User talk:Multiliteralist/Archive001

Despoilmentificationizing

I obviously got here first. Look at the order of the topics and the timestamp. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 13:08, Apr 5 2010 UTC

Look at my arse while you rape. It has Necropaxx's cock in it. -- Style  Guide 05:10, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Let's see how long it takes.

Well? -- Style  Guide 13:06, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

BAHAHAHAHAHA RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPITY RAPE!!! Hello, how are you? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 14:12, Apr 5 2010

My arse smarts... -- Style  Guide 14:17, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Viking!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  06 Apr 2010 ~ 06:30 (UTC)

Press harassment

Hi Multi, I thought it would be kinda keen to do a little article on your Spin project for the UnSignpost this week. I wondered, therefore, if you had any quotes for us? Preferably of a lengthy nature, in order that I don't need to write too much myself (lazy journalism rules). --UU - natter 09:56, Apr 7

SoS or sOs or sos or SOS or oss or SSo

Humm! That article is over my head. Here's my take on SOS UnNews:Atheists decry SOS. Best of luck making your punch line, which I seem to have missed. You can do it! It seems to me that you can make breaking all the rules funny if you make it attractive. You article needs more visuals, more graphics and templates. More beauty. Hey, if you're going to break the rules then why have a contents section? As an "instruction book" article, kinda like what your doing, I also made HTBAFANJACF. Cheers!--Funnybony    10:34, Apr 8

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!

Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand!

We deliver on our promises By PuppyOnTheRadio As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition. Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us. Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded. So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far. If you are interested in helping to pad out contribute fine quality writing to the UnSignpost, or just wanting to bring up items of interest for our intrepid team of editors to report on, drop us a line at the press room and we promise we'll be polite when we ignore it. Spinning some new yarns By UU Another week, another new Uncyclopedia project, it seems. The latest to be launched is the Summit of Spin, which purports to be "an "office" that makes it easier and more organized to collaborate on article serials". It seemingly has no rules, but claims to provide "a series of tools to facilitate writing", which sounds dangerously close to helpful, if you ask us. Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes. Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" And we think that just about sums it up without us having to do too much actual reporting, so we'll leave it here. Why not have a look at the Summit of Spin and get involved?

Check out these pages! Someone wants to be banned Oh dear God, is it still going? World Cup fever starts here From our logs: 14:26, 6 April 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 167.206.233.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (ooh, is this a game of "state the bleedin' obvious"? OK: you're a twat. I win!) 15:53, 4 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Starsky133 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 seconds ‎ (I have no life and nothing bothers me more than people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." :-)) 01:22, 3 April 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.243.77.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Because I said so: Random insertion of the phrase "Monstrous testicles" into an UnNews article is not funny unless you're extrodinarily lucky, and you, my fine douche bag of a fellow human, are not lucky.) Biopic of the Week You'd think that, him having been on the wiki for over 4 years, having written a bunch of featured articles, and recently become an admin, we'd have done a bio on RabbiTechno by now, wouldn't you? Arguably Uncyc's second most notorious Jew (because no-one ever remembers TKF is Jewish), and UotM wayyy back in January '08, the good Rabbi now polices the wiki with his kosher banstick as part of the increasingly Semitic but non-existent Cabal. Old-School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. It was a stormy and dark night. Not a dark and stormy night. That's an unrelated story, one that’s got little to do with this narrative. That somber tale has got something to do with Paul Clifford and I'd tell you about it, but the library revoked my card. Something about expositioning too loud last time I was there. Sorta-Comeback of the Week A wild Gerrycheevers appeared! Gerry used April Fool - it's pretty effective! Necropaxx, RabbiTechno, Mordillo and UU used gullibility - it's not very effective! Gerry wins!

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MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:00, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

From my talk page...

Sorry, my creativity is at a low at the moment. Could you throw together a few mock-ups and I'll put them together? Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 05:52, Apr 10 2010 UTC

Come on over to chatroom, I'm on there, let's play some ball. That makes for better articles in my experience. -- Style  Guide 12:10, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Don't do chat myself - barely have time to be on here as it is. I've finished first version. What do you want to change? (Just let me know on the image talk page - that way we know what we're talking about.)Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 01:40, Apr 11 2010 UTC

Oh it was about the banner, sorry, I didn't realize that. OK, please do this:

• a full stop after TRUTH.
• leave the two as they are
• change "are you ready to create it?" so that it is just like the others (black background, same font) but make the text yellow. I was wrong about it, there is too much change if the background changes colour too.
• make the chnages happen quicker so that the "quiet" period is a little bit longer. Thanks a lot!

-- Style  Guide 05:16, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Should be about it now - just let me know about timing. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 11:55, Apr 11 2010 UTC

HowTo:Create a platypus

is looking great - I especially like the cartoon instructions. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:29, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks a lot - I'll move it to mainspace now, since I don't see what to add to it. If you come up with stuff like what to do if it fails, or technical details or such, you're welcome to add them. -- Style  Guide 10:33, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Have you ever heard the story of Churchill's Platypus? Like many people not so long ago, he wasn't fully convinced that they actually existed and so, during WW2, he made arrangements for one to be imported into the UK. A platypus was procured in Australia and brought all the way to Britain onboard a ship. However, the ship was then sunk by a German bomber as it entered Liverpool Harbour and the poor creature was never seen again, presumably dying either immediately or shortly thereafter in the cold and saline waters of the Irish Sea. I've always felt really sorry for that platypus. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:37, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

DDT can easily be replaced by depleted uranium

I suggest in the page of using depleted uranium instead of DDT. The benefits of DU are shortly discussed -- I used to be a  , now I'm an animal. 13:08, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Paavo Väyrynen, the strong man of the Finnish Government

This woman multiliterally bounced out of bed this morning! Thanks for the vote on Sideboob, appreciated. Al sans chains

Paavo Väyrynen is not very well-known to the international audience. He must be presented in all his glory, a one man party, who's words, deeds and ideas are flexible. There is only one above him, the God, who guides his way. He is not a conservative, not liberal, not leftist. The lack of any other political ideas but egoism. It is quite natural, that Väyrynen seizes the day and begans to fight against Australia.

Paavo and UnNews

Please don't take SPIKEs opinions to heart. He likes things to be orderly and precise in certain ways, and provides me with a sounding board to balance my ideas and opinions. He does not have the "power" to do more than express an opinion, and it is in fact I who "control" UnNews. Comments on my edits to your story will be on my page. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:08, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Apology accepted - although you never offended me yourself. I understand you have things to worry over in the real world, so never mind my flying off the handle. It happens every once in a while, basically when people refuse to understand what I'm trying to say. In fact Spike did me a slight favour: whenever people start ill-based arguments against me, it pushes me into adjusting my priorities. He really should understand being abrasive is deceptively easy, though. -- Style  Guide 05:42, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Sorry!!

Well thanks for the scare. Expect the article done within the next 12 hours, if not a few hours later. Preceding priorities have been slow. --EMC ^[TALK] 04:45 Apr 13 2010

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...

Something Scary This Way "Comes" By Skinfan13 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea By UU It has come to the attention of our ever-vigilant reporters (largely because Why? has been bugging us to write a story about it) that Why? has decided to stand down as Admiral of Imperial Colonization, the organisation that somewhat amusingly styles itself after British Imperialism, but uses American spelling. We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).

Check out these pages! The seed of a good idea It's a surprise, it says so in the name... Tell Uncle Dex everything. Everything... From our logs: 17:54, 14 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.185.215.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (On the charge of flagrant asshattery while in posession of an internet connection, I find you incredibly guilty) 20:05, 13 April 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I never gave you an inaugural joke ban? I blame you.) 23:03, 12 April 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.55.13.71 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (And the LORD said unto me: "Go ye, and smite the page blankers; they are as shit upon My heavenly sandal") 14:44, 11 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 79.73.5.86 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (You sound clever, and therefore I am blocking you to ensure that your talents are not wasted on us.) 21:19, 11 April 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a random ban time ‎ (chose your own adventure) Biopic of the Week Continuing our glorious occasional tradition of bio-ing people who haven't contributed for months and half the newer members of the wiki will never have heard of, let's have a look at Andorin Kato. An Uncyc stalwart since 2006, Andorin was voting on VFD, QVFDing stuff and writing good articles when most of today's active users were in short trousers (they're still in short trousers, of course, but it's been a while). In true on-the-ball Uncyc fashion, this hard work was recognised when Andorin was made UotM in November 2009. He was less than thrilled. The nostalgic return of Cajek Ban of the Week 11:39, 14 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (About time I did this. It's been a good two weeks and I haven't done yet.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Psst! I was just joking

Thanks for voting for Giant Jew Band. They all appreciate it! Al en chain 19:20 21 4

Here. (Please don't go ██████ yourself.) Cheers!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  21 Apr 2010 ~ 03:27 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I, like, appreciate your support, or something.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:16, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

---

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By PuppyOnTheRadio "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, RDB PuppyOnTheRadio. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Flammable blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Olipro blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Mordillo blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) RabbiTechno blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Olipro blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) ChiefjusticeDS blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Mordillo blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Maniac1075. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

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Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:34, 1 May 2010