Uncyclopedia:Protected page
It has wide acceptance among editors and is considered a standard that everyone should follow, unless they don't want to, in which case they are free to ignore it, in which case nobody will care. Please make use of the standing on one knee position to propose to this policy.
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This page in a nutshell: While Uncyclopedia strives to be as content-free as possible, sometimes it is necessary to limit editing of certain pages in order to prevent vandalism, spamming, and other douchey edits. |
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Fully-protected |
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Semi-protected |
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Extended confirmed protected |
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Cascade protected |
If you access a page, then you're accessing every page that that page has accessed. And that, children, is a sure-fire way to catch diseases.
Protecting the page reduces most of the risk, but the only way you can be completely safe is to become a virgin, or a monk ... and remember, always use a keyboard condom and avoid engaging in unprotected interfacing.
In some circumstances, pages may need to be protected by certain groups of editors against certain other groups of editors. Pages are protected when a specific opportunity has been identified that can allow users of certain access levels to show off that they have powers that you do not. We're gonna document a few reasons we declare when protecting pages, but it's really all about dick measuring.
A protected page is marked at its top right by a cocklock icon, usually added by rubbing a dick really hard on the screen.
No Muppets were harmed in the making of this website.
Types of protection
Full protection
This is the big one. Full protection (a term derived from full erection) is also commonly referred to as balls deep or balls-to-the-walls protection. A fully protected page can only be edited by an admin, and it has a nice, shiny goldcock to let you know that we mean fucking business.
Unlike the parody where full protection is used to stop pretentious pigheads from EWing an article about a liberal American politician, Uncyclopedia uses full protection for much more noble purposes. Common reasons declared for fully protecting a page on Uncyclopedia include protecting high traffic pages, templates that are widely used and transcluded, featured articles while on the main page, and locking contest entries for judgery, but the real reason is that the admins don't trust you as far as they can spit.
Semi-protection
Semi-protection (a term derived from semi-erection) is the most commonly used and widely visible form of dick measuring on Uncyclopedia. Semi-protection is the least restrictive form of protection and therefore allows a very large number of editors to whip it out. A semi-protected page can be edited by anyone whose account is at least autoconfirmed (a term derived from autoerotically firm), meaning the account has been active for at least four days and made at least ten edits. Autoconfirmation is quick and easy enough that even most residents of Alaska shouldn't have too much trouble with a semi-protected page.
In some cases, an admin may manually confirm a new user to allow them to edit a semi-protected page before reaching four days and/or ten edits. The admin will usually claim they're doing this to help the new user bypass the abuse filter, but again, they’re just showing off their tools.
Extended confirmed protection
Extended confirmed protection (a term that is intentionally convoluted and vague in order to showcase needless bureaucracy) is the highly esoteric form of dick measuring on Uncyclopedia that allows only the biggest nerds to flaunt their stuff. An extended confirmed page can be edited by anyone whose account is at least thirty days old and has made at least five hundred edits. The painstaking time and effort required to reach these points will remind you of blue balls, hence the bluecock representing extended confirmed protection.
When semi-protection feels like it's getting repetitive, administrators may use extended confirmed protection just to mix things up a bit, flex their guns, and give the "experienced" editors a little reason to feel special.
Cascading protection
The strongest form of protection available is also the least used, despite its relative understandability. Fittingly, its cocklock is colored with one of the most exotic of colours: teal. Cascading protection is a more powerful form of full protection which, along with full-protecting a page, will also full-protect any page transcluded onto the cascade-protected page.
Due to the throbbing power of this protection type, it is very rarely used, kinda like anal sex, and when it is used, it's probably on big budget high production value pages like the Main Page.