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Today's featured article

Curious George is the protagonist in a series of popular children's books by the same name, written by Hans Aloveryer and his wife Bernard. The books feature a bi-curious chimpanzee named George, who is brought from his home in Africa by The Man With The PVC Gimp Mask to live with him in his cellar.

Although in the illustrations George does not correspond exactly to any non-fictional species of monkey, it is believed by many that he is in fact a bonobo, a species known to be the sexiest of the great apes.

Our first view of George sees him living free and happy within a commune in North Africa, where he performs for money to passing tourists. One day a group of swarthy-looking men buy him drinks, and after a short time he wakes up with a burlap bag over his head. After a lengthy sea voyage George finds himself living in a cellar in New York, where he gets into a number of jolly japes with a selection of visitors to his dungeon. (Full article...)

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that Some crazy guy is still trying to figure this out?
that Bacon Bacon Bacon?
that I love you?
- that I actually hate you?
that Uncyclopedia is not funny, but is really Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon?
that too many unfunny Bacon gags can ~~Bacon Bacon Bacon~~ cause SEHS?

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May 16 Give Some crazy guy awards Day/Shameless Vanity Day: Goggles will be useless at the malls, for they do nothing. 1799 - Woody Guthrie was seen at the mall with his guitar. 1812 - Famed time traveller Woody Harrelson goes back in time to bring the idea of the mall to the past. 1940 - Joseph Stalin is caught with a woody at the mall. Later that evening, twelve million peasants are killed. 1955 - Carmen Miranda dies; shares of United Fruit decline 20% in heavy trading. 1965 - JFK gets assaninated again, grassy knoll charged. 1979 - First recorded instance of mass-woodying by all the men attending the opening of Britain's first shopping mall. 1980 - Woody Allen appears mysteriously at Detroit strip mall, is disappointed to find that the Big Boy doesn't offer kosher meals; he then proceeds to the Asian section of the food court. 1998 - Woody from Toy Story is said to be at the mall. 2000 - woody woodpecker seen at mall 2000 - Academy Award winning actor Sir Alec Guiness dies at the age of 86. Or at least, it is assumed he died, since all that is found is an empty robe and a lightsaber. 2006 - Cape Breton invades Uncyclopedia. More anniversaries...

Today's featured picture

Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.

Exodus 32:

15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.

16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron.
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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