UnNews:Fit for a Princess: LeBron's new house is a little girl's paradise
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
1 April 2007
|
UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! |
AKRON, Ohio -- Lebron James' 6,350,440-square-foot house under construction in nearby Bath Township is shaping up as a Disney inspired castle fit for a princess and her court -- with a playhouse that seats ten thousand, eleven different themed tea rooms, dozens of walk-in closets and it's own Club Libby Lu.
While those outside the world of basketball may think it strange for a twenty-two year old black male athlete to collect and treasure items more akin to a spoiled eleven year old white girl, NBA insiders claim LeBron is by no means the first.
A former NBA all-star, who is also the league's third all time points leader and wishes to remain annonymous, had this to say, "Don't be judging young LeBron for buying all that princessy (sic) shit. A lot of young athletes go through that faze. Even I at one time had the largest collection of My Little Pony and Friends in the world. This isn't even just a B-baller thing either. Wayne Gretzky used to watch Disney's Cinderella before every game, and twice when his team was in the play-offs. We aren't gay or some sick NAMBLA fucks, we're just enjoying the fruits of our labors."
UnNews Senior Psychology Expert and star of the movie Dogma, Jason Mewes, offered his analysis, "That's some pretty twisted shit right there."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Fit for a king: LeBron's house to have theater, bowling alley, casino, and strip club out back for all his pimps and playas" Sports Illustrated (Sports Parody Site), March 27, 2007