Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Replay

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It speaks for itself. I wanted to see how much actual humor I could stretch out of it. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 16:30, May. 22, 2012

Bagsies. EpicAwesomeness (talk) 07:25, June 7, 2012 (UTC)

Humour:	6	So, let's get the party started. First of all, as the concept is where most of the humour is derived from, think of this section as the CONCEPT bit. Having said that, the concept is probably enough to support this kind of article, that is, the whole idea of repeating the main verse. It holds itself together reasonably well, and is nicely formatted and the like, but the few odd bells and whistles such concepts require might need polishing. The whole thing at the end sort of bogs it down. The references to x and y are nice, but as it stands, could do with a touch more subtlety. Currently it just kind of shouts "In-jokes! Laugh!" without tying it to the rest of the article very well. In fact, it might even be a bit more workable to have a final joke that relates more to the core concepts, perhaps linking to Iyaz, or iPods, or the degrading quality of pop music in this day and age, or anything which bears some connection to the main themes. You can be the judge of how far you want to tweak it.
Concept:	6	And this is the HUMOUR section. Well, much of the article's humour lies in the concept, which is discussed above, but, as I said, the bells and whistles may need a bit of polishing. The links at the beginning are funny, but they kind of die off after the first two paragraphs. Maybe, it would be better to spread them out across the article, or even add some more if you really feel up to it, for example linking "iPod" to Product Placement. Once again, the ending feels quite random and unexplained, so it could be good to change it to something more conclusive of the rest of the article. Well, there isn't really much else to talk about here, so let's move on.
Prose and formatting:	7.5	Not much to critique here. The spelling is good, the formatting of the text is stylish. I suppose that the only thing that lets you down here is the irregular size/thumbnail change of the images. I know, .gifs are a bitch.
Images:	5	It could use a border. This is probably the low point. Although they are loosely related to the article (Steve Jobs, Iyaz, etc.) the images are, in all, very inconsistent with each other. The captions are good (Purgatory was the best for me) but it may be more in touch with the concept to make them more similar, keeping in the theme of repetition and redundancy. The Groundhog Day one works well at the end, although the slight inconsistency with the thumb border is a tad annoying and makes it look somewhat underformatted.
Miscellaneous:	8	The overbearing impression of this review is that the article needs to be sorted out, but really it's still a funny and interesting concept with mostly immaculate execution.
Final Score:	32.5	So yeah, a barebones review for a barebones article (in the kindest sense). A few kinks need to be ironed out, but overall it's of very good quality. After all, who am I to judge? Hope you found this usefull enough to nudge it into "that was a really great UnTune!" territory. Not that it isn't there already. Or that my advice can do that.
Reviewer:	EpicAwesomeness (talk) 09:06, June 7, 2012 (UTC)