Airwolf

Hairwolf

Peter Stringfellow played by Steve Davies with co-star Derek Santini played by Demi Moore.

Hairwolf is an American television series that ran from 1984 until 1987, starring Steve Davies as an emotionally disturbed pilot struggling with depression. Episodes centered around the main character, Peter Stringfellow, and his various missions in a secret high-tech helicopter.

Synopsis

Peter "String" Stringfellow is an extravagant, gay hairdresser who is recruited into the military by fellow homosexual, Commander BA Baracus. (BA had moved from his lush Beverly Hills mansion to a remote location outside LA.) String is constantly harassed by a fierce bloodhound named "Tit", who keeps him awake at night barking and scratching at the remote tree. Becoming increasingly depressed by his lack of interaction with anyone other than violent terrorists, criminal masterminds, military dictators and international drug smugglers, String took up knitting to remain calm. His only real friend is Derek Santini – a 97-year-old heroin addict with senile dementia.

Called upon at a moment's notice by an organisation known simply as "The Firm", String would put down his knitting, hop in his helicopter and zoom off to blow up his next target. Constantly distracted by introverting voices that tell him he is just a no-good pussy, that he will never amount to anything and that everyone wishes he were dead, String would travel half way round the world to seek out a targeted criminal and unleash the full force of Hairwolf's arsenal on them, often decimating an entire town or village to ensure he got his man.

Production history

Season 1

The pilot episode focused on String's last love with a florist named Alan. The opening scene showed Alan riding String's arse like there's no tomorrow, but he is interrupted when a sniper blows Alan's head off through a window. String extracts the still-erect penis from his anus and starts weeping. BA then bursts into the room, bends String over the bed and rapes him until he bleeds. He then informs String that he is to train to become a helicopter pilot and that he will be flying the most high-tech military equipment that cost more than the rest of the army's budget for the last seven years. "What? I'm just a hairdresser," replies String, but BA has already left the room and is zipping up his pants. String then has a cup of tea and goes to bed. When he wakes, he has been transported to his new home – where BA throws him a helicopter flight manual and yells at him to read it by tomorrow because they are going to East Germany to "blow some fucker up".

The remainder of season one follows String's adventures in Eastern Europe where he destroys towns and villages in East Germany, Kosovo, Poland and Scotland.

Season 2

Taking an unusual turn, producers of the show completely altered the pattern of the earlier season by focusing String's attentions towards escaped violent zoo animals. The six episodes of season 2 had String hunting down a polar bear in the Arctic and blowing its arms off with Hairwolf's machine guns; blowing up a giraffe; hunting a pack of dolphins underwater in the pacific; capturing a Wombat in a net; blowing up a large spider which was hiding in a lady's shoe and, in the season finale cliffhanger, leaping dramatically from Hairwolf as he sends it hurtling towards a T-Rex.

Season 3

After the dismal failure of season 2, producers decided to return to the original pattern and sent String off to blow up criminals in countries that nobody really cares about.

Season 4

Once again deciding to take a radical shift of direction for the show, producers completely dropped the helicopter from the show. Instead the season featured String's becoming increasingly addicted to shoplifting whilst trying to avoid being found by BA. The show was axed after the third episode.

Reception

The first season of Airwolf was so successful in the US, UK and Germany that all other TV shows on all channels were cancelled in favour of re-runs of Airwolf. This lasted a total of eight months before season 2 was completed. Many people recall staying up for days on end watching the show. People had their friends around for Airwolf parties, changed their names to Stringfellow, wrote books and articles based on the show, acted out scenes from the show in their living room to their children and otherwise exploited every last drop of Airwolfness they could.

Unfortunately the second season's ratings dropped dramatically as the season progressed, until by the end of the final episode there were only three viewers – a bewildered pensioner from London named Edith, a small child from Winnipeg and a night watchman from El Dorado. It later turned out that the night watchman simply forgot to turn off his TV when he went on holiday, so the viewing figures were actually two by the end of the last episode.

Airwolf then regained some of its former popularity during season 3, winning several awards including a Golden Scrotum from the Ecuador Bullfighters' Guild for "a superb portrayal of the personal struggles faced by many bullfighters around the world". Producers of the show were somewhat mystified by this gesture but gratefully accepted the award.

The troubled fourth season received such heavy criticism from the press that it was cancelled after just three seasons. Star of the show, Steve Davies, returned to playing professional snooker, and the producer of the show, Edith Piaf was murdered by a fanatical fan when she was walking home from the shop one evening. According to bystanders, the fan had made his own life-sized prototype Airwolf helicopter and followed her for two blocks before she realised she was being followed, at which point he blew her up with a torrent of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles.