Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/New York Yankees
New York Yankees[edit source]
GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 22:40, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
- I'll give it a go--
Director
WILL
YOU 333 21:35, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Meh... I have seen better- Nobby Nobbs
| Humour: | 7 | For starters: Congratulations on a nice article! and please ignore my number "grades." I provide mostly random numbers just for completeness.
On the article's humor: It basically has exactly one joke--casting the Yankees as the Harlem Globetrotters. You don't use too many words to develop this joke (though I would mince words in the intro--and will, if you ask), but there are few sideshows either. There is potential to comb through that century-long history you mention and develop explanations why these events must have been staged. The current article won't be long enough for die-hard Yankees fans; Baltimore Orioles is a good bit longer despite having less material to work with. A minor inconsistency is when you talk about heated arguments by the fans: There would be none if everyone knew it was all faked. Perhaps when fans have impassioned debates about steroids, they are just acting? |
| Concept: | 9 | Surely we needed an article on the notorious Yankees, and surely the only way to write one with a consistent theme is the way you've done it: It must all simply be staged. |
| Prose and formatting: | 8 | Generally well-written. I don't like the use of quotes-plus-italics. Some are necessary (quotes only) in the intro; totally unnecessary in Section 1 as the irony is explained; I would use quotes in Section 2 as they are necessary to show irony. |
| Images: | 9 | Attractive use of photos. Shooped logo is cool even though the bit density of the two halves is different. Tiny Red Sox fan flipping the bird is also used in Massachusetts and related articles, and I (living just north of the state line) enjoyed the assumption on that page that the kid is for real, more than I enjoyed your take that the kid is staged. On the photo just to the right, your caption is unusually tasteful. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | In Section 4: First paragraph sort of repeats the article's thesis, and ought to flesh out its final assertion (of dexterity in fakery) with examples; at the least, Jeter's notorious playoff play where he wound up in the stands on the third-base side. If that was staged too, tell us the story behind it! Second paragraph, on race, is really a separate section, though as it stands, separate sections would be too small. There is a direct link to my African American, which is funnier than the article you link to, IMHO. |
| Final Score: | 40 | Spend some more time gradually expanding this article, with reference to actual events in Yankees history, while keeping the theme of "staged spectacle" intact. |
| Reviewer: | Spıke ¬ 01:32 27-Jan-10 | |