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2DAYS FAATURED ARTICLE

DA TWALVA DOC2RS RAECD DOWN DA PAEL HALWAY THEYRE NU PATEINT ON A STR3TCHER ROLNG IN FRONT OF THEM!!1!1!!! OMG WTF LOL HOLD ON!1!11!1! OMG ONE WOMAN YALED JUST STAY WIT US

TH3IR!!!1! OMG PATEINT WHO WAS PRETY SURE TAHT HIS NME WAS SIMON SAT UP IN HIS BD SCRATCHAD HIS HEAD AND LOKED DOWN AT HIS SWOLAN WRIST!!11!!!11 OMG WTF UH GUYS THX VERY MUCH FOR AL THES AT3NTION BUT I THINK IT’S JUST MAH WRIST TAHT’S BROKAN!111!!1 OMG WTF LOL IT HURTS A LOT SO THX FOR TEH IV BUT I RILLY DON’T THINK U NED 2 B THES WOREID!11!1!! WTF !11!!!!11 !!!!111! OMG LOL IT SI SIMON!1!!!11!1 OMG WTF LOL HA-HA-HA!!1!111! WTF LOL YES!1111!1! OMG WTF HA HAD REMEMBRED HIS NME BUT STIL DIDNT QUIET REALIEZ TAHT TEH DOC2RS THOUGHT H3 HAD GON3 COMPLETELEY INSAEN

ON3!1!11!! LOL OF TEH MAEL DOC2RS W3ARNG A NM3 TAG TAHT RAAD DR!!1111 OMG STRANGLETHROT3R LOK3D UP DISTRACTADLEY!!!1!1!1 OMG WTF HA’S STIL TOKNG??!!?!?!! OMG I 2LD U 2 GIEV HIM MORPHIEN UNTIL H3 GO3S BLIND GU3S WUT?!!?!?! LOL BLIND PEOPL3 DON’T TOK!11!1 OMG LOL GIEV HIM.LATS!!1!!11!!!!1!!1!!1!1!11 OMG LOL SE.CARY!1111!!11111!!1111 OMG DA FOUR.UH.TWELVE-THOSAND!1!11!1!!1!11!!111 OMG WTF LOL MORE CS OF MORPHIENGOD I HAET KIDS.!!1!!1!11!!!1!1!1!1 WTF LOL" (MORA!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL)

RAC3NTLEY F3ATUR3D: GIEV A SHIT - DUNA - PO3TRY - UNBOKSSO UR WIEF WANTS 2 BCOME A MINIST3R (AND OTH3R SOLUTIONS 2 UR DALEY PROBLEMS) - BROTHEL - UNSCRIPTSSONG OF DA SOUTH

ARCHIEV – VOTE FOR F3ATURED ARTICL3S

YEST3RDAYS FAATUR3D ARTICLE

THROUGHOUT TEH HIS2RY OF 3V3RYTHNG EVER THEIR HAEV BEN QUESTIONS WHICH AROS3 TAHT PROVAD 2 B UNANSWERABL3!111!!1 WTF LOL^[1] MAN HAS ALWAYS ATEMPTAD 2 UNDERSTAND NATURES PHENOM3NON AND COMPRAHAND DA WORLD AROUND HIM BUT 2 NO AVALE!!!11111! WTF THUS FAR HA HAS FOUND TAHT TEH WORLD AROUND HIM MAY B MORE COMPLEX THAN HIS TINY LITLA BRANE CUD EVER IMAGIEN!!1!!!! OMG AND SO IT SI THES3 UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS TAHT PRAS3NT THEMS3LV3S AND S3RVE AS A CONSTANT REMIND3R TAHT WE R AL EXTR3M3LEY STUPID!!!!! OMG BUT WHO GIEVS A SHIT??!!!?! LOL

THES PAEG SI NOT ABOUT SUCH A QU3STION!11111 WTF BUT TEH QUASTION HAS EXIST3D FOR HUNDR3DS OF YEARS AND UP UNTIL NOW HAS BAFLED PHILOSOPH3RS AND AEVRAEG PEOPL3 AVERYWHER3!!!!!1!!! OMG DA QUESTION IMM TOKNG ABOUT OF COURS3 SI:

"WHO GIEVS A SHIT????!!? OMG LOL"

FEATURAD ONE YAAR AGO 2DAY
	THOMAS AQUINAS, FAATURED ON 29 JANUARY 208!!!1! OMG LOL SE DA F3ATURAD V3RSION!!1!!!!!1 OMG LOL

Did you know...

*... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?

... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here.." Donald Trump found GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES (Pictured), soon to debut "prison orange" business suit Antarctica becomes embroiled in upside-down flag controversy Michael Jackson comes back to life Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle · Bill Walton · The NBA logo guy Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
June 13: Double Entendre Day ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) 1076 - Some "king" has "won" a "battle", if you get it 1893 - Grover Cleveland "tries" to "remove" a "massive cancerous growth" in his mouth, if you wink what I'm nudging. 1927 - Charles Lindbergh "mourns" the loss of his "dead son" after his young child's body was "discovered", if you get my drift. 1971 - The New York Times "publishes" the Pentagon Papers, if you know what I mean. 1977 - The man who "assassinated" Martin Luther King Jr. attempts to "escape" from "prison", if you see what I'm saying. 2012 - A "series" "of" bombings kills "over" ninety (90) people in Iraq, if you catch my comprehension. 2009 - The last "veteran" of World War I "dies", if you metastasize my methodology. 2015 - A crazed "gunman" murders "twelve" policemen in Wichita, Kansas, if you're queefin' what i'm seepin'. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's "Valley of the Dolls."

In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:

That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,

Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,

Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,

I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.

But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;

What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.

This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!
Image credit: Prettiestpretty
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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