Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Archives/06-22

The Newspaper That Won't Judge You!

June 20, 2022 • Issue #215 • Archives • Press Room

I HAVE STOLEN YOUR UNSIGNPOST! By ARandomPage

Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.

DAMMIT.------------

Sandwich of the Month is finally up! By ARandomPage
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made a Sandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..

ARandomPage has gone crazy! By Unnamed Space
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:

Opening the floodgates stopping the fish migration
Labelling everyone traitors who deserve "depth"
Naming an entire war-conflict-fiasco without any consensus
Not bothering to finish either of their articles
Fixing errors... wait, no, that's a good thing
Vandalizing the Hobo Queen 2's page
Stealing the UnSignpost
Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost

Biopic This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!

From The Logs

•May 29, 2022 JJPMaster protected User talk:MrX [Edit=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) (Persistent shoe puppetry)

•May 27, 2022 MrX changed block settings for Crocotta1 with an expiration time of 15:38, June 20, 2022 (account creation disabled, email disabled) (Continuous violation of her UN:OFFICE sanctions. See talkpage. Granting TPA, Cat, I hope you don't mind.)

•May 12, 2022 PF4Eva blocked ARandomPage with an expiration time of 12 hours (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Pony-hating nonsense)

Top VFH Competitors

•Norf-Zorg (opera) (4/0)

•Dear Dude (4/0)

•Uncyclopedia (5/1)

VFH Highlight Of The Week HowTo:Get Expelled from School (6/0)

From The Forums

•I made up rules for counting.

•Zombiebaron loves democracy.

•Zombiebaron still loves democracy even after democracy turns against him.

•A sysadmin came in to make a namespace alias.

UnSignpost News ARandomPage steals the UnSignpost. Read the first section for more.

Chat Quote ..... IRC is dead. And I can't grab a quote from Discord since I don't have Discord.