UnPoetia:Me and My Sentient Penis

Poetry for people who hate poetry

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

You motherfucking bitches! LOOK! AT! ME!

Watch my crotch jiggle! YOU! CAN! SEE!

All by itself! HEE! HEE! HEE!

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

It leaps back and forth! OH! MY! GOD!

It's glad that it is- MY! FAT! ROD!

Anyway, I just NAMED! IT! TODD!

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

Todd 'n I 're heading 'ROUND! TO! DAY!

Tell all the people 'LONG! THE! WAY!

You know, well I just WANT! TO! SAY!

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

Old Uncle Steven? He's BOUT! TO! SCREAM!

Susan next door? She'll WANT! TODD'S! CREAM!

I'm gonna tell you, this AIN'T! A! DREAM!

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

Well, anyway, Todd's getting. KIND! OF! BORED!

He wants to be severed, WITH! A! SWORD!

And run free alone! OH! MY! LORD!

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

I argued all day, WITH! MY! DILL!

Hollering and screaming, IT! WON'T! CHILL!

Why the hell does it have… FULL! FREE! WILL!

My penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

I realized as our arguing HIT! ITS! PEAK!

It's not at all cool to BE! A! FREAK!

With a dick that is able to THINK! AND! SPEAK!

It sucks when your penis has a mind of its own, dudes!

So I sliced him off, FUCK! THAT! HURT!

He then crawled out through my GOD! DAMN! SHIRT!

I told him to always STAY! A! LERT!

Well, my penis had a mind of its own, dudes!

So now, I sit here, WITH! NO! DICK!

No bulge in my pants, AIN'T! THAT! SICK!

Todd's no longer there to, WRITHE! AND! KICK!

It's just better to not have a penis, dudes!