Uncyclopedia:Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball/judging2014

All entries in your category ranked by number with 1 being the best.

The Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

• Everyotherusernamewastaken

1. User:RAHB/Where Are They Now?: The Aristocrats: 8, 6, 6--no profanity, but lewdness delivered subtly, 4--unfinished
2. The Aristocrats: 9, 6, 5--laid on a bit thickly at first; desensitises us to the last third, 3
3. HowTo:Be an aristocrat: 4, 8, 7, 2--unfinished

• Kip the Dip

1. User:RAHB/Where Are They Now?: The Aristocrats - unfinished, but being an UnScript, as well as having the ideas laid out, it shows the most promise.
2. The Aristocrats - A well-written Aristocrats joke. It's shocking, though not quite as disturbing as most Aristocrats jokes.
3. HowTo:Be an aristocrat - A very simple template for an Aristocrats joke variation, which makes it all the more tragic that it's woefully unfinished.

• Zombiebaron

1. User:RAHB/Where Are They Now?: The Aristocrats Short but sweet, please finish this someday soon.
2. The Aristocrats Needs a lot of formatting love.
3. HowTo:Be an aristocrat Please finish this.

Best Bad Taste Article

• Nikau

1. - Shabidoo, for what will definitely be a feature with a bit of editing and pruning here and there. It kind of captures the essence of some terrible sci-fi fan fiction with a gratuitous amount of sex and poor taste. Normally I'd roll my eyes, but the awfulness is so overdone it's absolutely hilarious... "This gave me the biggest erection I ever had in my life. The idea of murdering billions of people (even if they were my own) turned me on so hard I blew a load in my pants so big my zipper flew open and I splattered Captain McMitten spooge all over the walls, the carpets and in everyones face." Fun and well written, I'd say a 8.5/10 if you want an arbitrary number rating.
2. - Everyotherusernamewastaken, for what has quite a good introduction... "Aliana Visita el Templo (banned from US release because of alleged antisemitism), Aliana y el Jamón Serrano (1980) (released in the US as Squirrel Squirrel Squirrel), which is infamous for its subliminal phallic symbolism, Aliana Evita Todo el Mundo de Combustión Espontánea (1984)" This section was particularly strong. The reading of political undertones in typical cartoon antics is also very well done, and the "Short Films" section is 10/10. The repeated mention of child abuse is tasteless but becomes slightly less funny because saying "he abused kids" is less funny than implying it like in the section... "When he finally returned to Spain in 1979 he received a hero's welcome; millions gathered to watch as he got off the plane, La Sección Nacional de Flamenco organised a palm-waving procession for him, mothers stood in a great line for him to bless and kiss their babies (they would later realise this was a great mistake), and there was a 21-gun salute. He had been commissioned to produce what would become the most famous and defining run of the show yet..." that was hilarious. The final sections after the first two suffer from things like saying "the show was sci-fi" rather than describing it in a way that could inject more humor, still 7.5/10.
3. - Mattsnow, for what was a funny article with a fairly common concept (sorry). I feel it needs a little something more unique to be a feature, because belittling the reader don't really hold water for too long. It was, naturally, loaded with good lines but the idea needs work, 6/10
4. - Xamralco, for two lines and some pictures. I'm sure it would be funny but now it's like those ads before the title screen at the movie, 3/10.

Although I hope this is a mistake, it is fair enough if you hated my article so much you didn't mention it, but Peasewhizz's red link isn't even in this category. --EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 02:26, 23 December 2014 (UTC)

Oops. I swear his was in the worst article category originally. Maybe I've been drinking too much. Anyway, I've re-read them. --Nikau (talk) 01:31, 25 December 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. --EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 11:33, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

• Lost Labyrinth

1. Jew space cowboys by Shabidoo

   Nice take on a sci-fi fanfic too poor taste for young nerds to gloss over, it even made me think "wtf" at a few points - and that's the best part.

2. I'm so much better than you by Mattsnow

   An article so insulting that it's funny. Could perhaps do with something that stands out a little bit more, as Nikau suggested, but otherwise good stuff.

3. Aliana y los Enanitos Grandes by User:Everyotherusernamewastaken

   Starts off pretty well only to rely too much on the child abuse angle, which isn't as funny when it's told to you straight. Regardless, there's still some great moments throughout. I'd perhaps avoid actually saying that it's child abuse and instead use hints to say the same thing but perhaps a little bit more subtle in its delivery. But overall, good stuff.

4. Diseased vaginas by Xamralco

   Great start...there's potential for this but as it is, I can't rank it any higher because it's just an intro and pics of foetuses and childbirth. But given some work I'm sure it'll be a good read.

• RAHB

1. Space Hitler by Shabidoo

   There's so many lines I want to copy and paste from this article to showcase its geniusly blatant and explicit comedic audacity. I can't because they would just fill up the entire page. Shabidoo knows what's good about his writing, and fans of his writing also know that, so I don't feel I need to go too in depth with my review. Just one thing, as always. Come on man, the grammar and spelling mistakes are starting to become less endearing!

2. Spanish Kids Show by Everyotherusernamewastaken

   Whatever this is, it's a welcome breath of fresh air. I'm not sure if the intro necessarily needs to be as lengthy as it is, but that actually alludes to part of why I really like the way this article turned out. Every time I think it's about to run out of steam, it pulls back on the control stick and rises again with a funny and/or ridiculous line. It's very understated and manages to make that work. At times it's almost like reading a Wikipedia article, for just the right number of lines, before subtly changing gears and keeping it out of the dreaded deadpan zone. There's a nice theme of satire on the children's entertainment industry without being too self-righteous about it, instead choosing to focus it in on a story of the characters involved in developing the titular program, and what the life of the program was like. The story it tells is coherent, a bit meta, and humorous, and really I love it for that. My only "complaint" on it in the context of this competition is that I didn't find it terribly offensive, although the subtle digs at entertainers and their decadent sexual lifestyles are certainly enough for me when judging the article on its own merits.

3. I'm so much better than you by Mattsnow

   This seems a bit thrown together, to be honest. In terms of humor, there's no buildup, no payoff, nothing that's explicitly a joke in and of itself, and uses a concept as old as time. I also have to express my own personal bias against the comedic style of over the top hyperbolic insults. In my opinion this is one of the lower forms of comedy, your mileage may vary. I didn't find it particularly offensive either. I think it can be, but its over-the-top nature all the way throughout completely dampens the sting of any of the individual lines themselves. By the end my internal voice is reading it like I would read a news article, even though the narrator is calling me a shit-head and telling me to eat his God-cock. I found it delicious.

4. User:Xamralco/Diseased vaginas by Xamralco

   Not much to say, it isn't finished so I won't really make assumptions about what it could have been. Hey, brother, I know that feel!

The Master Goa Tse Award for Digital Imagery

• Cat the Colourful's judgement:

1. File:RapeDadPoster.png by Zombiebaron

   Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure of the idea behind the picture, but it had the most professional looking editing and it was funny. I have no fucking idea who Bill Cosby is and how is he connected to rape but it looked like a twisted poster-sorta thing which I assume it was meant to and that worked.

2. File:Aliana y Amigos.jpg by Everyotherusernamewastaken

   The text you wrote for this entry was funny in the competition page. It has nice handdrawing there, nothing spectacular but it makes it message well through. The random photoshopped guy is.. random, but giggle-worthy, and overall I enjoyed it. Behind locked doors. With lube.

3. File:Space Ghost Dad.png by Kip the Dip

   It's funny but I think ZB came out with the Bill Cosby-idea first (seeing he submitted his picture before you). Extra points for the "Space Ghost" which in itself is funny. And traumatic too.

4. File:AwesomeSource.png by XReaper

   While the topic of the picture touches deeply our hearts as users of a quality-only satiric website I'm afraid this picture's message is too risky and too complicated for this competition. Try entering the more professional picture-editing contests however. Wish you all the best in your future attempts.

• Xamralco's picks

1. File:Space Ghost Dad.png by Kip the Dip

   Certainly not the best shop I've ever seen, but it made me laugh the most so I guess I'll have to go with this one. I really liked the subtlety of this image, which gave it the edge of Zombiebaron's shop. Although Zombie's take on Cosby was a better shopping job, I liked how this image didn't directly state the rape thing but still made the viewer think about it by showing Cosby naked with that creepy smile. Overall, just very funny while still managing to be tasteless.

2. File:RapeDadPoster.png by Zombiebaron

   The best done of all the images, and very clever although perhaps a little too blunt. I also thought that the picture of Cosby holding the pudding pop didn't seem particularly rapey. Perhaps photoshopping a drugged drink in his hand or something like that would have worked better. Nonetheless, I still enjoyed it and giggled like a little school girl.

3. File:Aliana y Amigos.jpg by Everyotherusernamewastaken

   I'm not sure what I'm looking at but I'm disturbed and amused at the same time: the perfect combination for a Turkey Day entry.

4. File:AwesomeSource.png by XReaper

   Incredibly stupid but still funny. Two boners up.

• Shabidoo

1. File:RapeDadPoster.png by Zombiebaron

   The chopping is so-so but the concept and the text is helarious. Well done.

2. File:Space Ghost Dad.png by Kip the Dip

   Nice font work. I don't know what cartoon this is so maybe I'm missing something. Did Cosby ever promote Oreos? The beer belly and belly button is pretty funny. Good choice to stupid smiling face.

3. File:Aliana y Amigos.jpg by Everyotherusernamewastaken

   I'm not really sure what I'm looking at but it did make me giggle.

4. File:AwesomeSource.png by XReaper

   I've had half a dozen stick-figure sex wet dreams since I've seen this. --ShabiDOO 16:10, 22 December 2014 (UTC)