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Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 7

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One can argue that the third Matrix movie was the best of the franchise, a daring yet clever subversion and synthesis of the Matrix's themes, a meditation on what it truly means for humanity to be free, when we have molded ourselves into machines far better than any robotic overlord could. Also, if you couldn't understand the Architect's speech on your first listen, you are a literal ingrate, and should perhaps read a book closer to your mental capacity, like "The Hungry Little Caterpillar" or "Everybody Poops."

August 7: Anniversary of the Day The Matrix Stopped Being Cool

  • 2003 - An adolescent who, for no reason at all, starts mimicking the slow-motion bullet dodge from the first Matrix film on a bus, is appalled to discover that his fellow passengers are not immediately breaking out in applause and high-fives, as is usual whenever any reference to The Matrix is made by anyone at any time.
  • 2004 - A suburban family, watching a toothpaste advertisement featuring characters in black leather doing kung-fu, lets out a bored sigh in complete unison.
  • 2005 - A stand-up comedian, beginning a joke with the words "You take the blue pill", is booed off-stage and has his car tires slashed.
  • 2006 - A man is kicked to death for saying "whoa" in a Keanu-esque fashion.
  • 2008 - Robert Mugabe becomes 44th President of the USA, announces that the Matrix "is totally not cool" and that people caught watching it "will be shot."
  • 2014 - The Matrix finally becomes cool again, for about three weeks until everyone gets to the third movie on their rewatch.
  • 2021 - They make a fourth Matrix movie, under the mistaken belief some of the love for John Wick will rub off on the movie by association.

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