My Favorite Presidents
I’m Mary Anne Milton, a third grade teacher at President Jefferson Davis Elementary School in Guntown, Mississippi. My class of 36 students meets dayly in the spacious Custodial Memorial Closet to learn the Four Rs: Reading, Riting, Rithmetic, and Rspelling. Additionally, the students gain a mastry of history and the three major branches of science: creation science, intelligent design science, and Jesuscience.
As an avid internets user, I have been troubled by perpistent myths stating that Miissiissiippiii students are the worst educated in the country. This is simply not true - Alabama’s students are far dummer - and I hope the following articles will help to disspell the myths.
It is a series of articles my students were assined to write dealing with the Presidents. Each student picked there favorite of the 36 Presidents to write about, using our superb 1962 World Book Encyclopedias and our top-of-the-line Commodore 64 computer to gain information.
I hope these articles will demunstrate once and for all that Mississippi’s students are among the best-educated in the country.
Aberham Linkin[edit | edit source]
By Caitlin J., 8 years old
Aberham Linkin (1809-1856) was the six teeth presstident of the unitid states. Aberham Linkin was a good presstident. He did a lot of good stuff.
South Coast/North Coast Rap War[edit | edit source]
Aberham Linkin’s rivul was Jeffirson Davis. Jeffirson Davis was in charge of Confedirit Recordz. Then Davis did a drive-by Aberham Linkin’s house. Aberham Linkin had invited friends to Fort Supper. Aberham Linkin was not happy about the drive-by, some of his friends got hurted. He got mad and started a war with Confedirit Recordz. The war kept going for along time, maybe three weeks, and then quit.
Got Killed?[edit | edit source]
Aberham Linkin was very happy about the war ending. It gave him warm fuzzies. But then he got killed by a guy. The guy who killed him was John Boot. John Boot didn’t like Aberham Linkin. John Boot workeded for Confedirit Recordz. So he shot him, it was on purpis, not like when my mommy shot my daddy in the crots for rasslin with the babby sitter. Mommys got a new daddy now, he’s silver and sounds like a bummblebee and makes mommy yell.
Update[edit | edit source]
Aberham Linkin is in heaven now! Hefreed the slaves
Linkin's Legacy[edit | edit source]
Aberham Linkin enspired me to rite a poem:
- Violets are blue
- Roses are red
- Linkin freed the slaves
- And now hes dead
John Effkendee[edit | edit source]
By Caleb F., 8 years old
john effkendee (1917- ) is the 35th president of the United States, he is very poplar, he’s been president since 1961
the early years[edit | edit source]
john effkendee was born on may 29 1917, that makes him really old, like older than jesus, he had a lot of money and bling and went to nice schools and his dad sold booze and stuff even to the knotzees, that's what my granma telled me
tp 90210[edit | edit source]
during whirled war ii, john effkendee served as the commander of the tp 90210, when the boat was attacked by ninjas with throwing stars effkendee saved evry crew member carried the boat to shore, unfortunately he wasn't able to fix the hole in the boat, the crew had to remain on the iland for sevral years, but effkendee made a radio and other cool stuff
politic[edit | edit source]
when effkendee finally got off the iland he ran for congress, he won, then he won the senate too and got married to marilyn manson, he wrote a book too but i couldn't read it because it was boring (didn't have picturs) and smellt like my granpa, then he ran for president
the kitten huffing issue[edit | edit source]
effkendee was the first cataholic president, a cataholic is a person who is addicted to kitten huffing, a lot of protsters in America were worried about effkendee’s cataholism, they were concerned that his addiction would cloud his judgment, effkendee proved them wrong by delivering a brilliant speech while high on cat fumes, he and his running mate linda johnston easely beat nick dixon in the election of 1960, coloreds and corpses were a big part of his victry
Cuban missile crisis[edit | edit source]
the big event of effkendee's presidency was the Cuban missile crisis when the dam Please refrain from profanity - Miss Milton
commies tried to blow up my uncle's schooldesk, president effkendee responded by going to fiddle castro's house and beating him with a baseball bat, to show that he meant business he buried castro while he was still breathing For the last time, Caleb... Casino is not about the Cuban Missile Crisis!!! - Miss Milton
today[edit | edit source]
after 46 years, john effkendee is still president, he takes turns with barak obama being president, he is the oldest president in American history, and he is still a practicing cataholic