UnNews:Dell says laptop fire problem "overheated"

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24 August 2006

Dell Computers introduces new, "MealMaster" laptop model.

TOKYO, Japan - While Japan's industry ministry has ordered Sony and Dell to investigate reports that some laptop batteries made by the Japanese electronics giant have overheated and caught fire, Dell hopes to quiet the media hysteria over any potential death and misery their computers may cause.

Martin Millinghoff, Dell public relations spokesperson, said, "There's no reason for everybody to get bent out of shape about this very minor production irregularity. People keep warm kittens on their laps, don't they? Well, this is no different!"

At least two laptop fire incidents have been reported in Japan since October last year, according to the ministry Thursday.

"After Sony-made lithium-ion batteries equipped in Dell computers overheated, with some of them catching fire, the ministry ordered Sony and Dell to investigate and report on the troubles," it said in a statement.

Dell last week announced that it was recalling an estimated 4.1 million laptop batteries made by Sony due to concerns that they could burst into flames when overheated, following reports of six incidents, in which no one was injured. "See? Nobody's been hurt," noted Millinghoff. "So why doesn't everybody just take a fucking chill pill."

Sony has said the problems of overheating and fires did not come from a problem with the original design of the batteries but was actually the fault of their stupid cost-cutting Chinese suppliers who are the ones who should be sued, if anybody, they said, not us.