“I knew an Ubergeek once, he was so much better than me at literature and poetry and even stuff that I didn't specialise in! The bastard was so annoying and was stealing so many awards that I deserved. So I killed him.”
“Hey guys, wanna meet on world 31 and slay the kalphite queen, no food, no pray, with barrows specs with our pures? Or do you wanna go try and get laid? The first one? OK then.”
“I've created UBER GEEKNESS!”
“Ubergeeks? Fuck Ubergeeks! I'm far stronger, uber, and fucking smarter than any motherfucking Ubergeek! Give me an Ubergeek and I'll snap the cunt's neck!”
Rise of the Ubergeek
The Ubergeek is the ultimate breed of geek, it is a mixture of all the geek cells that make a geek and has knowledge of every geek related topic imaginable. The Ubergeek was created in 1932 by Doctor Frankenstein when he was mixing human cells together to try and create new breeds of geek. He discovered that by mixing all the possible geek cells in the world he could create a geek that would make all other geeks obsolete, an "Ultimate Geek". Doctor Frankenstein eventully made the Ubergeek test cells available for purchase on the German Black Market but it would take quite awhile for the cells to reach the rest of the world... (holy crap, how many times did you just say geek)
History of the Ubergeek
Even though the creation of the Ubergeek is explained above, it took around another 65 or so years for the test cells to reach the "REAL COUNTRIES", which are the United States of America, England, Canada, Australia, and for some stupid reason I have to label New Zealand as a "REAL COUNTRY" as well, even though they only used those test cells for sheep shagging (plz New Zealand pple it's just a lame joke and I'm a German so I'm poking fun of myself as well so plz don't kill me). Anyways I went a bit off-track there so let's get on with this shit shall we? Once the test cells reached America in 1997 there were plenty of sexually active geeks around already and even a few non-cloned Ubergeeks. However Doctor Frankenstein's American-German son (which is the writer of this article by the way) didn't really care about this fact and put the Ubergeek test cells on the American Black Market. They took off like crazy, and eventully Doctor Frankenstein's son won many Science awards and his fame rose greatly over the coming years.
With the Ubergeek test cells growing in popularity they were eventully taken off the Black Market and started to pop up in offical Science stores and American Science Labs. Eventully the cells were released all around the Western World and Ubergeeks started to grow in numbers during this time.
There were many protesters of Ubergeeks however. People like Jimbo Wales, Paris Hilton, Mr. T and Bono expressed outrage at the practice of cloning human DNA to make Ubergeeks. Many people think this is hypocritical however because Jimbo Wales has recruited many Ubergeeks to aid his Wikipedia Empire, Paris Hilton uses many Ubergeeks as Sex Slaves. Mr. T and Bono however do not use Ubergeeks in any way whatsoever and as such they are not hypocritical over the subject.
Achievements done by Ubergeeks
They have written about 85% of all Wikipedia articles.
If you vandalized a Wikipedia article, an Ubergeek was probably the one who reverted it.
They know every single Programming Language in existance and are masters of them all.
They have written about 20% of all fan-fiction (because the other 80% is poor-quality uneducated junk).
They created the Death Star.
They wrote the script to every Star Trek episode except for the 1960's series (they did the movies as well).
They were part of the team that created the very first computer.
When Ubergeeks dream, a good dream for them is them successfully soloing Nex with nothing more than a bronze dagger and training shield. Ubergeeks have wet dreams; their dreams include things like:
g(ƒ(x)) = x3+y5 * 64 or some other nerdy math equation
AdS5 X S5 or something else to do with string theory
A new compact and safer interchange for for freeways in dense urban areas.
Their nightmares usually involve a woman taking of her shirt and bra and start rubbing... We'll stop in case an Ubergeek reads this.
Samus (she's one of the only famous female Ubergeeks. Teenage boys try to have sex with her but she'll only have sex with other Ubergeeks)
Al Gore (he claims he is an Ubergeek but we all know he isn't)
You (you wish)
Aaron Dalton. King of the ubergeeks. KING.
Matthew Christopher Davies Winner of Britain's Got Ubergeeks