only character on the show who still has a working bike. This is an astounding feat, as Pikachu has an annoying tendency to make bikes A Splode in the first episode in which they appear. However, Dawn has a specially designed bicycle that is immune to electrical shocks (she got it from Team Rocket's supplier, Acme Vehicles and Giant Robots BUT NO TRANSFORMER ROBOTS, Inc.)
Dawn is also the only character, apart from Brock, that can make edible food. This is very useful, especially since in the latest season no humans and only one Pokemon are trying to control his outrageous, perverted behavior. (In real life, Brock is actually a very stable person and is happily married to Yellow, who modeled for one of the characters in the original Pokemon manga.
May's job was similar, but she killed the guy who gave her that job after she forgot to take her pills. Immediately afterwards, May started to blab about how Dawn used her for sex (Rape). Dawn did not appreciate that kind of publicity, and immediately went to a phone book and hired Johnny Cochrain. Thus a lawsuit was filed. However, the lawsuit was dropped when Dawn's lust for May was exposed, since there are too many Pokemon pages on Uncyclopedia with that kind of crap anyway, which is a cause for the Salem Pokemon Trials.
Struggles Off-Camera
Dawn has had many struggles during her tenure on Pokemon, largely associated with obsessed fanboys.
Dawn had a very unsteady financial situation after the IRS screwed her over numerous times. She eventually threatened a lawsuit due to unfair, high taxes. The IRS eventually backed down after Dawn's long-time friends John Cena and Chuck Norris beat the living tar out of an IRS member after hearing of the heavily-publicized incident.
Marilyn Manson attempted to abduct Dawn while she was attending the Academy Awards. If it hadn't been for Dawn's swift thinking (AKA a can of mace), she would've been eaten by that evil monster with makeup.
Dawn had a faux relationship with Brock for awhile. However, everyone realized this was not the case when a MySpace bulletin on a random account (later revealed to be written by Ash's evil alter ego, Ash Rectum) revealed that Dawn was, in fact, too famous to have any actual relationships. Fortunately for Hollywood, nobody cared.
On June 28, 2007, Dawn attended Ash's funeral and drank spiked punch. She immediately began to dance in the nude, prompting everyone to notice that she needed medical attention. Police later found that Eric Dickerson, who was at the party illegally, had spiked the punch with an unknown substance that, when ground up, looked suspiciously like Anthrax. Dawn is doing well, although the videos of this escapade will circulate the Internet until the end of time.
Dawn's Novel
After getting a dishwashing detergent named after her, Dawn sat down to write a novel about her experiences on the Pokemon cartoon show titled, "HowTo:Live in a world where everyone is an idiot but you". In accordance with advice from her manager, Dawn loves questioning the sexual orientations of other Pokemon characters. Most Uncyclopedia Pokemon pages were, in fact, created by her. Dawn has been known to pull into the Pokemon studio lot with random metal songs blaring out her Ferrari S.I.C. Model#6237 "Wolfen"'s speakers. The basement in Dawn's house has a bunch of extremely valuable Beetles memorabilia and the Zora guitar, which Shigueru Miyamoto gave her after she was the only one to inform him during a press conference that someone had taped a sign labeled "I HATE JAPAN AND BENSON IS BETTER THAN ME" to his back.
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