Alive with pleasure

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
These children define being ALIVE WITH PLEASURE- SO SUCK IT!

Alive with pleasure is a state of euphoria experienced by a shrinking number of select people who enjoy everything that life has to offer, and aren't afraid of asking for more. Not content with the joy of living alone, these people have no problem taking risks and living a life that others fear to imagine. No cares, no worries.

People who are alive with pleasure are the jet set, the happening crowd, and people in the know.

Are you missing out on this type of lifestyle? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to take advantage of the miracles of modern science in helping to prolong you life?

The answer to your curiosity, your thirst for everything that life has to offer can be answered in four simple world that will help you understand the true meaning of “alive with pleasure”:

<font:large>Start Smoking Cigarettes Today!</font:large>

Its your life...[edit]

...start living it to its fullest and throw three sheets to the wind! Smoking the cigarette of your choice, your way, is the best way to declare your independence and show the world that you aren't afraid of being alive with pleasure!

Bette Davis Was More than Alive With Pleasure

Indeed, studies show that people who smoke are more likely to encounter meeting others who share your lust for life. Others who will partake of tobacco in any type of weather setting, anywhere, anytime, any place will be there for you. No more yearning to know what they do when they excuse themselves to go outside! Put yourself in the picture and know the excitement that they never grow tired of!

Are you the type to sit at home and watch the passing parade? Or do you really wash your hair on a Saturday night? When you smoke, you have no problem meeting eligible men and women, who like you find the type of enjoyment that smokers like yourselves get from life. Once you start smoking, you'll never be home on a Saturday night waiting for the phone to ring: you'll be at home smoking waiting for the phone to ring on Saturday night!

From Cowboys to race car drivers, fashion models to those who frequent the hottest nights spots, look at who is smoking and you'll soon see yourself with them, doing the things you wish you could do.

Imagine a lifetime[edit]

If you can imagine a lifetime, then you'll soon discover that smoking enhances your life.

More time outdoors, is just one of the benefits!

And with the advances in modern science, a three-pack a day smoker who starts smoking at the age of 18 can live to see their 50th birthday; why fifty years ago, this would have been unheard of!

Science has proven that mothers who smoke during pregnancy are more likely to have lower birth weight babies than mother who do not smoke. Imagine how your life can be enhanced by delivering a smaller baby. Fewer stretch marks and less possibility of tearing during delivery are but a few of the benefits of smoking.

While we're at it, those advances in nano technology not only mean smaller consumer electronics, but they also mean that its conceivable that, should science continue its discoveries, that you could avoid all that messy and bulky oxygen equipment in your old age that longtime smokers deal with right now.

And you know that means: more life, more pleasure!

Why wait[edit]

Being Alive With Pleasure Is Totally Hawt.

We could examine things like carcinogens; heck: they're everywhere. And we could talk about the dulled senses of taste and smell, as if obesity isn't already a problem for people around the world. And bad breath has been (almost) vanquished thanks to Listerine! So we won't bog you down with details that would keep you from being alive with pleasure.

Instead we invite you to join the millions of men and women around the world who play with fire everyday.

Now is the time to go and buy that cigarette of your choice, light one up, and after the initial coughing has ended begin to feel alive with pleasure for the first time in your life!

A boon for shy male homosexuals and fallen women also[edit]

Does putting things in your mouth and sucking upon it appeal to you? With cigarettes you can do it in outside public places with no embarrassment or need to swallow, with the knowledge that no-one can discern your disgusting sexual habits! For certain homosexual men, and women who really are chug guzzlers, a pipe can further enhance your pleasure and appeal to manly men who like tobacco stains on their bedsheets.

Feel alive with pleasure, and start puffing now!

See also[edit]